Antonio popped his head up and listened closely, it had been a long while since he had heard that particular name out of anyone's mouth in the unit. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, he grabbed his jacket and hauled ass for his truck while sending a text to Kim that he would be back, he needed to confirm the information before he made any brash decisions.
At ten at night it was a flip of a coin where Matt would be, Antonio pulled the door to Molly's open and searched for him. He sighed a breath of relief when he saw him sitting in corner with Kelly. He slid onto a bar stool and nodded at both guys, "You heard." Matt stated simply, he knew why Antonio was there. "And you didn't let me know." Antonio pointed out.
Kelly sat back watching the exchange between the two men and decided it was probably best if he stayed put in case they needed a referee. "It took all of us by surprise, trust me it was out of the fucking blue and besides you've been MIA for months I didn't know if you even wanted to know." Matt raised both hands in surrender. "So it's fucking true?" Antonio growled and slammed his fist on the table.
"If it makes you feel any better she didn't seem too thrilled about it, sort of like she was settling for second best." Matt said casually as he took a sip of his beer. Antonio eyed him for a minute, "And the part about moving away?" he asked, desperately hoping it wasn't true. "He took a job out side of Indianapolis and she agreed to go with him. He has to be there tomorrow, she's going down in a few weeks."
Antonio didn't know what to think, he was on autopilot. He got into his truck to head back toward district; they were working overtime on a serial killer case and long nights were mandatory. He looked up and found himself parked outside of Sylvie's apartment. He sighed and rubbed his face wishing he hadn't overheard Jay talking to Hailey. The lights were on and he knew it was her who was home, he had seen Cruz and Otis at the bar but he was hoping to god that he wasn't there with her.
He climbed the stairs two by two and reached her door, he stood there staring at it too scared to knock, he had never been to this apartment and he wasn't sure who he would find on the other side. It took every bit of courage he could muster but he raised his hand and knocked twice. "Hold on." He heard her yell out and his heart stopped. It had been over a year since he heard her voice and he suddenly realized he had no right to be there, he had ended it, he had walked away, and he had disappeared without reaching out for over a year. He turned to walk away when the door swung open.
"Antonio?" Sylvie questioned. Antonio was too terrified to turn around to face her; he knew he would breakdown if he did. So much had happened over the last year and he wanted to lay it all out. He wanted to tell her that he loved her and missed her and it was the biggest mistake of his life when he walked away because his life had been shit since but he couldn't burden her with all that. She had obviously moved on and he had no place in her life anymore, she was just one more thing he left broken and abandoned.
"I made a mistake, sorry, I'll leave you alone." He said dejectedly and started to walk away without looking back at her. He felt a hand on his arm, "You don't get to show up after a year and just walk away without explaining why you're here." She spat at him. He hung his head willing himself not to cry, he wasn't strong enough to do this with her and he wished he wouldn't have come up the damn stairs.
"Why are you here?" she demanded as she moved in front of him effectively blocking his exit and making sure he would have to acknowledge her. He shook his head but refused to look up, "It doesn't matter, I'll just go." He said in a low voice. "No, it does matter. You are at my house and you obviously have something to say and I'm going to guess it has something to do with news that you heard." She was obviously pissed and Antonio felt even worse knowing he was causing her more pain.
"It does and I'm sorry I came, I shouldn't have, I don't belong here anymore. I'm glad you found happiness and I wish you the best." Antonio tried to sidestep her but she moved to block him. "Damn right you don't, you left me in the middle of the road dumbfounded over a year ago and I don't hear from you until you find out I'm getting married? What the fuck Antonio? Will you look at me?" she was pissed.
He slowly raised his head and looked her in the eyes; he could see all the pain and fire and he didn't want to keep looking but he also couldn't look away. "I'm sorry, it's been a horrible year, I fucked up coming here and I really just want to get back to work now." He needed out of there he could feel his emotions taking over and his eyes beginning to well.
"Oh, you mean like Gabby leaving or how about the pills you got hooked on or Eva getting kidnapped?" She asked clearly out of patience with him. He looked at her confused, he hadn't talked to anyone about the pills or Eva. "Kim." She answered, "She lets me know what's going on with you because I worry but you never even thought to check on me." She said sadly. "I didn't want to involve you and besides we weren't together and you had made it clear you didn't want to be with me." He couldn't hold back, if she wanted to do this then they were going to do it.
Sylvie grabbed his arm and dragged him into her apartment slamming the door behind her, "What are you talking about? You broke it off, not me." She yelled as she paced in front of him. "You were crying and acting weird, I thought you wanted out so I let you go." He explained with tear in his eyes. "What? I thought I was pregnant you idiot, that's why I was crying, I was scared and I needed you and didn't know how to tell you." She sat in a bar stool defeated, she was tired and didn't have the energy to do this with him.
Antonio stood there his mind just spinning trying to absorb the information, "Pregnant?" he stuttered. "Yes but I wasn't and I was on my way to tell you when you told me about your blind date and that we would talk soon but you never called." She said more softly, realizing this talk was long over due. "You didn't want to call it off?" he said slowly as he realized he had misread the situation. "Antonio, I was in love with you." She stated as if it was the simplest and most obvious fact in the world. Antonio closed his eyes and clenched his fists he really wished in that moment he could hit something.
"Hey, it's okay, I know you loved me too. We had a lot of fun but we've never really worked, our timing has always been off. But I'm glad we got what time we did and I'm sorry too for any pain I've caused you." She said as she went to him and grabbed his hand, he relaxed and opened his eyes, he had forgotten that she calmed him so easily. "Are you okay?" she asked him. Antonio nodded his head, "Yeah, are you happy?" he really needed to know if she was so he could let go.
"I think I am, yeah, the happiest I've been in a while." She tried to reassure him. "What about you?" Antonio shrugged his shoulders unsure of how to answer her, "As long as you're happy, I'm happy for you." He tried to deflect from himself. "That's not what I asked?" She wanted to know about him. He sighed, "I'm trying and maybe one day I'll get there but in the mean time I'll be okay." He tried to sound nonchalant but knew she could see through it.
"I really hope you find happiness Antonio, I know you don't think you deserve it but you do, you're one of the best people that I know and nothing you do will ever change that." She said as she pressed herself into him for one last hug. He wrapped his arms around her and held on tight, he knew she was what he was missing in his life and without her he would never really be happy but she wasn't his anymore and he would need to find a way to move on without her.
Antonio felt something hit him and he opened his eyes to find Kim at her desk staring at him. He picked up the paperclip she had thrown, "What?" he questioned as he threw it back at her. "Are we sleeping on duty now?" She teased. "Ha funny, no I was just thinking." he answered. "Sylvie?" Kim knew exactly where his head had been the last couple of months.
Antonio gave her a look and shook his head, "It doesn't matter, she's gone." Kim couldn't stand to see him like this, she had talked to Sylvie several time and she seemed happy but she could also tell she missed her life and friends in Chicago. She felt sorry for both of them but knew there was nothing she could do. "Have you talked to her?" She asked hoping that maybe they could at least be friends. "Nope, it's better this way Kim, we both need to be adults and move on." He stated sadly as he pretended to be interested in work on his screen.
It had been a long day, Antonio was beyond exhausted he could barely make it up the three flights of stairs to his apartment, he crested the top stair and found Sylvie sitting with her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms and head resting on her knees while she was sound asleep. Antonio knelt in front of her and shook her shoulder. She opened her eyes and smiled, "What are you doing here?" he asked concerned as to why she was on his doorstep sleeping at midnight. "I needed to tell you something and I didn't want to miss you." She yawned as she stretched and pulled herself up.
Antonio unlocked the door and let her in. "Okay, what do you need to tell me?" he asked. "I need to tell you that I've been thinking a lot lately about how I want my life to turn out and there is this one thing that I don't know what to do with because I need it to fit in somewhere because I don't know if I can live without it." He smirked, "And what is that?"
Before Antonio could blink he felt a body slam into him and her lips were on his. "What about the Chap?" he said in between kisses. "He isn't you." She gasped.