Behind My Pride

By: PhoenixJustice

Disclaimer: Kuroshitsuji is owned by Yana Toboso. I only own this story and make no profit from this.

Warning: Rated M for future sexual content, underage, slash, language, violence, etc.

Pairing: eventual Sebastian Michaelis/Ciel Phantomhive, etc.

Setting: Post-Green Witch Arc. Spoilers for the entire manga.

Summary: Trapped and put at a disadvantage that he had never dealt with before, he struggles to regain everything he once knew. Struggles to deal with Sebastian in a place, a situation, he had never envisioned.

A/N: This has been sitting in my mind for awhile now. It all kind of came together when I saw a certain gif from the anime and a whole idea and story kind of came to fruition immediately after seeing it. Or at least, in the very beginning, I saw the opening scenario of the story I would come to have in mind, and the rest followed with it.

Bold italiced words (when someone speaks German.)

Italics are thoughts.

Bold is flashbacks.

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One - That Butler, Raining

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Pat pat pat went the rain as it poured relentlessly onto the ground, the grass, the trees, everything and everyone. It made running that much harder. Feet all but sail across the stone, not noticing or not caring about the little splatters of blood that trailed behind them as they hurried, getting washed away in the rain.

They had thought themselves past it, past the whole situation. Yet now here they were, continuing to run for their lives (or at least running to protect Ciel's as Sebastian didn't exactly need protected). They had had to split from the others in order to get the "Green Witch" to safety. As well as out of necessity to protect Ciel himself. He was the King and everyone else the pawns and without the King the pawns could not act. He had to stay alive, had to keep going, so he could get his eventual Checkmate against those who had wronged him.

Sebastian's feet were like the wind as they fled, with shots and shouts trailing behind them. He knows some of them hit Sebastian; he can tell from the slight seconds it puts Sebastian off his running, can feel the pressure, can almost taste the blood in the air-blood that he can certainly smell. But Sebastian doesn't let on of anything being wrong. He flees and hurries and continues on without a sound of complaint even though Ciel knew that he had to feel it. Even if Sebastian didn't feel pain the way humans did, or had to worry about things like that, he knew the demon still felt pain and from all those shots...he was sure it hurt.

However he spared no thought of worry or concern for him. Sebastian was a Phantomhive servant. And he was a demon. As the servant of Phantomhive, he would always succeed in the end. As a demon, he would see through the contract he had made with the person on the other end. As Ciel had yet to get what he had gave up his Soul in the future for, Sebastian would not fail. He had never failed Ciel.

The rain falls down harder and he barely has a chance to wince at the sudden change of the downpour before seconds later, like a blur, Sebastian has removed a coat from a fallen body (when had he killed the person? He couldn't even see it happen) and moves it over Ciel to protect him from the rain as much as he can, barely pausing in his running stride.

"I apologize, Young Master; it is the best I can offer you from the rain until I can get us away from our pursuers."

"Hnn." He looks as best as he can over Sebastian's shoulders, straining in the rain-and the coat over him-to see anything. Sebastian could of course see much better than he, or any human, but he was focused on the task at hand, and ahead. "Can you tell how many are behind us?"

Sebastian is quiet for a moment, seemingly focusing on something. "I cannot tell exactly how many there are, Young Master. I would estimate at least thirty, if not more. And more are coming."

Ciel lets out a huff. "How many of these godforsaken Germans are there? No end to them. If-" Sebastian stumbles suddenly and that, more than the fall he takes, surprises Ciel. He lands on the muddy ground with a hard thud. He winces at the scrapes on his knees. He starts to look up.

"What the hell was that about, Sebas-" He stops as he takes in Sebastian who is panting rather hard. He perks up as he hears Ciel's voice and starts to get up heavily. Ciel can see the trails of blood flowing from many places, the most visible being one on his right shoulder.

A moment later he lets out a yelp as Sebastian picks him back up, hurrying back along the way in front of them. In the far distance Ciel can hear yelling, both in German and in English but it's too far away to make out precisely what they're saying. Large cracks of thunder start to follow them in their wake as they run. Sebastian was no longer running with the speed or grace of before. He was still fast, but Ciel can see something wrong. Sebastian never acted like this. He was never this clumsy, this almost-human clumsiness, stumbling.

"Can you kill any of them?" Ciel asks, nearly demands. He wasn't quite sure why he asked; something about Sebastian and his demeanor now was putting him off in a way he couldn't describe.

Sebastian is silent long enough that the young Earl starts to feel doubt creep into his head for the first time in a long time. Even when dealing with other things, knowing that he had Sebastian, a demon, aiding him, as well as his own skills (honed from time dealing with the deepest, darkest, parts of the city and beyond) made him feel...not invincible, but comfortable. Even during that time with the Circus, or with trying to get himself out of being framed for murder, had he felt this kind of doubt. He didn't like it. He didn't like things he couldn't control; it was the things he couldn't control which led him to be branded and to be dealt with numerous horrible things in the before and after it.

Sebastian's grip tightens. "It's safer to flee and get you out of here, Young Master."

That almost admission only further scares him and he does his best to keep it leashed and in check.

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Eventually he can no longer hear the shouts or cries or speaking from anyone. All he can hear is the pitter patter of the rain, the thunder in the sky, his sped up heart, and Sebastian's labored breathing. Sebastian didn't need to breath as humans did, but from what Ciel could gather in the-relatively short time, in Sebastian's eyes-time he had known the demon, it was an indication of overall being. Or something like that. And for Sebastian to be breathing as he was...it was not good.

He didn't understand-and he hated his lack of understanding in things above almost all else. Something was obviously wrong with Sebastian and the gunfire had nothing to do with it. The demon had been shot numerous times and it only served to amuse him. It may hurt him but it could never, ever, kill him. But here he was, panting heavily, moving slower now, as if moving truly hurt him.

The rain keeps up its relentless pouring, uncaring of any hurts or slights anyone beneath it may be dealing with. And with it came cold, which only intensified as the night continued on.

"We're at a town now, Young Master. Let me see if I can-" Sebastian stumbles again, and this time Ciel does not fall, but he does stumble up against a brick wall. He reaches for Ciel with his right arm but stops, wincing, grabbing at his shoulder, panting, the cold making his breath appear as if like mist.

"Sebastian..." Ciel says, still clutching the dead man's coat over him as if it were a lifeline. The rain pours over them.

"Young Master. It-"

Ciel's eye widens as Sebastian's face clenches in pain. He collapses in front of Ciel.

"Sebastian!"

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The sight in front of him has him stunned for a long time. Eventually the rain pours harder, knocking Ciel out of his shock. He walks over to where Sebastian lay, stumbling slightly underneath the weight of the coat he still clutched within his small hands. He looks down. Sebastian lay as he had been when he fell, still unconscious. It was a sight that he had never thought he'd see and it left him at a loss.

He shakes his head. It must be some kind of mistake, some illusion, something...Sebastian could never fall. As a Phantomhive servant, as a demon, he could never fall. This was just...

"Sebastian?" He pushes his foot slightly against the demon's body, which still breathed (if shallowly.) "Wake up. This isn't funny!" He prods at the demon some more, but Sebastian doesn't react. While Sebastian might like to test Ciel sometimes, to poke fun and prod at him where he could, he would never do it at a time when Ciel was so obviously in danger. Ciel was still in Contract with him and Sebastian's own morals-skewed as they might be-would not allow himself to jeopardize the Contract. And part of that meant keeping Ciel safe, alive.

He kneels down, hands clutching the coat around him tighter as thunder booms across the sky.

"Please."

The helplessness he felt now was something he had promised himself he'd never feel again.

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"Kami-sama! He's bleeding. You-are you okay? You're not hurt are you?"

He looks up as a woman, who looked to be in her early twenties, looks down at him in concern, an umbrella clutched tightly in her grip. She looked decidedly out of place in her rather colorful, blousy shirt, paint spattered blue jeans and long bright coat. She was also of a decidedly asian origin, which was also out of place in the midst of so many Germans he had seen just a short while ago.

"No." he coughs. He felt weary, the kind of weariness that wore at your bones, and cold. And scared. Helpless. And he hated that he felt that way. "I'm fine."

She raises a brow. "English. There haven't been any English folk this far down in a long time-" She spoke English very well and the way she said English led him to believe she meant English as in a British citizen; perhaps it was the term they used where she lived or came from. She looks over at Sebastian, kneeling down to him. He was still unconscious and still bleeding, though it had slowed greatly-something Ciel didn't know if it were good or bad. "We've got to get him out of here and somewhere dry. I have a home not far from here."

He nods, unsure of what else he could do or say. He disliked being led, but at this point he could do nothing on his own, so he needed the help. He stands, thankful he does not shake from the cold or fall from it.

"I'm gonna need your help though, okay? He's too big for me to carry on my own; I can take most of the weight but you'll have to help hold him on the other side."

"A-Alright."

She folds her umbrella, putting it in one of the large pockets of her coat and starts the careful process of getting Sebastian up. She winces as she lifts him, eyeing him with concern. Ciel too couldn't help but feel a bit of the same concern as he looked at Sebastian. What could possibly do something like that to a demon? A hundred, a thousand, bullets would not have made him do this before. And the bullets the Germans had shot had seemed like the same sort of bullets anyone would use, nothing special. And if they had been special, wouldn't Sebastian have noticed?

Sebastian lets out a groan as Ciel gets on the other side, as they move him along but he doesn't awaken. It wasn't the ideal way of getting Sebastian out of there, but the lady had been right; neither of them could carry Sebastian out of their on their own. They would have to get him out of this place like this and hope it didn't do anything more to harm him.

"What-" the lady lets out a grunt, as she had the brunt of Sebastian's weight as they walked. "What is your name?"

Ciel looks at her with a bit of surprise. With so much having happened in a short amount of time, he had completely forgotten his manners. Mind you, it was fair that he had, considering he had been going through a lot. But as an English gentleman, he had to fix that right away. It wouldn't do for the Queen's Watchdog to make the Queen look bad.

"Ciel. Ciel Phantomhive." There was nothing on the woman's face to let him know that she recognized that name.

"I'm Kyrie. Kyrie Yashimo."

It was quiet for a moment. The rain was starting to slow down, but it was still going on enough that they could still hear it.

"By the way, I meant to ask; exactly why are you wearing a dress?"

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I hope you enjoyed this!

Let me know what you thought!

-PhoenixJustice