"The Genius"
Mr Dobidees was a genius. A total, 100% genius.. At least, that is what Mr Dobidees said. 'I´m a genius', he regularly announced on trains, in cafés and in cinemas.
Even now, Mr Dobidees was hard at work being a genius. Paintbrush in hand, he sat by the bank of the river, watching the magnificent city with its curls of smoke rising above the buildings. . He listened as the chruch bells began their song, and he started painting. But after ten minutes, he stopped. 'Annoying', he said, 'very annoying'. A bird nearby walked in a perfect circle. 'Hmm', said Mr Dobidees, 'this is just too annoying'. Every time Mr Dobidees tried to paint a shadow of the line of a building or the colours of the trees, they changed... because the sun changed them. It was the sun´s fault. The sun didn´t understand genius.
Arriving home annoyed, Mr Dobidees sat at his desk and began to write his novel. It was going to be the greatest novel ever written. He had already bought 1000 pieces of paper to print the novel on, and he already had the title: 'A GENIUS SPEAKS'. His fingers hovered above the keyboard, ready to type the first words of the first chapter. But then, something strange happened.
The telephone rang.
Mr Dobidees jumped out of his seat. Who could it be? He stood by the telephone and watched it ringing. Eventually, he picked it up. Silence. No one there. He sat down again. But, by now, his concentration was gone. Geniuses and telephones should never be in the same room, he decided, so he got up and went to his music room.
The music room wasn´t really a music room at all. It was a large white space with a piano in the centre. Mr Dobidees sat at the piano, and a list went through his head: Beethoven, Mozart, Bach, Tchaikovsky... Dobidees... 'This is the moment the world has been waiting for', he said to himself. He breathed deeply. He raised his hands. But just before he could begin, a noise stopped him. A noise from... inside himself! It happened again. His stomach was making noises!
'This is extremely unusual', he said, 'unusual', he repeated, and kept repeating it all the way to the supermarket, where he bought a loaf of bread, a packet of cheese, eight onions, a banana and three tomatoes. When he got home, he was hungry. After eating some food washed down with a good cup of tea, he said to himself: 'I am a genius. Genius. Me Dobidees. Genius...'
Outside, a dog barked. A cat slept. The annoying sun shone. The world kept turning.