Description: In which Naruto takes crude sarcasm a little too literately
Blow Me
I came with an undeniably animalistic growl, as a startling display of blinding white painted over my vision. "Unbelievable."
"So, Sasuke…" Mischievously darting his tongue over cum-coated lips, he grinned.
Disgusted, – or so I told myself – I glared down at the blonde through half-lidded eyes and frowned. "What?"
"When do I get my ramen?"
"…"
"Well?" He drawled in that annoyingly clownish voice of his, unnecessarily prolonging the last couple letters for what I presume to be a dramatic effect.
"…You fucking idiot."
"Hey! You were the one who told me to suck your –"
"It was a fucking saying, goddammit!" Uncharacteristically shouting now, I could already feel a scowl making its merry way up my throat.
By now, he was also shouting to an equal degree, if not, more. "Then why the hell did you even let me suck you off? No, forget that. Wait wait wait, so I don't get the ramen that you promised me?!"
"That is so not what you should be concerned over right now!"
"Hmph." Pouting both childishly and like a lovesick teenage girl – both of which I suspected him to "secretly" be – , he continued, "I bet you just don't want to treat me to ramen, liar!"
"Oh for the love of…" I took a deep breath, just in time to refrain myself from fueling this ridiculous argument any further. Face-palming rather subtly, I glowered briefly at him through my fingers, before continuing with a gruff, "Fine."
"Fine?" He mimics, as if he was surprised by the sudden change of direction this all was heading.
"Yeah, fine. I'm taking you out to dinner for – *eye-twitch* – ramen." I spoke with monumental agitation, as merely even mentioning that accursed word was like poison to my tongue.
"So…" Naruto spoke tentatively, which for him I think was a first. "…like a date?"
…
…
*massive eye twitch*
"I'm going to kill you."