Sequel to my previous fic, 'The Poster'. Though I don't think it's as good as the original, I will let my reader be the judge bows

Disclaimer: Bleach belongs to the great Kubo Tite. Kenpachi's apron belongs to me. I don't know jack about making chocolates, so please don't criticize my cooking techniques

The shinigami Women Association; it was formed for the little things a female Shinigami needs. It is a society for individual members of Soul Society. It is a wise council hiding in the shadows, with the ability to influence the Central Room 46 and the decisions they make.

However, Ise Nanao feels that choosing a playful (albeit powerful) female as their president leads to very haphazard decision-making. More often than not the most alarming thing they had ever discussed was the redesigning of the command receiver, at which Nemu had produced a completely unacceptable suggestion. Everyone's unanimous decision to make Nanao vice-captain became clear after a few meetings, since nobody else can bring order to a committee of high-ranking shinigami.

But for the life of her, Ise still couldn't figure out why they made Matsumoto as the Events' Coordinator. Their previous event, the photographing of Kuchiki Byakuya's private life turned out to be a disaster and the Women's Association was banned from entering the Kuchiki Manor. In retaliation, Matsumoto had thought of a poll that had nearly every captain in a foul mood for days after. She wondered if it was possible for Matsumoto to come up with an idea that wouldn't harm anyone, herself included.

"Are? Why is this date circled?" Kiyone pointed to the calendar, where another date was circled. "The fourteenth of March? Did you circle the wrong month for Valentine's Day?"

Ise readjusted her glasses. "Don't you remember? It's the day when men give chocolates to return the ones they received on Valentine's Day, if they like the woman, of course."

"How foolish." Soi Fong had entered and took a seat. "Why wait for a months before returning a woman's affections? It is a useless tradition of the living."

"Ho… you mean you're not waiting for anyone to return the chocolates you gave out?" Matsumoto's eyes were gleaming slyly. Soi Fond silenced her with a glare, but the discussion wasn't finished. Ise sighed and rubbed her temples. That particular date reminded her of something she wished she didn't remember. "Chocolates…"

"But despite the mens' best intention, I don't think they can make chocolate to save their lives," Isane remarked, earning a snicker from Matsumoto. The snicker was pointedly ignored.

"This is where our event comes in," Matsumoto smiled in triumph. "A men-only chocolate-making workshop!'

"Why go through all the trouble? We can just make them, sell them to the sweets' shop and let the men buy," Soi Fong huffed.

"Of course it has to be handmade," Matsumoto said steadfastly. "It shows your diligence and patience, and home made chocolate has your feelings of that person in it. In other words, it's more special to give chocolate you made yourself. You made chocolates for Valentine's Day, so why not let the men do the same for you?"

"It is a good idea," Unohana Retsu finally piped up, smiling. "A domestic task such as this would give the menfolk some idea at how hard we worked to make chocolates for them for Valentine's Day, and perhaps they will appreciate it more."

"Waa!" Yachiru had just entered and overheard the last sentence. "Making chocolates? Can we eat them afterwards?"

"No president, we will teach the men how to make chocolate so that they can return the chocolates given to them," Ise patiently explained. Matsumoto and Kiyone warily watched the small girl. Yachiru doesn't react very well to people telling her she got it wrong.

"Oh… then Ken-chan can make me chocolate," Yachiru said cheerfully.

"Does that guy even like sweets?" Kiyone mumbled to her sister, who could only shrug helplessly.

"But who will teach the men how to make chocolate?" Isane asked timidly. Soi Fong snickered. "Their ego won't go so low as to be instructed in chocolate-making by a woman."

"Don't worry about that, I have the perfect candidate," Matsumoto winked. "For now, let's contact Kuchiki Rukia and ask her to get the ingredients we need."

"Rukia, EXPLAIN."

The smaller shinigami continued to pile things into the shopping cart, completely oblivious to the waves of reiatsu currently being expedited by the orange-haired boy. After a few minutes, Ichigo simply gave up and looked up to the heavens, seriously wishing he had been born a mushroom. Or anything that won't have anything to do with shinigami.

"The Shinigami Women Association wanted things that aren't available in Soul Society," Rukia finally finished her shopping. Ichigo felt his eyebrow twitch. "And they made you the gopher?"

"Us," Rukia corrected him sweetly and pulled the cart along the aisle. "Colored sugar beads, edible glitter, wafers – "

"Let me guess… chocolate making?" Ichigo asked wearily and Rukia nodded happily. "A chocolate-making class, men only. I wonder if nii-sama will enter…" Her gaze became distant, probably trying to imagine Byakuya making chocolates.

"I hope you've got something to pay all of this with, Rukia," Ichigo prodded her.

"Why did you think I dragged you along, Ichigo?"

Ichigo twitched. He knew he should have been born a mushroom.

Stepping into Soul Society was no longer an alien experience to him, though he still felt a strange sense of disorientation when stepping from a perfectly modern and bustling Karakura to the quaint and serene Seireitei. Their arrival was anticipated though, for standing near the entrance was the busty Matsumoto and the prim, bespectacled one. "Welcome back Rukia-chan," Matsumoto beamed and then gave him a once-over. "Your boy isn't looking too shabby either."

Ichigo didn't know whether to be offended by the 'your boy' comment, or the fact that she had just said he was 'shabby'. Luckily Renji chose that moment to come, grinning all over his tattooed face. "Yo, Rukia! And the strawberry too."

"It's Kurosaki Ichigo. And don't tell me you just happened to pass by," Ichigo growled.

"No, my taichou told me to bring you to him when you come."

Ichigo blinked and exchanged glances with Rukia. She tilted her head. "You mean me, right?"

"Nope. He specifically said 'the orange-headed gorilla'." Renji's merriment was obvious. "Kuchiki-taichou is always so precise, isn't he?" Renji grinned widely and Rukia couldn't help a smile. "I wonder what nii-sama wants with Ichigo?"

"He's not going to thank me for the chocolate-making class, that's for sure," Ichigo growled.

Nothing good ever came out of a meeting with Kuchiki Byakuya. The first time they met the bastard had stabbed him twice. The second time they met he was punched in the gut by Yoruichi. The third time they met all hell broke loose.

Which gave Ichigo plenty of reason to believe that the fourth time won't be any better either.

Kuchiki Byakuya was calmly sorting his paperwork when Ichigo strode into his office, not bothering to knock. He stood in front on Byakuya's desk, irritation increasing by the second as the noble head of the Kuchiki clan continued to stack his papers. At length however, he finished his work and lifted his eyes to study Ichigo.

"Whaddaya want?" Ichigo asked sourly. Byakuya made a sound like a sniff-snort hybrid in the way that only nobles can manage. "I see you have returned with Rukia - "

"We don't do pleasantries, Byakuya," Ichigo pointed out. "Get to the point already."

Byakuya raised an eyebrow. " - With chocolate-making supplies."

Although there is no love lost between them, Ichigo could understand another man's awkwardness in handling a potentially ego-busting matter… such as chocolate-making. "Don't tell me you're joining that dumb class?"

Byakuya raised a slender eyebrow. "Are you not? I remember Rukia had burnt several fingers in making one for you."

Ichigo reddened at the memory. Yes, he had received a… bunny-shaped (at least he was sort of sure it was a bunny) chocolate. And while he noticed that her hands were bandaged, she merely wrote it off as a training injury. "Hey, I'm different. I know how to make chocolate."

The skeptical look in Byakuya's eye was only there for a flash, but Ichigo caught it. And like all simple-minded creatures, he rose to meet the challenge. "Fine! You wanna see me make chocolate? I'll be at the class, so you'd better show up."

Byakuya shrugged, noting that Ichigo was still as easy to rile as ever. "Turn the corner to the left and write your name on the notice board. I'm sure they will be happy to have one more participant."

"Right!" Ichigo barked and was about to march away when he remembered something. "When is it, anyway?"

"Tonight."

"EHHH?!"

It was sundown when Hitsugaya's small figure found its way into the division headquarters. His steps lacked their usual calculated measure, choosing instead to waver in an unstable zigzag towards his desk. He gratefully collapsed into his chair and dropped face-down into a pile of awaiting documents.

"That can't be comfortable, taichou. Try the couch."

He moved his head slightly – just barely enough to spy his fukutaichou grinning at him from behind her own desk.

Her paper-free desk.

Kami-sama, when did the tables turn? Ah, his continuous absence must be a factor. No matter how skillful he is at multitasking, there's no way he can perfect bankai, train recruits and tackle paperwork at the same time. He briefly wondered if there was any Kidoh that could split him up into several clones – that would help.

He heard the sound of a mug being set in front of him and the faint aroma of tea wafted into his nose. "I know you're worried about the fifth division taichou, but they can take care of their own paperwork," Matsumoto was saying as she fluffed up the cushions on the couch. "Plus, I could oversee the new recruits training. You should concentrate on more important matters, taichou."

"Hmm."

"It would be really bad for you to collapse suddenly, taichou. When was the last time you had a rest and some fun anyway?"

He narrowed his eyes slightly. It wasn't like Matsumoto to be all gratifying and warm. His instincts riled against it! "No."

"No?" She halted in mid-air, surprise written all over her face.

"No to whatever it is you're planning." He said vehemently, as vehemently as one could do while face-pressed into a pile of paper.

"Taichou!" Matsumoto managed to pull off the perfect 'wrongly-accused' pout. "Whatever made you think I was hatching any diabolical plan that would directly involve you?"

"It's the indirect involvement that always lands me in hot water, Matsumoto," He lifted his face and rubbed his numb nose, scowling. "You weren't the one who got chased around Seireitei by a very upset Soi Fong and had to write a formal apology to all the captains for my irresponsible fukutaichou's unacceptable antics. I don't want to think about how much trouble you'd cause me by involving me directly."

Matsumoto leveled herself down to his eye level and gave him her best puppy-dog face. "But this time it's harmless, taichou. I swear it doesn't involve anything dangerous!"

"So I thought. But a big piece of paper, some crayons and your overly active imagination is dangerous enough." He replied icily. Refusing to back down, Matsumoto took out a book and set it in front of her taichou, who eyed it as if it would change into Aizen Sousuke at any moment. "…'Home-made chocolate making'? Didn't you give this to me last year?"

"Exactly," Matsumoto nodded, glad to see her captain wasn't making a sarcastic remark out of this one. "I thought you might have forgotten, taichou."

"Burning a few fingers in the kitchen under your supervision can't be forgotten that easily, Matsumoto," He sighed as he took the topmost sheet of paper from his pile and began to read through it. "In any case, I'll read it when I have the time."

"No, taichou! You have to read it now!" She banged the table for emphasis. "It's tonight!"

He sensed that he should keep his mouth shut and pretend he didn't hear her, but he was curious and curiosity always kills the cat. "What's tonight?"

"The chocolate-making class!"

Things weren't making much sense at the moment, and as Hitsugaya valiantly tried to assemble the disjointed, bizarre events it suddenly clicked. And kami-sama, how he wished he had never discovered his spiritual powers. He could still be outside there, eating watermelons and not giving a damn about Hollows and chocolate. The thought was so depressing that he groaned, dropping his face back down on his desk. "Don't tell me…"

"But you have to, taichou! You're the only man who can make them as well as me!"

"Matsumoto…" Hitsugaya didn't have the energy to yell any more. His exasperation had gone beyond the limit and was somewhere in void space with his patience. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't just leave you to clean up the mess you made?"

"Um… you get to lord over the other shinigami?"

"I don't need an ego boost in that form."

"You get to laugh at them?"

"I do laugh, Matsumoto. Just not in front of you."

Matsumoto looked around in distress and struck on an idea. Leaning down, she whispered tentatively in Hitsugaya's ear; "You get to see Zaraki-taichou in an apron?"

He sat up straight.

Matsumoto Rangiku is known as a woman who never does things in halves. Whatever she does, she makes sure it goes through even if it meant sacrificing an arm and a leg – her taichou's arm and leg, of course. And this wasn't any exception.

Hitsugaya's eyebrow twitched as he surveyed the lump of smooth chocolate in front of him. It was perfect; just the right shade of cream, not too hard and not too soft. After all, he had suffered quite a bit when learning the first time. But still, there was an immense sense of satisfaction when he returned Hinamori's chocolate with one of his own making. The joyful smile on her face more than made up for his injuries.

He glanced at the clock and tried to quell the dread welling up in his stomach. Where's a Menos sighting when you need one? No, he shouldn't wish for any misfortune; the chocolate-making class was a misfortune in its own right. He made a mental note to ask Kurosaki Ichigo about any more human traditions that might interest Matsumoto so he could make preparations and disappear.

"Waa…" Matsumoto beamed and poked the chocolate with her wooden ladle. "This is really good, taichou. Where did you find the heart-shaped mould?"

He reddened slightly. "How should I know? You put it there so I used it!"

"But I also put the round one next to it," Matsumoto said slyly and giggled at his annoyance / embarrassment. He pulled off the apron that Matsumoto made him wear and the ridiculous chef's hat. "Whatever. I'm going to do some work, call me when they're here. But I don't think a lot of people will come."

He was grievously mistaken. Apparently the idea of White Day had caught on like bushfire. He could count at least five people whom he never expected to show up for a cooking class, especially one that involves chocolate. "Dammit…"

"Now now taichou, smile," Matsumoto grinned cheerfully and pulled his cheeks to make a sort-of-forced-grin. He merely growled. While he didn't mind Matsumoto giving chocolate lessons to the females (he got quite a few of them, in fact, but didn't touch them) it was still not amusing to be doing the reciprocal.

His eyes swept the room, noting that everyone was at ill ease. Zaraki still managed to look surprisingly menacing in a chef's hat (where did he get that?) and Ukitake was tying his long hair up to prevent it from interfering later. Surprise surprise, Kurosaki Ichigo was at the same table as Kuchiki Byakuya, and Hitsugaya was willing to bet his future height that both men are taking this as seriously as a bankai fight. Renji and Ikakku were right up front, glaring daggers at each other and holding their ladles like katanas. Hitsugaya briefly wondered who will be the (un)lucky recipients of tonight's chocolate-making session – and decided it really wasn't worth risking his neck to ask.

"Oi, shrimp," Kenpaci growled. "You sure no woman's gonna barge in while we're in here, right?"

"I set up a barrier around the room," Hitsugaya replied. "I know none of you would like to be seen in…" His gaze roved around the room and partially shook his head. "Nevermind."

"Che. You'd better be right," Kenpachi snorted.

"Alright, let's get down to business," Hitsugaya sighed and rolled up his sleeves. "All of us wanna get this done and over with, right? So here's the first step."

"Uh… melted. It's supposed to be…creamy? Oi, Ikkaku, what does creamy chocolate look like?" Renji hissed at the bald shinigami and the latter could only scowl, careful to stir his. "How should I know? It's liquid, ain't it? How else should melted chocolate look like?"

"I dunno.. mine kindda smells funny…" Renji sniffed his and lifted the ladle. At that moment Hitsugaya passed by and sighed. "Abarai, you've overcooked yours. It's going to turn out bitter and lumpy. Start again."

"Yes, taichou…" Renji slumped in defeat. This is his third batch gone wrong. At this rate he'd never get one right to give to –

"Hot!" Ikkaku shrieked and Hitsugaya sighed. Men are so hopeless in the kitchen.

At one table, three Onmitsukidou members were working (as expected of them) very swiftly, very precisely. He stood by their table for a while, and eventually noticed that they were a little too tense. An idea occurred to him and he leant in to whisper curiously; "Did Soi Fong-taichou put you up to this?"

They glanced around furtively before giving a quick nod. "On pain of death."

"You're doing well," Hitsugaya assured them and drew back – only to feel something hit his head. Something hard, hot and sticky.

Ikkaku froze in his throw, horrified. He wanted to throw it to Yumichika, but Hitsugaya suddenly popped out of nowhere, right in the path of his projectile. Renji gulped and quickly packed his things. "I uh… I give up!" And hightailed it out of there.

The whole room fell silent, holding their breath as Hitsugaya slowly reached up, touched the melted chocolate in his hair and bent down to pick up the ladle, examining it with such venom in his eyes that even Kenpachi whistled. At length, he somehow managed to count to ten without murdering anyone, and growled through clenched teeth; "Any of you even so much as look up from their work, I'll freeze him solid. Got it?"

With the exception of Kenpachi, who snorted; Byakuya, who looked indifferent and Ukitake, who merely coughed politely, the rest of the room took the warning to heart.

Needless to say, the incident of the flying ladle was swiftly forgotten.

Ichigo meanwhile had more things to worry about that Hitusgaya's ruined hair. Byakuya, who was opposite him was working with that quiet precision that defined him, and it irritated Ichigo to no end, seeing as his side of the table was spotted with sugar and chocolate while Byakuya's side was… "Why are you arranging your stuff like that?" Ichigo finally blurted out, unable to hold his silence any longer.

As a response, Byakuya raised an eyebrow. "As opposed to scattering them, like you?"

"Well you're cooking. You don't have to line things up, y'know. It's weird."

"The Kuchiki women do not make a mess in the kitchen," Byakuya sniffed. "I would rather follow their example than yours."

It was on the tip of Ichigo's tongue to say that no, Rukia turns his kitchen into a hurricane disaster… but he caught himself in time. No need to dig an early grave. "Whatever."

To Hitsugaya's surprise, the one who seemed to have the least trouble was Kenpachi. He worked with a strange efficiency that was pretty surprising. "Uh… Zaraki-taichou?"

"What?" Kenpachi growled as he poured the chocolate into the mould. "Ya got somethin' to say, shorty?"

Hitsugaya twitched, but this was Kenpachi, so he let it slide. "You cook a lot, don't you?"

"Huh?" Kenpachi wiped his hands on his apron and took off the hat, whereas his porcupine hair sprung free from its confines and jingled merrily. "What's so surprising 'bout that? I cook all the time back in Rukongai. Sure here I got Yumi to do it, but somethin' as pansy as chocolate is kid's stuff. Just never learnt it, s'all."

The words hit several people (Ikkaku including) pretty hard, and they hung their heads in mortification. Hitsugaya sweat-dropped and moved away from the table. Apparently Zaraki was just as vicious in the kitchen as he is on the battlefield.

The rest of the class passed without event, and it wasn't until after the last person had left the hall did Hitsugaya dare to breathe a huge sigh of relief. Somehow they managed to get through without spilling blood, though on several occasions Hitsugaya was tempted to run his zanpakutou through Ichigo for his incessant bickering with the Kuchiki captain.

"There there, it wasn't too bad now, was it?" Matsumoto's voice came from the top counter and Hitsugaya wearily looked over his shoulder. "Define 'bad' for me, Matsumoto… what are you doing?"

Matsumoto was looking at a camcorder she had pulled out from under the table. "I asked Nemu to get me one on a hunch – ah!" Her eyes widened and Matsumoto choked on her laughter. "Taichou! What happened to your hair?!"

He made as if to grab the camcorder, but Matsumoto simply held it out of his reach, using her massive boobs as an obstacle she knew he won't dare cross. "Oh look at Zaraki in a chef's hat! And Kuchiki-taichou licking that ladle! Oooh hot! His fanclub will pay a king's ransom for that shot!"

"Matsumoto…" Hitsugaya growled. "Was this your plan all along?!"

"Taichou, you didn't expect us to do the class for free, did you?" Her playful smile caused the room temperature to fall below zero as Hitsugaya struggled to contain his growing horror. "You can't be thinking – "

"This will make a good photobook! Thank you sooo much taichou!" Matsumoto ruffled Hitsugaya's head and hummed out of the room, leaving Hitsugaya to struggle vainly against banging his head against the counter. Hueco Mundo. Nobody can find me there.

"Eh, you're still here, Toushiro?" The white-haired captain's head jerked up when he heard a familiar voice. Turning around, he saw Kurosaki Ichigo walk over to the counter he had been working at. "I forgot someth – wh…" Ichigo's voice faded when he noticed Hitsugaya's dark expression and the icy reiatsu now causing ice crystals to form around the room. It was an obvious premonition, and Ichigo instinctively began to back out. "I'll just come later – "

"This is your fault, Kurosaki Ichigo," Hitsugaya cursed with low venom. "You and your modern customs…"

"Just hang on!" Ichigo was now speed-walking towards the door, but Hitsugaya wasn't giving him that. "Soar in the frozen sky! Hyourinmaru!"

That does it, Ichigo cursed as he began to run for his life. Nothing good ever came out of a meeting with Kuchiki Byakuya! From now on he won't come near the man with a ten-foot stick, orders or not!

Matsumoto grinned as she watched Hyourinmaru tear through the streets of Seireitei, the camcorder in her hand.

Payback's a bitch.

Reviews will be greatly appreciated, at least to console Hitsugaya.