September 20th, 1954

Winry set the tray of small vegetable sandwiches down next to Elicia's offering of lemon and orange tarts and joined the other girls at the table. She had invited Gracia, Elicia, and Sara over to spend the afternoon while Edward and Alphonse were out doing… well, whatever it was they were doing this sunny Saturday afternoon. They had been a little mysterious about it, though Ed had promised to explain later.

Alyse had been invited too, but she had politely declined since – as usual – she had more than enough social events to keep her occupied! Today the vivacious young woman was organizing the senior class fundraiser after an all-morning volleyball team practice.

"She manages to keep so busy," Gracia commented as Elicia finished regaling them with Alyse's full schedule for the coming school year.

Elicia smirked at her mother. "I don't know where she gets it." Of course with how busy Gracia usually was, it seemed to be entirely genetic.

"Did Ethan go with Dad?" Sara asked curiously as Winry poured herself a glass of iced tea. Franz had dropped her off with a promise to return after he finished running errands.

Winry shook her head. "No. He was going over to the University today to work on his lab project." Ethan had finished up most of his high school classes by the end of the summer and passed the tests for all of them. She had been proud when he tested out of a lot of the basic college classes as well and enrolled in a couple of courses for the semester. He spent his mornings at the high school and his afternoons at the university, and half of his evenings working over at the hospital. She barely saw him since school had started a couple of weeks before.

"And people tell me I work too hard," Sara rolled her eyes.

Elicia chuckled. "That's because most of the people doing your job aren't nine months pregnant."

Sara glared – mostly in jest – at her aunt. "They might be more understanding if they were," she replied. Of course, the majority of the officers she worked with were men or still single, or both. "I can't believe you did this three times, Mom," she looked back at Winry.

Winry shrugged and chuckled. "Well it wasn't like I had much choice once the deed was done." Aldon had been the only one they had been trying for, but she had never regretted being pregnant any of the times she had been, even with the difficulties of the last. "And I tried to get your father to carry one of you. I figured it would be a great character building experience, you know? But somehow that never worked out."

Elicia burst out laughing. "I only wish! Though I doubt Edward or Alphonse would ever have been strong enough to handle it."

"Edward admitted as much," Winry smiled. That was one thing she had appreciated. He respected that there were some things women could do that men simply could not. "At least you only have a couple more weeks," she added, sympathetic to her daughter's plight. It was the cry of all women in their last few weeks 'please just let this end!' "Is everything ready?"

"For the most part," Sara shrugged. "We have everything we need, even if the apartment is a little cramped. Now all we can really do is wait. I wish we could have found a bigger place on the market in our price range though." Sara and Franz had looked in earnest for months, but there had been nothing available that would be an improvement over their current living situation.

Winry had seen how crowded the apartment was. It was cozy enough with two people, adding in a baby and it was going to be tight quarters. At least the baby did not need its own room yet.

"Well," Gracia spoke up, "I think I may have a solution to your dilemma."

"You do?" Sara asked, startled.

Winry looked over at Gracia. She and Elicia were both smiling.

"Yes," Gracia nodded. "It's been getting more difficult for some time to take care of that big house on my own, and it's far more space than I need anymore for just me. Elicia and Alphonse had been trying to convince me to move in and take William's old room almost since he first left," she chuckled. "Would you and Franz be interested in the house? I would rather have it stay in the family than just sell it off after so many years."

"That's a wonderful idea," Winry exclaimed. The Hughes house was perfect for a family.

Sara looked flabbergasted. "I… wow. Your house, Aunt Gracia? That's a great offer but… "

"Affordability is hardly the issue," Gracia held up one hand, forestalling further argument. "That house was paid off years ago thanks to a very healthy stipend from the government after Maes' death. We can work out a reasonable offer another time. Talk to Franz. If you would like the house, it's yours."

"You didn't tell me about this," Winry couldn't help blurting out. She'd had no idea!

"We kept it quiet," Elicia replied sheepishly. "We weren't sure what would happen and it was Mom's decision."

"It's getting harder for me to manage," Gracia admitted with a shrug. "Living alone just isn't sensible anymore. I'd much rather move while I am healthy and capable, instead of having an accident or something and finding myself in difficulty because there isn't someone around."

It made sense of course, though Winry still had trouble really thinking of Gracia as old. She was the same age range as Roy and Riza. Of course, this just made her more sensible than Roy and proved she aged well. "Well I think it's a wonderful idea."

Sara was still clearly a bit stunned. But then she was more easily overwhelmed these days. Winry was glad Franz was a very patient man. It took someone with patience to live with Sara. She was so much like Ed. "We'll let you know soon," was all she promised.

Winry hoped Franz liked the idea. That house was close, affordable, and certainly good sized for a family. Speaking of families, just what were Ed and Al up to anyway?

To say Edward was nervous would possibly have been the biggest understatement of his life. Today was, well, a test of ability that had him honestly scared. What he hadn't been able to make himself tell Winry was that today – with Doctor Gray watching – he was running what amounted to a series of stress and endurance tests. It had been a year and a half since he had been stupid enough to try medicating himself. Since then he had done everything he had been told to do since Winry had come back to him to try and undo as much of the damage as he could. He had built up his stamina pretty well, he thought, though he rarely pushed far enough to reach anywhere close to what he thought his limits should be, or what they used to be.

Ed was afraid to push that far; afraid to find out where the extent of his endurance was. Mostly, he was terrified of another heart attack if he misjudged. It was too easy. He would get in a fight, really get into it, and his heart would start fluttering or racing and he would have to back off and rest. As long as he was just demonstrating or keeping it low-key, he could go for a pretty decent amount of time. It bugged him to no end that he couldn't make it through an entire combat class actually in combat past his beginning and lower intermediate students. What was he supposed to do if he ever ended up in a real fight again?

That was what they were going to find out today. Alphonse was his opponent, both because he was the best judge of how to match Ed, push him, or back off, but also because depending on how this went, Ed would really prefer to have minimal witnesses. That was why this was being done on a Saturday, in the physical therapy room in the hospital, less than half a minute from a full medical team if this went badly.

Doctor Gray said he should be at peak performance now – or as close as he was going to get given his most recent medical examinations, which were much more frequent this year as his improvement was monitored. Ed just had to know what that really meant.

"All right, whenever you are ready," Doctor Gray commented, standing off to one side. There was also a male nurse standing by.

They had run similar tests before, just not to this extremity. Edward warmed up, and the doctor took his vitals and listened to his heart. He and Al would run through drills, and then the testing would begin again. There were often readings taken charting his heartbeats to get a more exact pattern. Then they would push it a little further. Slow, but steady.

Today would be anything but slow. They had already run through the warm ups and drills. Ed didn't feel tired yet and that was good. Now for the real thing. He squared off with Al and tried to ignore the fluttering inside that was just nerves. He could do this. It was easy; just a good old fashioned spar against Alphonse; testing their skills like always.

Well, Ed wanted a fight and he got one. Uncharacteristically, Alphonse moved in with an aggressive attack that Ed blocked and dodged almost a moment too late. He hadn't been all out in too long – he was missing his edge. He rolled, came up behind Al and went for his knees.

Al jumped, turned, and struck. Ed dodged and spun. They moved across the floor and Ed relaxed into it a little more. He pushed himself upward into an aerial move that took him over Al's head, but brought him down at an angle instead of right behind, allowing him to recover before Al struck where he expected Ed to come down. Ed didn't get out of the way fast enough though as he over-compensated slightly and had to drop, kicking for Al's ankles…

….and collapsing to the floor, gasping for breath as the world began to swim around him. He could hear the pounding of his heart in his ears, feel it thumping in his chest. Ed closed his eyes and forced himself to control his breathing, to relax and take in deep, slow breaths. Slowly he could hear once more over the sound of his own breathing, his heart… Alphonse was saying something and he felt hands on his shoulders.

Ed opened his eyes and looked up at the face of Doctor Gray "I… I'm okay," he managed though he did not try to get up.

She had her stethoscope against his chest already and had obviously been listening. She wasn't smiling. "Barely," she replied, her mouth a thin tight-lipped line. "I would say what we measured last month is about as far as you should be pushing but no more" She stood up again. "What you are doing daily now is fine. If you have to go a little further, you seem to be all right. Anything like this," she gestured around them, "Is out of the question."

It was almost like a death sentence. Ed didn't argue or struggle as Al and the male nurse helped him to his feet. He leaned heavily into Al until he felt his equilibrium returning. "Was it that close?" he finally asked, making himself meet Doctor Gray's face.

She nodded. "Don't push it, Edward. You're healthy and you're alive. I would be grateful for what you have and live with it. You're in better shape than a lot of men, and that's not just those your age."

She was right, but that didn't make Ed feel any better about it. The tests they had run last month put him at about sixty-five percent of what he used to be capable of, give or take a little. He refused to look his brother in the eye. He couldn't take the sad acceptance and sympathy on Al's face. "Thanks, Doc. At least now I know."

"Get some rest," Gray recommended as she picked up her clipboard and started making notes. "I'd like you to stay around for a little while though, just to make sure you really are all right. Though you should know, you're the most successful rehabilitation we've ever had from something that traumatic."

Ed flashed a weak smile he didn't feel at all. "Thanks, Doc. I guess that's another set of odds I've beaten." So why couldn't he do the same on this?

The afternoon chat session was just breaking up when Winry heard the door open and feet on the stairs. A moment later Alphonse appeared at the end of the entry hall.

"There you are," Elicia smiled at her husband. "We were wondering what you two were up to. Can you tell us finally?"

Al looked at Winry, and took in the crowd of women and fidgeted, then sighed. "We were doing some drills," he replied with a shrug. "Winry, can we talk?"

"Sure, Al," Winry stood and followed him back into the entry, confused, and now definitely concerned. It had to have been Ed going upstairs. From Al's expression it wasn't good news. "What's going on?" she asked quietly as soon as they were back by the door.

Al sighed. "Ed and I sparred so Doc Gray could do some tests, see how well his heart's performing, that kind of thing."

Winry nodded. She knew they had done something like that a few times before. "So why not tell me?"

"Today was different," Al admitted. "We went full out to see what would happen."

Winry felt her heart sinking. No, it couldn't be good news, or Ed would be crowing it to the heavens. "What happened?"

"Ed barely lasted thirty seconds," Al replied sadly. "He collapsed. It wasn't a heart attack-" he held up a hand and gestured frantically when she felt panic rising in her throat! "But Doc Gray told him he shouldn't try and push any further than he's already managed. He's got sixty-five, maybe seventy percent of his functionality back with his heart."

"I should talk to him," Winry headed for the stairs without another thought.

"He's pretty broken up about it," Al called softly after her. "He might not be too talkative. He was quiet on the way home."

Edward managed to hold it together until he hit the bedroom door. As it closed behind him, the emotions that had threatened to overwhelm him since Doctor Gray opened her mouth simply took over; grief, guilt, acceptance of reality, a little indulgent self-pity. He curled up on his side on the bed, his arms wrapped tightly around a pillow. The great Fullmetal Alchemist has gone fetal. I wonder how that would sound on the news.

"Edward?" The door creaked open a couple of minutes later and he heard Winry step inside, closing it just as softly behind her. "Al told me what happened."

"So then why do you need to talk to me?" Ed asked. He knew the answer; he just didn't want to face her with his failure still so fresh.

The bed shifted and he felt her warmth behind him, then her hand on his back, just below his auto-mail shoulder. "Because right now you're upset and hurt and angry."

Yeah, those were pretty good reasons. Ed sighed, fighting back tears. He wasn't going to cry about this. It was fair after all. He had survived despite himself, so wasn't this an equivalent exchange? "I feel like such an idiot." The words came out as little more than a broken whisper. "I did this to myself, Winry. I really thought if I worked hard enough, did what I was supposed to, and refused to give up I could fix this but… but I can't." He knew the extent of his stamina at slower speeds, with caution and outside of a real combat situation. Now, he knew how woefully screwed he would be in a real fight if he didn't end it fast. "I thought I was all right and then it just… came up so fast…"

Winry's hand began to stroke his back, the way she used to do to the kids when they were little, or when he needed a little extra comfort. "It sounds frightening," she replied calmly. "You know, Ed, what you've managed to recover is pretty remarkable. You're strong and you're here, but you've retired from active service remember? You don't have to worry about fighting anymore. If you can do what you need to do, than maybe you should focus on that."

She sounded so sensible, and yet so understanding even as she said things he didn't want to hear. Winry was good at that. "Because it's not what I want to do," he admitted, however self-centered and childish that might sound.

"And what do you want?" Winry sounded like she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to know the answer.

Ed snorted a humorless laugh. "That's the pathetic part. I want to do things my way, the way I used to be able to. I don't want to think about if I might kill myself trying to pull off a move that's still second nature." He clutched the pillow tighter to him, squeezing it with all the frustration he couldn't let out any other way. "What I want…. Hell, if Al hadn't been with me to bring me home, I'd probably be drunk in a bar somewhere right now, trying to forget the entire thing ever happened."

"Edward…" Winry sounded pained, though Ed couldn't tell if she was more upset by his admission or the tone with which he said it. He could be matter-of-fact about these things. Winry might like to think he was stronger than that, but Ed knew his limits; he knew what was in his head.

"It's the truth, Winry," Ed sighed, still speaking softly. "If you don't mind, I'd kind of like to be alone for a little while. Let me know when dinner's ready okay?" He didn't want to go down now, not with everyone still downstairs. They would all find out soon enough if Al hadn't already told them. He wanted to deal with his disappointment in his own time.

Winry hesitated, but only for a moment. "Sure, Ed," she replied just as quietly. Then she bent down and kissed the side of his face before standing and leaving the room.

As the door clicked shut behind her, Ed buried his face in the pillow and cried.

September 24th, 1954

Sara finished signing the last of the stack of inventory forms on her desk and slid it out of her way with a sigh. It was almost lunch time but she wasn't sure she would make it that long. Her belly was a mass of wriggling, shoving turmoil and had been ever since she sat down at her desk that morning. The baby was running out of room fast, and seemed to be trying to make as much as he or she could as often as possible.

"Hey, cheer up, Twilight," Maes Mustang's voice came from somewhere above her and suddenly Sara found herself staring into the chubby dark-haired face of Maes' five month old son.

"You know, Mustang, most guys just bring in baby pictures," Sara grumbled, looking from the smiling five month old to Maes' equally amusing grinning face. Her father – and Maes' – both joked that he was almost as bad about showing off his kid as his namesake Maes Hughes had been.

"But Roy's handsomer in person isn't he?" Maes laughed, gathering the boy – who had been dubbed Roy Mustang the second only moments after his birth – into his arms.

Sara sighed, but couldn't help smiling at her friend's enthusiasm. It wasn't like he actually brought the baby to work every day. He was just spelling Elena so she could have a little time to herself. She was supposed to be in to pick him up within the hour. "Yes, he's adorable. He's certainly cuter than you are."

Maes smirked. "That's what my father said." Baby Roy wriggled in his father's arms and giggled. He really was a cute kid, and well behaved too. Sara didn't really mind having him in the office for a couple of hours, and neither did anyone else. That was probably a good thing, given Sara had every intention of bringing her own baby to work when she was back on duty after he or she was born. Though Gracia had already offered her expert child watching services and those would definitely be made use of. Marcus Kane brought his littlest one in occasionally as well, and no one argued with a standard set by the Brigadier General!

"So your father still sees pretty well," Sara chuckled, wincing as the baby jammed its fist up under her ribs.

"So do I," Maes replied knowingly. "Why don't you take the leave you're due? You could have that kid any day now. You ought to be taking it easy."

Sara snorted. He wasn't the first one to make that suggestion. "I've got a good ten days till I'm due, and at this rate I'll probably get what's coming to me for being two weeks late for Mom. And my mother was working auto-mail at Briggs up until I was born on top of that!"

"No one accused your family of sanity," Maes grinned. Sara noticed the other staff in the room quietly going about their business and pretending not to listen though they knew she knew they were listening. It was just business as usual. "You could break the mold and be sensible."

"And ruin family tradition?" Kane chimed in as he walked through the door. "Now that would be a real shame."

"If I could I'd whip both your asses for ganging up on me," Sara laughed. Of course, that would require her to have some semblance of balance and a center of gravity somewhere other than inches out in front of her. "I guess I just have to owe you."

"How generous," Kane replied. "I have no doubt you'll be making good on that sooner than you should."

"Of course," Sara smirked, managing not to stick her tongue out at her superior officer in front of the staff. It was hard though. He liked to needle her for reactions, and being pregnant made her more likely to react before she realized it than usual. "I've already got it on my to do list."

"I think your to do list has enough on it to last a while," Kane chortled. "In fact I'd say it doesn't have any room left."

Sara glared at her boss. It was hardly her fault that they didn't make the military uniforms in maternity. Fortunately the pants were easily worn to accommodate – and larger shirts sufficed, but there was just no way to make the uniform jacket close this late in the game. Instead of losing her temper though, she kept her humor and smirked back at him. "Then perhaps you should take a few things off your own, Brigadier General."

Kane was caught off guard enough that he was momentarily without words. Then he laughed. "All right, point made. Still, Mustang's got a point. You should take a break, cause you're sure not going to get one in a couple of weeks."

"Is that an order, Sir?" Sara asked. She appreciated their concern, really, and she knew they weren't trying to be patronizing or didn't think her capable. But unless Kane was directly ordering her to stop working until she had the baby, she wasn't budging.

Kane looked amused. "No, Colonel, it's not an order; merely a friendly suggestion."

Sara could live with that. "Then take this friendly suggestion and let me do my job," she smirked. "Otherwise you're going to be in a lot of trouble when I'm not here to pick up the slack for the rest of you."

Maes laughed. "She does have a point."

"I can't argue with that logic," Kane agreed with good humor. "Well, I should get back to work. I just came over here to get away from my paperwork and give you a hard time."

"Well you succeeded at both," Sara retorted as he waved and headed back into his office. She actually appreciated the banter more now than ever. It helped that they still treated her like one of the guys instead of coddling her. Sara knew where she stood here; Twilight alchemist, Colonel Heimler – though the last name was still taking some getting used to and most still reflexively called her Elric. She was a little afraid of taking on the challenge of the new title coming: mother was a very big role to take on. She only hoped she was worthy of the name.

September 2nd, 1954

Winry was a few minutes early getting to the café between Rockbell Auto-Mail and Military Headquarters. She was glad to be meeting Elicia for lunch. They did it once a week as often as possible. If they didn't, Winry was sure she would have lost her mind years ago.

Elicia arrived just a couple of minutes later, walking in briskly and joining Winry at their usual table. They both ordered iced teas and salads and settled in for a relaxing hour of information sharing and any necessary venting they might need to do.

"I haven't seen my mother in such a flurry in years," Elicia chuckled as they waited for their food. "She's been going through the house ever since Franz and Sara said they would like it deciding what she really wants to keep and try and fit into our house or what she wants to leave for them or get rid of. You'd think she was moving next week instead of in a few months."

"I'm glad Gracia's enjoying herself," Winry chuckled, relaxing a little under Elicia's wash of friendly chatter. "Have you heard anything from Will?" Her nephew was in his second year of college out in East City, and she did wonder about him regularly, especially since Ethan wanted to go there next year instead of staying in Central and attending college in the capitol.

Elicia shrugged. "He calls every couple of weeks, but it's usually the same story. He's studying hard, has plenty of work keeping him busy, and he loves and misses us."

"You think there's more he's not telling you?" Winry asked curiously, though she would have placed bets that there was. Even having not attended college, she was not unaware of the culture, or of what could happen when children grew up and left home! There really didn't seem to be much difference in the stories she heard about college life versus the stories she heard about younger soldiers and officers in the military.

Elicia smirked. "Of course there is, but I doubt it's anything serious. When he comes home he brings home his pile of laundry, sleeps half the time and eats like they don't feed him even though he doesn't look like he's starving. That's when we usually hear about what's happened all semester, and he and Al spend a lot of time together when he's home, sparring, discussing alchemy and philosophy."

"And all the boy talk stays between them?" Winry hazarded a guess.

Elicia's smile became smug. "Hardly. Alphonse never gives me details, but I get enough. I am always reassured by stories lamenting how he never has time for anything but classes and his friends think he doesn't get out enough."

Given the typical complaints of college kids, Winry could see how that was definitely reassuring. "So no tales of heartbreak or wild nights?"

"Not a one," Elicia shook her head. "A couple of dates, nothing serious as far as he's told us, and you know Will, he's never had any reason not to tell us the truth."

It was true, though when he was home, Winry often found it difficult to remember that underneath the slightly scruffy hair and goatee and often un-ironed clothing was the clean-cut boy who was as honorable and well-mannered as Al. "Well I hope all that studying is paying off. I don't recall Will ever having trouble in school."

"He still doesn't," Elicia smiled. "He just worries about it more than most. He's bringing home top marks still and loving it when he isn't complaining about the food, the schedule, and the lack of sleep."

"Well I've pulled enough all-nighters working on auto-mail," Winry giggled understandingly. "I'm glad he's doing well."

"So am I," Elicia replied. "I know Al's relieved that life has been pretty uneventful for both of the kids, especially after last year. Alyse seems to have forgiven him and he's been pretty good about letting her alone about boys."

"That's good. We have the opposite problem," Winry sighed. "Ed and I would both be happy if Ethan would show interest in any girl at school. He's not unhappy, but he's all wrapped up in classes and working on anything that doesn't involve socializing with people his own age unless he's helping Alyse out with things."

"I think Alyse asks him to help for that very reason," Elicia's brow furrowed slightly. "They've always been close, and I know she wants him to enjoy their time in school."

Winry nodded. There really wasn't much else to do. Ethan wasn't suffering from depression or sick or anything, he just had moods like any other boy his age. She just wondered how much longer he was going to both deny his feelings for his childhood best friend and cling to them. Of course, Ethan was not the man in her family she worried about most.

"How's Edward?" Elicia's question cut right to Winry's thoughts with uncanny accuracy.

Winry tried to smile, but sighed instead. "He's doing all right. I know he's still disappointed about what happened last week; I just wish he would get over it you know? I don't want to say he's sulking but…."

"He's sulking," Elicia smiled helpfully.

"He's apathetic," Winry corrected. "He's not unhappy most of the time, Elicia, but he gets depressed sometimes, and he's almost never excited or enthusiastic about anything."

"Not anything?" Elicia looked mildly skeptical.

"I said almost," Winry smirked. She was about the only thing that seemed to make him happy lately. That didn't necessarily mean in bed all the time, but he only seemed interested in doing things that involved her or, sometimes, the rest of the family. There were no more high points in his moods to balance the lows. "I mean, he seems all right and he says he's happy, but I think he was really expecting to be able to do more. He took it hard and he took it very personally."

"He doesn't blame Doctor Gray?" Elicia asked, looking startled.

"No, no," Winry corrected, shaking her head. "I mean he blames himself still. It all comes back to that." It pained her to watch him beat himself up over his mistakes; it always had, but he seemed able to deal with it less as they got older. "The best I can do is distract him. Nothing seems to honestly make him able to move beyond that."

"Well, maybe now that he knows his limits he can finally accept where he is," Elicia suggested with a shrug. "Alphonse said it shouldn't actually limit anything he wants to do except the higher levels of combat that almost no one could match him at anyway. He doesn't need to do that anymore."

"But need and want are never the same with Ed," Winry pointed out. They never had been. If he wanted something, he went for it with his all no matter how impossible it seemed. Only this time, he had been told that this was as good as it got, and he had to admit that was the case. At least he wasn't paralyzed with depression the way he could be sometimes. It wasn't as bad as it could be; she just wasn't sure what else to offer to help Ed get past this.

Elicia shrugged then a smile spread across her face. "Perhaps you can offer him something that qualifies as both."