Chapter One – "He's Coming to Town!"
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a land called Far, Far Away. The land was surrounded by the Big Blue Ocean, so technically it was an island. On the island's south side was a thick forest known as The Forest, and in the smack-dab center was the castle. It was made of shiny white marble and had many points and peaks.
On a particularly sunshine-y day in Far, Far Away, the town was bustling about, chatting and doing all of the morning chores. There was new gossip that morning, and as we all know, rumors are based on a crumb of truth. The rumor going around was that Prince Charming was coming to town. Because of this line of gossip, most of the town's young ladies were at home in their bedrooms, swirling and spinning while trying on different gowns, or in their powder rooms primping their hair.
Prince Charming was the son of King and Queen. Nobody knows the name of the king and queen because in these stories, the author always fails to mention that, so everyone just knew them as King and Queen. Anyhow, they were expecting their son, so the rumor was not a rumor at all. Even if it were just a rumor, however, the entire town believed it. That included a lovely, golden-haired young woman with a mouth that ran a mile a minute and who had a sort of...crush on the prince.
At quarter to ten in the morning, a tall, white horse came riding through the streets. Atop the horse was a good-looking male with dark, wind-swept hair and pink cheeks from the sun's burning rays. It was Prince Charming. All the young ladies of the land came swarming out of their homes and rushing the horse. Being a good sport, Charming waved appreciatively and smiled politely. It was always good for publicity to be patient with his overly adoring fans.
The horse drew nearer to the castle, and the swarms of women grew thicker and thicker. Finally, he reached the marble steps leading up to the tall marble doors. The hordes of girls fell silent as he clambered off the horse. Then they all began jumping, grabbing, and shrieking at once.
"Oh my goodness, it's really him!" one high-pitched voice screamed.
"I love you, Prince Charming! Marry me!" another girl yelled, hopping up and down on one heeled foot.
"Prince Charming! Prince Charming!" A chant rose through the town.
Then, suddenly, the girls got quiet again. Charming hadn't even done anything. He looked around, puzzled. Then his heart leapt into his throat as he saw a brilliant, golden head approaching him, pushing through the crowd. He took a step back, followed by another, and was ready to break into a full-out run when the high-pitched voice came swimming to his ears.
"Oh, Charming!" she sang out. Groaning heavily, his heart sinking, he turned around to face the pretty face that was now gaining on him every second. "Charming, my prince!"
He faked a smile and waved half-heartedly at her. "Hey, Cinderella."
"Cinderella?" one girl called out in the midst of the huge throng. "Do you know her?"
"Uh, yeah", he said, shrugging sheepishly. "She's like, well...she's kind of..."
Cinderella stepped up onto the marble stairs with him and smiled out over the mass. "I'm his girlfriend. That's who I am", she said, hugging his arm close to her. He glanced at her, then shrugged out at the girls, embarrassed.
"It's true?" someone said.
"I knew he was too good to be true", another said, pouting. Slowly, all the girls drifted away.
Cinderella gazed up at him adoringly. "Oh, I'm so glad you're back! I missed you so much! Very much! Lots! A whole ton! No, a google! Yes, I missed you a google! No, better! A centillion! Lots!"
"Okay!" he cried, holding up a hand to stop her talking. "Okay. I get it. You missed me. Right."
She stared up at him expectantly. He looked back at her nervously before awkwardly saying, "What?"
"Well, did you miss me?" she prompted.
"Oh. Oh. Um, yeah. Of course I did", he lied.
"You did? Oh, that's so nice. Oh, you've made me so happy!" she gushed.
He hurriedly cut her off before she was off on another endless ramble. "Well, I'm glad", he said half-heartedly. "But do you want to know what would make me happy? A moment of silence with my girlfriend..."
"Oh, well I can do that! You so deserve it! One hundred percent!"
"Cindy?"
"Yes?"
"Moment of silence, remember?" he asked.
"Oh, yes. Right", she said. She nodded and pressed a finger to her lips, motioning silence. He grinned and they looked out over the kingdom. They stood there for a while in quiet, but then Charming realized that there was a ringing in his ears from lack of sound. There wasn't a single noise in the whole village. Even the flags flapping in the wind weren't making any sound.
"It's too quiet", he said without thinking.
"Oh, it is? Well, don't worry, Charming dear, I can take care of that! I have so many questions to ask you about your trip! Did you have fun? Are you glad to be back? Oh, did I mention just how happy I am to have you back?" she said, breaking off into a babble.
Charming put a hand to his forehead and threw his head back. "Oh, Lordy..." he mumbled.
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a land called Far, Far Away. The land was surrounded by the Big Blue Ocean, so technically it was an island. On the island's south side was a thick forest known as The Forest, and in the smack-dab center was the castle. It was made of shiny white marble and had many points and peaks.
On a particularly sunshine-y day in Far, Far Away, the town was bustling about, chatting and doing all of the morning chores. There was new gossip that morning, and as we all know, rumors are based on a crumb of truth. The rumor going around was that Prince Charming was coming to town. Because of this line of gossip, most of the town's young ladies were at home in their bedrooms, swirling and spinning while trying on different gowns, or in their powder rooms primping their hair.
Prince Charming was the son of King and Queen. Nobody knows the name of the king and queen because in these stories, the author always fails to mention that, so everyone just knew them as King and Queen. Anyhow, they were expecting their son, so the rumor was not a rumor at all. Even if it were just a rumor, however, the entire town believed it. That included a lovely, golden-haired young woman with a mouth that ran a mile a minute and who had a sort of...crush on the prince.
At quarter to ten in the morning, a tall, white horse came riding through the streets. Atop the horse was a good-looking male with dark, wind-swept hair and pink cheeks from the sun's burning rays. It was Prince Charming. All the young ladies of the land came swarming out of their homes and rushing the horse. Being a good sport, Charming waved appreciatively and smiled politely. It was always good for publicity to be patient with his overly adoring fans.
The horse drew nearer to the castle, and the swarms of women grew thicker and thicker. Finally, he reached the marble steps leading up to the tall marble doors. The hordes of girls fell silent as he clambered off the horse. Then they all began jumping, grabbing, and shrieking at once.
"Oh my goodness, it's really him!" one high-pitched voice screamed.
"I love you, Prince Charming! Marry me!" another girl yelled, hopping up and down on one heeled foot.
"Prince Charming! Prince Charming!" A chant rose through the town.
Then, suddenly, the girls got quiet again. Charming hadn't even done anything. He looked around, puzzled. Then his heart leapt into his throat as he saw a brilliant, golden head approaching him, pushing through the crowd. He took a step back, followed by another, and was ready to break into a full-out run when the high-pitched voice came swimming to his ears.
"Oh, Charming!" she sang out. Groaning heavily, his heart sinking, he turned around to face the pretty face that was now gaining on him every second. "Charming, my prince!"
He faked a smile and waved half-heartedly at her. "Hey, Cinderella."
"Cinderella?" one girl called out in the midst of the huge throng. "Do you know her?"
"Uh, yeah", he said, shrugging sheepishly. "She's like, well...she's kind of..."
Cinderella stepped up onto the marble stairs with him and smiled out over the mass. "I'm his girlfriend. That's who I am", she said, hugging his arm close to her. He glanced at her, then shrugged out at the girls, embarrassed.
"It's true?" someone said.
"I knew he was too good to be true", another said, pouting. Slowly, all the girls drifted away.
Cinderella gazed up at him adoringly. "Oh, I'm so glad you're back! I missed you so much! Very much! Lots! A whole ton! No, a google! Yes, I missed you a google! No, better! A centillion! Lots!"
"Okay!" he cried, holding up a hand to stop her talking. "Okay. I get it. You missed me. Right."
She stared up at him expectantly. He looked back at her nervously before awkwardly saying, "What?"
"Well, did you miss me?" she prompted.
"Oh. Oh. Um, yeah. Of course I did", he lied.
"You did? Oh, that's so nice. Oh, you've made me so happy!" she gushed.
He hurriedly cut her off before she was off on another endless ramble. "Well, I'm glad", he said half-heartedly. "But do you want to know what would make me happy? A moment of silence with my girlfriend..."
"Oh, well I can do that! You so deserve it! One hundred percent!"
"Cindy?"
"Yes?"
"Moment of silence, remember?" he asked.
"Oh, yes. Right", she said. She nodded and pressed a finger to her lips, motioning silence. He grinned and they looked out over the kingdom. They stood there for a while in quiet, but then Charming realized that there was a ringing in his ears from lack of sound. There wasn't a single noise in the whole village. Even the flags flapping in the wind weren't making any sound.
"It's too quiet", he said without thinking.
"Oh, it is? Well, don't worry, Charming dear, I can take care of that! I have so many questions to ask you about your trip! Did you have fun? Are you glad to be back? Oh, did I mention just how happy I am to have you back?" she said, breaking off into a babble.
Charming put a hand to his forehead and threw his head back. "Oh, Lordy..." he mumbled.