Nothing belongs to me expect the plot.
This is dedicated to Peepee and any one who reviewed my other stories (
This story is a little disturbing, but if you think about it, it does make sense…. In a weird and demented sort of way.
This story is actually a dream I had a few days ago (shows how obsessed I am!!!!!) and when I told my good friend Peepee (read her stories) about it, she found the idea hilariously true and told me I had to write it down, soooooo here it is….
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"blahblah" speech
'dumdedum' thought
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The Conspiracy Theory
By Violet Doll
It was a cold dreary night in November. Harry and Hermione were sitting in the Gryffindor common room, staying warm by the fire. Normally Ron would have been with them, but earlier that evening he had said something about a hot Ravenclaw and that he was going to the library because she was gonna be there. By the time Harry and Hermione had gotten over the shock of the fact that Ron was going to the library willingly, he was long gone.
Harry was woken from his daydream of winning the Quidditch cup (the 857th quidditch daydream that day!) by Hermoine suddenly exclaiming,
"Of course it all makes sense now!"
Harry, now used to Hermoines sudden outbursts, took it all with a pinch of salt, sighed and asked in a weary voice,
"What makes sense?"
Knowing he was probably in for a 5-hour lecture now, he wished he hadn't asked.
"The Weasleys. It's a conspiracy!"
She exclaimed again, turning to look at Harry, her eyes wide. Harry started to edge away, believing that Hermoine had finally gone over the edge. Hermoine seeing this, tried to reassure him,
"No, no, wait listen to me, I've worked it out."
Doubt still in his eyes Harry said,
"Go on then, explain it to me."
Hermoine, happy that she had someone to tell her newfound theory to, sat on the edge of her chair facing Harry and started to explain it to him…
"Well you see I was thinking about Ron," at this she blushed, and Harry just rose his eyebrow, amused and aware of Hermoines…um… little crush on Ron
Actually, it was huge, and they were both dumb enough not to realise they liked each other, especially Hermoine, couldn't she see that Ron only ran after other girls to make her jealous (and well … he is a teenage boy, he was horny for Pete's sake! Cut the boy some slack!) , how could a girl so smart be such an idiot!' (1) Harry wondered to himself silently, still amused.
"Well…yeah…um," Hermoine cleared her throat, her blush paling to a light pink, "as I was saying, I was thinking about Ron, and then my thoughts wandered on to the other Weasleys and then finally to Mr and Mrs Weasley. Then I started wondering, why did they have so many kids?"
Completely baffled at the course the conservation was going, Harry said the first thing that came into his head.
"Wasn't it because they wanted a girl…?"
But an eager Hermoine, who exclaimed, eyes bright with excitement, cut him off.
"Yes, yes that's what I thought first of all, but then after, what 4 or 5 boys you would have given up, wouldn't you? I don't want to think of the sort pain she went through giving birth to them"
At this he shuddered, and then Hermoine muttered under her breath,
"Some of them I wish she hadn't!"
But in the stillness of the common room, this managed to carry to Harry's ears, and he chuckled, knowing she meant the twins. Last week they had enchanted her quills to only write in bright pink and to give the ink a hideous smell of cheap perfume; much like the one Pansy Parkinson wore.
"Well any way," Hermione continued, "after 4 or 5 boys you would have noticed a trend and given up, right?"
Harry nodded his head, feeling this was the safest thing to do with Hermionein this sort of mood.
"So I thought about it some more and then it came to me, it's a conspiracy! They want to take over the world!"
Harry sat there for a whole 3 minutes, just staring at Hermione before bursting out laughing.
"You…have… got …to…be…kidding"
He wheezed trying to get his breath back, but the mental image of Mr and Mrs Weasley wearing crowns and using Lucius and Draco Malfoy as footrests was too much for him to take and he burst out laughing again. When he could control his breathing, he turned to look at Hermione, he saw the hurt look on her face and sobered immediately, not wanting to hurt her feelings, he said,
"I'm sorry but, Hermione what are you on?"
Hermione just sighed and gave him a look said that he had just been erased from her good books and would have to grovel to get back in them.
"If you would just let me explain! Just hear me out and think about what I'm saying."
She said, still glaring at Harry slightly, she carried on with her explanation when Harry nodded his agreement to hear her out.
"Well, Mr and Mrs Weasley have had 7 children, right, well what if they all get married and had, lets say on average 2 children each, that would be 14 children with Weasley blood in them. Then lets say that they grew up and had 2 children each as well, that would be 28 children with Weasley blood in them, then again lets say that they grew up and had 2 children each, that would be 56 children with Weasley blood, and that's only if they have 2 kids each! It would go on and on and on until the whole Wizarding world was completely full of people with Weasley blood and then it would branch off in to the Muggle world as well, and then… complete world domination Weasley style!!!"
Hermione, panting slightly from her speedy triad, watched Harry waiting for his response. Harry sat there a thoughtful look on his face, going over what Hermione had said. Realisation dawn and he raised shocked eyes to meet Hermiones,
"Your right!"
He exclaimed
"I know," she replied a smug grin on her face, "and you didn't believe me!"
Then a noise at the portrait hole startled them, they looked toward it, curious to whom it was. When they saw it was Ron back from his expedition to the Library, they quickly glanced at each other and then back at Ron, shock and a little fear in there eyes at their newfound knowledge.
"What? What have I done?"
Questioned a bewildered Ron as Harry and Hermoine continued to stare at him. Shrugging his shoulders and thinking about how weird his friends really were, he walked around them and then up the stairs to the dorms, still shaking his head.
The End
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That's it I hope you liked it, the little footnote (1) is just to tell you that this is just like my friend Swick, really smart, but dumb at the same time.
U don't know if this is gonna a one-off, but I was thinking of doing a whole series of them, if you have any ideas, leave a review or email me with them! Thanks!
Anyway… please review, any comments are welcome, and please check out my other stories and review them too please!!!!
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