Hi! This was first posted on the SMRFF Mailing List, as a submission for Mamo Day. As always,
the Sailor Moon concept belongs to Naoko Takeuchi, and English manga rights reside with Mixx.
Thanks for reading!
Lurker 8/09/03
~~
Chiba Mamoru closed his apartment door behind him and resisted the urge to sink onto
the floor right there. Instead, he took two steps toward the kitchen, tossed his jacket over a
chair, and made a mental note to wash it as soon as he had the energy. Then he wandered
into the living room and fell across the couch, not even caring that his shoes were getting the
fabric dirty. At this point, anything could be cleaned.... Later.
He considered briefly the possibility of reaching up to turn the lamp on, reconsidered as he
realized that would involve sitting up, and lay happily with his eyes closed. He could hear the
quiet hiss of the air conditioner and felt a rush of gratitude that the machine worked on auto-
control. At least he didn't have to turn that on himself in order to get cooled off.
Mamoru opened his eyes to study the large terrarium across from the couch. It was filled
with greens and browns - rocks, dirt, branches, and even a small pool of water. He had
worked for hours to create the perfect living environment for Fluffy, his pet snake, and
considered the terrarium nearly a work of art from a man who was, quite often, without talent
in the art department. As such, it was one of his prides.
"You wouldn't believe the day I've had, Fluffy." In a sudden attack of fancy, Mamoru
pretended he had heard the snake answer him. "What's that? You want to know what
happened? Well, I'll tell you. You remember I left here this morning for the hospital, ready to
pick up my paycheck....."
~~
Mamoru walked through the revolving doors at Tokyo General Hospital's front entrance
and made his way through the maze of corridors and elevators to the main desk on 'his' floor.
All around him were white-garbed nurses and doctors bustling back and forth. Mamoru
knew many were intimidated or even frightened by the hospital atmosphere, but to him it had
always had an air of healing and recovery.
He found the proper desk and announced himself to the busy receptionist. She quickly
searched for "Chiba Mamoru, Intern" in her stack of paychecks and handed him the
appropriate envelope between phone calls. Just then, he felt the internal twinge that always
announced Sailor Moon's imminent danger, and the feeling must have shown on his face.
"What's happened, Chiba-san? Is something wrong?" The receptionist covered the
mouthpiece on the telephone to ask.
"No, nothing. I'll just get out of your way now...." He managed before bolting for the
door. The receptionist just shook her head. That Chiba fellow was a nice sort, she thought,
but odd. Every once in a while he would take off like that.... The doctors he was interning
under were planning to have a few words with him about those infrequent disappearances.
Maybe, she thought, she should warn him.
Mamoru made it to the fire escape stairs and rapidly climbed to the hospital's roof,
bemoaning the fact that the building had so many floors but grateful that the reception desk
was nearly half-way up - significantly reducing the climb. Once there, he transformed in a
shower of rose petals, and Tuxedo Kamen took off leaping from rooftop to rooftop courtesy
of the power boost he always got from the transformation.
He followed the twinge in his gut all the way across Tokyo until he reached a small park
on the outskirts of the city. From the looks of the groaning people slowly getting to their feet,
and the quietly smoldering trees nearby, he'd just missed the battle.
"Oh, Tuxedo Kamen! Hello!" Sailor Mars looked up from where she was bent over,
assisting a civilian who'd apparently been hit exceptionally hard by this latest monster. "Just
lay still for a moment," she counseled the woman. "You'll begin to feel better after a little
while."
"Sailor Mars," Tuxedo Kamen nodded in acknowledgement. "What happened?"
"The usual," she sighed, and straightened with a groan. "Wierdly-shaped monster attacks
masses of people, Sailor Moon saves the day. You weren't here, though, which I suppose
would be considered unusual. Did something hold you up?"
"I was all the way across the city. Where's the Odango?" He pronounced the childish
nickname as if it were a title of nobility - which, he reflected, it might well be considered.
Maybe Usagi could go down in the history books of Crystal Tokyo as 'Queen Odango the
First.' He shrugged off the amusing line of thought as Sailor Mars answered him.
"Sailor Moon went home," she informed him. "Something about homework she'd
forgotten? I told her she shouldn't have left it for the last minute, but she's never listened to
me before and I guess she won't start now." Mars gave a long-suffering sigh, but Tuxedo
Kamen knew Rei was nearly as fond of the flighty dumpling-head as he himself was.
"Well, thanks anyway." He took a hard look around the former battlefield. Sailors Venus
and Jupiter were also helping victims to their feet and giving instructions, while Mercury was
selectively using her water attacks to extinguish the few trees that were still burning. "It looks
like you've got it all under control, then. Anything else you'd need me for?"
"Nope, but thanks anyway!" Mars said cheerfully. "I think we've got it."
~~
"And that was that!" Mamoru complained to Fluffy. "They didn't need me for anything.
Just sent me along without so much as a how-do-you-do...."
He cocked his head, 'listening' to the snake's inaudible response. "Huh? No, of course I
didn't expect them to hold the battle until I showed up. That'd be ridiculous! I just - I'm not
used to Usagi fighting without me, and I'm not sure I like it. In fact, I wish she didn't have to
fight at all. If only I knew how to use this blasted crystal...." Mamoru pulled the Golden
Crystal's chain loose from beneath his shirt, and glared at the shiny bauble critically. "What
good is it being heir to the Earth's powers if I can't figure out how to use any of them?"
"For that matter, I don't know if it would be useful against any of these new enemies even
if I could work the blasted thing...." He mused. "We still haven't learned who they are or
what they want, except that they're back to the same old energy drain the Dark Kingdom
used. I'd hoped after Galaxia was defeated that we'd at least have some peace and quiet for
a while.... So much for that." He sighed.
"Anyways, Fluffy, that wasn't the end of my trouble. I knew that Tuxedo Kamen had
attracted some attention, but did you know I have an actual fanclub?" He shuddered at the
memory. "A wild, screaming horde of a fanclub...."
~~
Tuxedo Kamen left the battlefield and walked along the street in deep contemplation. So
deep, in fact, that he failed either to detransform or to take his usual high road along the
nearby buildings' rooftops. Lost in thought, he missed the turnoff of sidewalk that would lead
him home, but caught his mistake a few moments later and turned to go back -
Coming face to face with a crowd of about three hundred schoolgirls that had silently
ammassed behind him on the street. He stared at them in shock, unsure what their purpose
was, and in doing so lost that critical moment of action when he might have gotten away. A
dark-haired girl in the front squealed, "Tuxedo Kamen-sama!" and set the entire horde off.
They all screamed and, as a unit, surged towards him.
Tuxedo Kamen turned tail and ran, forgetting in his terror to make use of the rooftops for
a quick getaway. He stumbled over a trash receptacle, tipping it into the path of the rabid
fangirls, but the obstacle had no effect in holding them off. They flowed around it like a
swarm of insects. He could just barely make out individual voices from the veritable wall of
sound that emanated from them.
"Tuxedo Kamen-sama! Can I have your autograph?"
"Tuxedo Kamen-sama! Throw me a rose!"
"Wait up! We just want to talk to you!"
"I'll do more than talk! Tuxedo Kamen-sama!"
"WAAAAAAAAAH!" Tuxedo Kamen wailed in a voice more reminiscent of his
girlfriend's than his own. He tripped on a crack in the sidewalk and went sprawling, then
rolled over to face the fangirls who advanced on him greedily.
"Hang on, now." He offered. "This is really flattering, but you know I've got a girlfriend
already, ladies, so it really isn't appropriate for AAAUGH!" He yelped as they pounced.
Fifteen minutes later, Tuxedo Kamen finally crawled away from the attack with cape
tattered and hat completely missing. His mask, by some incredible act of fate, was still intact.
The fangirls hadn't seemed to have noticed yet that he was getting away, so he ducked round
a corner and hunted for an alley to detransform in.
"Tuxedo Kamen-san?" He was accosted by a suited figure with wire-rim glasses and a
clipboard.
"I really don't have time for a conversation, if you'll excuse me...." Tuxedo Kamen tried to
edge around the woman. She paid no heed.
"Tuxedo Kamen-san, I represent the Tokyo Gardening Club, and I'm here to serve notice
for suit against you. You are being sued for mistreating roses by using them as weapons, for
misrepresenting the same roses as dangerous and harmful, for frightening away prospective
members through fear of those same roses, and for degrading the good name of gardeners
everywhere." The lawyer pulled a sheet of paper loose from her clipboard and handed it to
the dumbstruck Tuxedo Kamen. "You're expected in court on the fourteenth. Have a nice
day."
~~
"Suing me! Can you believe it?" Mamoru ranted. "I mean, it's not like I *asked* for
roses. Grenades would have suited me just fine, but no. Someone decided it had to be
roses. And now they're suing me!" He paused for Fluffy's 'response.' "Of course I'm not
going. They wouldn't be able to find me, anyway, unless I wanted to." Another pause. "That
was a fluke. She wouldn't have caught me if I hadn't been attacked by all those fangirls...."
He flipped over to lay on his side. "And would you believe, that wasn't the end of it?
When I finally found a place to detransform, a little kid ran over and poured punch down my
back. Now my favorite green jacket is stained, and who knows if I'll be able to get it out
again? Wierd brown patches have sprouted all over the back of it." He gazed sadly into the
kitchen, where his jacket lay across a chair. "I ought to get up and wash it, before the punch
can set...."
Mamoru thought about that idea for several minutes, continuing to tell himself that he really
should get up and find the stain remover. The idea was a very good one, he finally decided,
but not compelling enough to make him actually move.
The telephone ringing, however, was enough to make him move. He pushed himself up
from the couch, grunting as he did so, and reached for the phone on the end table. "Chiba
Mamoru speaking."
"Chiba-san? This is Doctor Okuda from the hospital. I'm sorry to disturb you, but we do
need to have a consultation about your recent behaviors. It seems you've been disappearing
from the hospital during your shifts? This isn't the kind of behavior we expect from our
interns."
Mamoru knew immediately what the doctor was talking about - his rescues of Sailor
Moon. If the senshi could figure out some way to pre-schedule monster attacks, there'd be
no problem, but how could he explain his situation to his superior? Until they tracked down
the hideout of the new enemies, and vanquished the leaders, Mamoru would have to continue
his disappearing acts.
"I'll expect to see you in the morning, Chiba. You've got a very promising career ahead of
you, but not if you can't be more responsible. Goodbye." Doctor Okuda hung up and, after
a moment, Mamoru did too.
He slowly got up from his seat on the couch and walked over to the terrarium. "Did you
hear that, Fluffy? This day just keeps getting worse and worse...." He went to the kitchen,
filled a glass with water, and brought it back to replace the dwindling supply in Fluffy's water
bowl.
"There you go, Fluffy. I hope you weren't thirsty...." Mamoru realized he couldn't see the
little snake anywhere. "Uh.... Fluffy? Are you in there?" He flushed, knowing the snake
couldn't answer him. To cover his embarassment, he pushed aside a few of the branches,
looking for his pet.
"Oh, great!" He groaned and began the tedious task of searching for Fluffy - a process
that usually involved moving furniture and double-checking everything. As he shoved the
desk aside, Mamoru noticed that the small red light on his answering machine was blinking.
"Now what?" He nearly didn't, but finally he made himself push the play button, dreading
what bad news the message would bring.
"Monday, ten thirteen a.m." the machine said in a mechanical voice. A beep followed,
then the cheerful voice of Usagi. Mamoru unconsciously straightened at the sound.
"Hey there, Mamo-chan! Just wanted to say hi.... I stopped by this morning, but you
were already gone."
Mamoru grinned. Hearing Usagi's voice could always cheer him up - she had that joy of
life and love of others that was so contagious, and to him it was like sunlight on a cloudy day.
"By the way," she continued, "Fluffy looked lonely when I was there, so I brought him
home with me. He and Shingo have been playing together. I guess I'll call you later, if you
don't call me. I love you!"
"Monday, two forty-six p.m." the machine said, as if Mamoru needed a reminder of what
time it was. "End of final message."
He felt his earlier weariness drain away at the thought of spending time with his Odango
Atama. It'd been a week since they'd had more than a few minutes at a time to spend
together, and he caught his brain running over ideas for a special date that night. The Italian
restaurant sounded very appealing, and he could probably afford to support Usagi's eating
habits even at their higher dinner prices.
Mamoru pushed the desk back into place and picked up the phone. This day wasn't so
bad after all.
the Sailor Moon concept belongs to Naoko Takeuchi, and English manga rights reside with Mixx.
Thanks for reading!
Lurker 8/09/03
~~
Chiba Mamoru closed his apartment door behind him and resisted the urge to sink onto
the floor right there. Instead, he took two steps toward the kitchen, tossed his jacket over a
chair, and made a mental note to wash it as soon as he had the energy. Then he wandered
into the living room and fell across the couch, not even caring that his shoes were getting the
fabric dirty. At this point, anything could be cleaned.... Later.
He considered briefly the possibility of reaching up to turn the lamp on, reconsidered as he
realized that would involve sitting up, and lay happily with his eyes closed. He could hear the
quiet hiss of the air conditioner and felt a rush of gratitude that the machine worked on auto-
control. At least he didn't have to turn that on himself in order to get cooled off.
Mamoru opened his eyes to study the large terrarium across from the couch. It was filled
with greens and browns - rocks, dirt, branches, and even a small pool of water. He had
worked for hours to create the perfect living environment for Fluffy, his pet snake, and
considered the terrarium nearly a work of art from a man who was, quite often, without talent
in the art department. As such, it was one of his prides.
"You wouldn't believe the day I've had, Fluffy." In a sudden attack of fancy, Mamoru
pretended he had heard the snake answer him. "What's that? You want to know what
happened? Well, I'll tell you. You remember I left here this morning for the hospital, ready to
pick up my paycheck....."
~~
Mamoru walked through the revolving doors at Tokyo General Hospital's front entrance
and made his way through the maze of corridors and elevators to the main desk on 'his' floor.
All around him were white-garbed nurses and doctors bustling back and forth. Mamoru
knew many were intimidated or even frightened by the hospital atmosphere, but to him it had
always had an air of healing and recovery.
He found the proper desk and announced himself to the busy receptionist. She quickly
searched for "Chiba Mamoru, Intern" in her stack of paychecks and handed him the
appropriate envelope between phone calls. Just then, he felt the internal twinge that always
announced Sailor Moon's imminent danger, and the feeling must have shown on his face.
"What's happened, Chiba-san? Is something wrong?" The receptionist covered the
mouthpiece on the telephone to ask.
"No, nothing. I'll just get out of your way now...." He managed before bolting for the
door. The receptionist just shook her head. That Chiba fellow was a nice sort, she thought,
but odd. Every once in a while he would take off like that.... The doctors he was interning
under were planning to have a few words with him about those infrequent disappearances.
Maybe, she thought, she should warn him.
Mamoru made it to the fire escape stairs and rapidly climbed to the hospital's roof,
bemoaning the fact that the building had so many floors but grateful that the reception desk
was nearly half-way up - significantly reducing the climb. Once there, he transformed in a
shower of rose petals, and Tuxedo Kamen took off leaping from rooftop to rooftop courtesy
of the power boost he always got from the transformation.
He followed the twinge in his gut all the way across Tokyo until he reached a small park
on the outskirts of the city. From the looks of the groaning people slowly getting to their feet,
and the quietly smoldering trees nearby, he'd just missed the battle.
"Oh, Tuxedo Kamen! Hello!" Sailor Mars looked up from where she was bent over,
assisting a civilian who'd apparently been hit exceptionally hard by this latest monster. "Just
lay still for a moment," she counseled the woman. "You'll begin to feel better after a little
while."
"Sailor Mars," Tuxedo Kamen nodded in acknowledgement. "What happened?"
"The usual," she sighed, and straightened with a groan. "Wierdly-shaped monster attacks
masses of people, Sailor Moon saves the day. You weren't here, though, which I suppose
would be considered unusual. Did something hold you up?"
"I was all the way across the city. Where's the Odango?" He pronounced the childish
nickname as if it were a title of nobility - which, he reflected, it might well be considered.
Maybe Usagi could go down in the history books of Crystal Tokyo as 'Queen Odango the
First.' He shrugged off the amusing line of thought as Sailor Mars answered him.
"Sailor Moon went home," she informed him. "Something about homework she'd
forgotten? I told her she shouldn't have left it for the last minute, but she's never listened to
me before and I guess she won't start now." Mars gave a long-suffering sigh, but Tuxedo
Kamen knew Rei was nearly as fond of the flighty dumpling-head as he himself was.
"Well, thanks anyway." He took a hard look around the former battlefield. Sailors Venus
and Jupiter were also helping victims to their feet and giving instructions, while Mercury was
selectively using her water attacks to extinguish the few trees that were still burning. "It looks
like you've got it all under control, then. Anything else you'd need me for?"
"Nope, but thanks anyway!" Mars said cheerfully. "I think we've got it."
~~
"And that was that!" Mamoru complained to Fluffy. "They didn't need me for anything.
Just sent me along without so much as a how-do-you-do...."
He cocked his head, 'listening' to the snake's inaudible response. "Huh? No, of course I
didn't expect them to hold the battle until I showed up. That'd be ridiculous! I just - I'm not
used to Usagi fighting without me, and I'm not sure I like it. In fact, I wish she didn't have to
fight at all. If only I knew how to use this blasted crystal...." Mamoru pulled the Golden
Crystal's chain loose from beneath his shirt, and glared at the shiny bauble critically. "What
good is it being heir to the Earth's powers if I can't figure out how to use any of them?"
"For that matter, I don't know if it would be useful against any of these new enemies even
if I could work the blasted thing...." He mused. "We still haven't learned who they are or
what they want, except that they're back to the same old energy drain the Dark Kingdom
used. I'd hoped after Galaxia was defeated that we'd at least have some peace and quiet for
a while.... So much for that." He sighed.
"Anyways, Fluffy, that wasn't the end of my trouble. I knew that Tuxedo Kamen had
attracted some attention, but did you know I have an actual fanclub?" He shuddered at the
memory. "A wild, screaming horde of a fanclub...."
~~
Tuxedo Kamen left the battlefield and walked along the street in deep contemplation. So
deep, in fact, that he failed either to detransform or to take his usual high road along the
nearby buildings' rooftops. Lost in thought, he missed the turnoff of sidewalk that would lead
him home, but caught his mistake a few moments later and turned to go back -
Coming face to face with a crowd of about three hundred schoolgirls that had silently
ammassed behind him on the street. He stared at them in shock, unsure what their purpose
was, and in doing so lost that critical moment of action when he might have gotten away. A
dark-haired girl in the front squealed, "Tuxedo Kamen-sama!" and set the entire horde off.
They all screamed and, as a unit, surged towards him.
Tuxedo Kamen turned tail and ran, forgetting in his terror to make use of the rooftops for
a quick getaway. He stumbled over a trash receptacle, tipping it into the path of the rabid
fangirls, but the obstacle had no effect in holding them off. They flowed around it like a
swarm of insects. He could just barely make out individual voices from the veritable wall of
sound that emanated from them.
"Tuxedo Kamen-sama! Can I have your autograph?"
"Tuxedo Kamen-sama! Throw me a rose!"
"Wait up! We just want to talk to you!"
"I'll do more than talk! Tuxedo Kamen-sama!"
"WAAAAAAAAAH!" Tuxedo Kamen wailed in a voice more reminiscent of his
girlfriend's than his own. He tripped on a crack in the sidewalk and went sprawling, then
rolled over to face the fangirls who advanced on him greedily.
"Hang on, now." He offered. "This is really flattering, but you know I've got a girlfriend
already, ladies, so it really isn't appropriate for AAAUGH!" He yelped as they pounced.
Fifteen minutes later, Tuxedo Kamen finally crawled away from the attack with cape
tattered and hat completely missing. His mask, by some incredible act of fate, was still intact.
The fangirls hadn't seemed to have noticed yet that he was getting away, so he ducked round
a corner and hunted for an alley to detransform in.
"Tuxedo Kamen-san?" He was accosted by a suited figure with wire-rim glasses and a
clipboard.
"I really don't have time for a conversation, if you'll excuse me...." Tuxedo Kamen tried to
edge around the woman. She paid no heed.
"Tuxedo Kamen-san, I represent the Tokyo Gardening Club, and I'm here to serve notice
for suit against you. You are being sued for mistreating roses by using them as weapons, for
misrepresenting the same roses as dangerous and harmful, for frightening away prospective
members through fear of those same roses, and for degrading the good name of gardeners
everywhere." The lawyer pulled a sheet of paper loose from her clipboard and handed it to
the dumbstruck Tuxedo Kamen. "You're expected in court on the fourteenth. Have a nice
day."
~~
"Suing me! Can you believe it?" Mamoru ranted. "I mean, it's not like I *asked* for
roses. Grenades would have suited me just fine, but no. Someone decided it had to be
roses. And now they're suing me!" He paused for Fluffy's 'response.' "Of course I'm not
going. They wouldn't be able to find me, anyway, unless I wanted to." Another pause. "That
was a fluke. She wouldn't have caught me if I hadn't been attacked by all those fangirls...."
He flipped over to lay on his side. "And would you believe, that wasn't the end of it?
When I finally found a place to detransform, a little kid ran over and poured punch down my
back. Now my favorite green jacket is stained, and who knows if I'll be able to get it out
again? Wierd brown patches have sprouted all over the back of it." He gazed sadly into the
kitchen, where his jacket lay across a chair. "I ought to get up and wash it, before the punch
can set...."
Mamoru thought about that idea for several minutes, continuing to tell himself that he really
should get up and find the stain remover. The idea was a very good one, he finally decided,
but not compelling enough to make him actually move.
The telephone ringing, however, was enough to make him move. He pushed himself up
from the couch, grunting as he did so, and reached for the phone on the end table. "Chiba
Mamoru speaking."
"Chiba-san? This is Doctor Okuda from the hospital. I'm sorry to disturb you, but we do
need to have a consultation about your recent behaviors. It seems you've been disappearing
from the hospital during your shifts? This isn't the kind of behavior we expect from our
interns."
Mamoru knew immediately what the doctor was talking about - his rescues of Sailor
Moon. If the senshi could figure out some way to pre-schedule monster attacks, there'd be
no problem, but how could he explain his situation to his superior? Until they tracked down
the hideout of the new enemies, and vanquished the leaders, Mamoru would have to continue
his disappearing acts.
"I'll expect to see you in the morning, Chiba. You've got a very promising career ahead of
you, but not if you can't be more responsible. Goodbye." Doctor Okuda hung up and, after
a moment, Mamoru did too.
He slowly got up from his seat on the couch and walked over to the terrarium. "Did you
hear that, Fluffy? This day just keeps getting worse and worse...." He went to the kitchen,
filled a glass with water, and brought it back to replace the dwindling supply in Fluffy's water
bowl.
"There you go, Fluffy. I hope you weren't thirsty...." Mamoru realized he couldn't see the
little snake anywhere. "Uh.... Fluffy? Are you in there?" He flushed, knowing the snake
couldn't answer him. To cover his embarassment, he pushed aside a few of the branches,
looking for his pet.
"Oh, great!" He groaned and began the tedious task of searching for Fluffy - a process
that usually involved moving furniture and double-checking everything. As he shoved the
desk aside, Mamoru noticed that the small red light on his answering machine was blinking.
"Now what?" He nearly didn't, but finally he made himself push the play button, dreading
what bad news the message would bring.
"Monday, ten thirteen a.m." the machine said in a mechanical voice. A beep followed,
then the cheerful voice of Usagi. Mamoru unconsciously straightened at the sound.
"Hey there, Mamo-chan! Just wanted to say hi.... I stopped by this morning, but you
were already gone."
Mamoru grinned. Hearing Usagi's voice could always cheer him up - she had that joy of
life and love of others that was so contagious, and to him it was like sunlight on a cloudy day.
"By the way," she continued, "Fluffy looked lonely when I was there, so I brought him
home with me. He and Shingo have been playing together. I guess I'll call you later, if you
don't call me. I love you!"
"Monday, two forty-six p.m." the machine said, as if Mamoru needed a reminder of what
time it was. "End of final message."
He felt his earlier weariness drain away at the thought of spending time with his Odango
Atama. It'd been a week since they'd had more than a few minutes at a time to spend
together, and he caught his brain running over ideas for a special date that night. The Italian
restaurant sounded very appealing, and he could probably afford to support Usagi's eating
habits even at their higher dinner prices.
Mamoru pushed the desk back into place and picked up the phone. This day wasn't so
bad after all.