This would not leave me alone until I stayed up way too late to write it down. It kind of sort of works as a prequel to my other story, Dreams, but I can't say for certain that they go together, because I don't know what the next story that won't leave me alone will be about.
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Arcee lay on a berth in the medbay, recovering from her recent injuries. She could hear everything going on around her, but she couldn't move or even open her optics. Earlier, Ratchet had told Jack that she couldn't hear anything, but he insisted on talking to her anyway. She was glad for that - his stories had helped to pass the time.
Now she was alone, and bored. Bulkhead and Bumblebee had taken Jack and the other children home, and remained with them. She couldn't move, and Ratchet hadn't bothered to explain to her why, since he believed she couldn't hear anything. He had left for the night shortly after the children went home, and she was alone with her thoughts.
Or was she? She heard footsteps; someone was trying, and failing, to be quiet as they entered the medbay. A large hand touched hers. She felt it, she realized, but she still couldn't move any part of her body. She hadn't felt anyone touching her earlier in the day, but maybe they just didn't.
The hand wrapped around hers, and she still didn't know who was touching her. Another hand stroked her cheek, and she started to feel a bit violated. Who was touching her when she couldn't do anything about it? Then she heard him whispering into her ears, and she wished he would touch her more.
"Arcee, please, don't leave me. I can't be with you, I can't tell you how I truly feel when you're awake to hear me, but I can't live without the hope of a future with you. I love you. Please, wake up soon."
Arcee tried with all her might to open her optics, to wiggle her fingers, anything, but she couldn't get her body to cooperate. Optimus sounded so sad, so broken; She'd never seen...heard...him that way before. His confession shocked her, but she had felt the same way for a very long time. And now, the perfect time to tell him, and she couldn't even open her optics.
She was focusing so hard on her optics and her fingers, she almost missed his kiss. He pressed a gentle, brief kiss to her lips and then touched his forehead to hers. He whispered again, "please don't leave me," then left the room as quietly as he had entered. Arcee was again alone with her thoughts, but those thoughts were much less boring now, as she drifted off to sleep peacefully.
Arcee awoke when Ratchet entered the medbay the next morning. She immediately tried moving her hands and opening her optics again, and found that she could do both. She tried her vocal processor again, and managed to hoarsely say "Ratchet."
"Welcome back to the land of the living" Ratchet said as he checked her monitors. "Are you in any pain?" She shook her head no, so he continued "Can you move anything else?" She wiggled her fingers, but nothing else would move.
"Give it time, you're still recovering. You were out all day yesterday. You're going to be just fine, eventually" Ratchet finished checking her monitors as Bulkhead and Bumblebee arrived back at the base with the children. Jack immediately came in to check on her.
"Hey partner"
"You're awake!" Jack exclaimed happily as he climbed up next to her. "I was worried. We all were."
"Ratchet says I'm going to be ok. Thank you for talking to me yesterday. I could hear you, despite what he said, and it helped to get me through the day."
"You're welcome. I'm glad I didn't listen to Ratchet! So, what would you like to talk about today?"
"Tell me more about…"
Jack spent the day keeping her mind occupied, and Miko & Raf eventually joined him. They talked all day, as Arcee slowly regained mobility in her limbs. By the time the children left for home, she was sitting up on the berth and hoping Ratchet would let her go to her own quarters for the evening. She also really wanted to talk to Optimus, but she hadn't seen him all day.
"Ratchet, please let me sleep in my own quarters tonight."
"Tomorrow night. Maybe by tomorrow morning. But tonight, I still need to get these readings. And parts of your body are still numb. Another day of rest should get you back to normal."
Arcee sighed and lay back down. "Ok, but I'm going to hold you to that. Goodnight, Ratchet."
"Goodnight, Arcee"
Arcee wondered if Optimus would visit tonight, like he did last night. She wondered if she had dreamed it. And she wondered what she would do if he did come - should she open her optics and tell him she felt the same? Would that scare him away? He said that they couldn't be together now - could she get him to change his mind? Or were things destined to be awkward between them until the war was over and they were free to be together? She was still conflicted when she heard soft footsteps that she now recognized as his, and suddenly realized that she didn't know if he knew she was awake today. She hadn't seen him, but surely he had asked Ratchet how she was doing during the day.
He must have, because he didn't touch her this time. He stood close to her berth, but he didn't whisper in her ears, and he didn't kiss her. She wanted him to kiss her again. She could feel him watching her. She gathered her courage, and opened her optics.
Arcee had never seen such emotions on his face before. In the seconds before he realized that she was awake, she saw love, longing, and overwhelming sadness. Then he noticed that she was looking at him, and his face became unreadable, as usual. "Are you recovering well?" he asked to break the silence that had stretched for too long.
"Yes." What should she say? How could she ask him about his feelings? She was growing more certain by the second that she had dreamt his visit the night before. But the look on his face, before he realized she was awake….
"I'll leave you to rest then." He was leaving.
"Optimus, wait…" She sat up on the berth. "Last night, did you visit me? I don't know if I was dreaming, but it felt so real, and I wanted it to be real, but I couldn't open my optics or even wiggle my fingers." She was babbling now. She stopped, then asked again "Did you visit me last night?"
Optimus closed his optics for a few seconds, searching for the words he needed to say. But when he looked back into her optics, he couldn't bring himself to lie to her. "You were not dreaming, Arcee." He enclosed her hand in one of his, and stroked her cheek with the other, just as he had the previous night. "I didn't know that you could hear me. I wouldn't have said anything out loud if I had. It's not fair to you. I can't have a relationship with you, no matter how much I want to." He needed to move away from her, but his feet wouldn't obey his commands.
"Why not?" she asked
"The council forbids it."
"The council that disbanded on the day they chose you as Prime? How many members do you suppose are still alive?"
"The matrix doesn't allow me to have feelings-"
"But it let you fall in love with me" she interrupted him. "If it won't allow it, then why do you feel this way now?"
He was silent. Thinking. She decided to take the chance. She touched his face, just as he had touched hers, and whispered "Optimus, I love you." He closed his optics and leaned into her hand. Her touch was warm, soft, loving. It had been so long since he had been touched that way. He had had no idea that she could hear him, when he visited her the previous night, but now he was happy that she did. He made his decision, and looked back into her optics. She was amazed at the depth of the feelings she could see on his face.
"I love you, Arcee" He kissed her gently and pulled her into an embrace. She melted into his arms, a smile on her face.
"What happens now?"
"Let's talk tomorrow. You are under doctor's orders to rest tonight." He didn't release her right away though. Instead he kissed her again, longer this time.
"And tomorrow, you won't tell me that I dreamed this?"
"I won't. I promise. Goodnight, Arcee"
"Goodnight, Optimus." One last lingering kiss, and he left her alone in the medbay. She laid down with a smile on her face, and dreamed of what the future held for them.
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I hope you enjoyed this story. And I hope it'll leave me alone now!