"You sure you wanna come with me tonight? I don't want you to be uncomfortable." Your friend Jenna asks earnestly.
"I'm sure, I haven't seen one of their shows since I was with Josh, and you're always asking if I wanna go." You respond to her, unable to read the look on her face.
"Well, you're my best friend and I'm dating the singer… so yeah, I tend to ask you first, even though this the first time you've said yes since you broke up in, what, December of 2012?" She laughs.
"I'll be fine Jenna, you and Tyler are two of my favorite people. I'm not gonna let my previous relationship with Josh get in the way of hanging out with my friends anymore."
"I'll support you in whatever you decide. You know that. Plus, you got to look bomb tonight if you're gonna go." She giggles, taking your hand and dragging you up the stairs.
"Believe me Jenna, with all this success the boys have found, I'm gonna be the last thing on his mind." You laugh, following Jenna into her bedroom.
"Oh, sweetie, you don't even know the half. And don't think about asking, because I'm not spilling the beans. You'll just have to come along tonight." She smirks, guiding you to sit in the chair in front of her vanity.
You decide to appease your friend and let her get you ready for the evening. A few hours later, you take a step back from the mirror and look at yourself. She really knows what she's doing. Your hair was painstakingly curled and your makeup looks better than it ever had before. She threw an old 'Regional At Best' shirt at you that she had cut the collar off of in favor of the plain back tank top you had come over in. You left on your black skinny jeans and red vans and stood in front of her as she surveyed her work.
"Well?" You ask, staring at your feet.
"Perfect. That shirt is yours, you know." She grins, grabbing her bag and motioning for you to follow her down the stairs.
You grab her arm before she's able to leave the room. "Excuse me?" You ask, the stress and surprise your voice are sure to be evident.
"Yeah, remember when you guys broke up, you brought over all of the band merch you had and just told me to do something with it. Well, I did. I kept what I wanted. Gave away a little bit, and kept that shirt for you, just in case." She answers you, staring at you intently, her blue eyes burning right through you.
"Jenna, that's fucking weird." You mutter, staring down at your shoes yet again.
"No, it's not. I knew you wouldn't have anything to wear if you ever decided to go to a gig again."
"Jenna, did you see what's written on the inside of this shirt in fucking silver sharpie? You know, under the arm where no one would be able to tell it was there?" You mutter, goosebumps spreading over your body.
"Yes." She states, her nonchalantness infuriating you.
"I can't believe I didn't fucking realize this when I put it on!" You practically shout, your anger threatening to get the best of you.
"Will you calm down? It's a shirt. Josh won't even realize it's the same shirt." She scoffs at you.
"Believe me, that boy doesn't forget." You mutter.
"I never even read what it says, I just noticed there was some marks on the inside of the shirt." She glares at you.
You yank the shirt over your head, flipping it inside out and showing her the note on the inside.
You've always believed in me. I love you.-J
"Do you see this shit Jenna?" Your voice threatens to crack.
"Yes. And I'm not surprised. Just wear the shirt okay?" Her tone becoming more affirmative.
"I'm so fucking livid right now, but we're going to be so fucking late to the show." You mutter, swooping up your bag off the floor and heading towards the door.
"I'm not going to apologize, and maybe, just maybe you'll get why at some point." She turns to look at you as you both head for the front door.
You shake your head and follow her out.
In the car on the way to the venue, you didn't say much, instead thinking about your prior relationship with Josh. You had dated for almost two years, around the time 'Regional At Best' was being recorded and right after it came out. It was the best relationship you've ever had but you didn't dare tell Josh that, you hadn't even told Jenna. Your relationship with Josh was what brought you and Jenna together and made you best friends, and luckily, the break-up didn't ruin that. It certainly made things difficult though, as you really loved hanging out with her and Tyler but it was almost impossible since he and Josh were joined at the hip.
You weren't exactly sure what happened between you and Josh. The breakup was mutual, but gut wrenching. His reasoning was 'the unknown'. Josh had always been afraid of the 'what ifs'. When it came down it, his reasons should have made you a lot angrier than they did. The reasons ranged from, 'What if the band gets big?' 'What if we never see each other?' to 'What if you get feelings for someone else while I'm not home.'. While his concerns were valid, you never should have agreed to it.
You loved him more than you had loved any one person or thing before. You were the girl that was so desperate to do whatever you could to make him happy that you basically just laid down and agreed with him. He was a genuinely good person and you were determined not to be the reason he felt held back. So, you let him go. And to this day, it was probably one of the worst decisions you've ever made. You'd had a handful of unsuccessful relationships after Josh, until it got to the point where you remained single for the sheer fact that every man you dated wasn't good enough compared to him. You felt completely pathetic for still feeling that way, all these years later. But, the only way you learned to cope with it was by completely ridding your life of him. However, for some reason, you decided to go to a show again after almost four years of doing all right, and you knew you were going to regret it. But, here you are, in Jenna's car on the way to the venue.
After fifteen minutes, you pull into the venue for the evening, a tiny underground place, that the boys liked to surprise people by playing at occasionally, according to Jenna. Once she parks the car, you both exit, and head towards the back of the venue. You take a deep breath as she opens the door, only to be greeted by Tyler sporting a giant grin.