THE BUTT OF DESTRUCTION!

Hey GUYZ! It's Princess Ruthella and I know the title sounds so WERID o-O but have you ever noticed Jane's mom butt is abnormally HUGE lol, so my little sister and I used to joke around that she would be hitting people with her butt all the time (by accident of course ;P) Well its short so enjoy!

"Gunther you won't beat me this time," Jane scowled holding her practice sword ready to strike at any given moment.

"HAHAHA, that's what you said those other twenty-two times, seriously are you okay? You seem a bit off today. I know you are pretty awful at fighting, but even you aren't normally this bad!"

Jane started to rub her waist that was bruised by a recent encounter with her mother. "Ummmm…actually it's kind of a long story" a quite embarrassing one at that, she thought.

"Try me frog rider," Gunther smirked as he took her hand and lead her to pile of hay to sit on (soooo comfy XD).

"Well…" she hesitantly replied, "last night I was getting ready for bed and I went outside to get some fresh air and I didn't know my mom was there and she smashed against me with her BUTT", she exasperated!

Gunther gave her a disturb look. "You mean to tell me, pig breath, that all it took was your mom's butt," his face starting reddening ,"to make you less efficient in battle!" He let out a snort.

"YES… but you don't understand that thing is HUGE!" Too huge for that matter, "it's not funny beef brain," she crossed her arms defensively.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA," tears started streaming down his sunburned face. "Why does this kingdom need knights when your mother is all the protection we need!?" He got up and started acting like her mother and sticking out his bottom shaking it from side to side. "Oh I'm sorry did I hit you?" "Oh pardon me a heavy load coming in...HAHAHA" he hooted.

"Gunther that isn't funny" she shot up and slapped him in the face knocking him down into the hay.

"HEY…" he yelped "It was only a joke nettle brain, geez!"

"Well MAGGOT don't do that again or …I'll have Dragon roast you alive!" she declared.

He started to sit straighter and put his hands in his lap. "Okay whatever…"

"Jane dear, I have something very important to inform you! You didn't let me finish telling you last night" Jane's mom hollered briskly jogging toward them. "Opps… I dropped my quill" She reach down to get it in a quick swift and while getting back up she hit Gunther with her derriere (butt in French :P) and knocked him out.

"MOM! You just knocked Gunther out!" Jane proclaimed wide-eyed in shock as she scooted away out of range of her mother powerful "weapon."

"Oh I'm very sorry about that dear, but I have very urgent news!" she persisted.

"Well I'm sorry, but you can tell me later. Please can you get me a bucket of water!"

"Okay dear…" she sadly replied leaving them to get what Jane requested of her.

"Gunther are you okay? Please answer me!" Her eyes began to water could this be the end of her favorite frenemy? She brushed her fingers through his ebony locks, gazing at his peaceful face that was thwarted by the evilest weapon of all. "Oh my poor…poor Gunther" She sighed and kissed his cheek.

"I got the water!" Jester sang waddling towards them alongside lady-in-waiting. "Ohh…" he said as he saw Jane kiss Gunther. His face started to scrunched up and he lifted the bucket and poured it contents on the peaceful victim.

"AUGHHHHHH…what happened!?" Gunther jolted up "Oww my head was there a battle!"

She let out a chuckle "No silly, my mom's butt happened!"

Gunther started to feel embarrassed. He stood up and dusted himself off and acted like a sophisticated noble and proclaimed, "Well I have knightly duties to attend to…later Jane." He bowed and then rapidly walked away.

Jane waved "Goodbye Gunther…" then she directed her attention towards her mom and friend "good thing that biscuit weevil is okay!"

"Jane we need to talk, alone" Jester said urgently.

"BUT DEAR! I've been waiting for hours" her mom cried.

"Sorry mom, but Jester seems really distressed and you know how I'm a knight saving damsels in distress and all" She winked.

"BUT I'M IN DISTRESS!" her mother whined. But alas it was too late Jane already grab Jester's hand leading him towards the highest tower in the castle so they could have some privacy.

(^_^)

"What is it Jester?" Jane asked her eyes glowing.

"Jane umm..." he started to stir uncomfortably. "Do you like Gunther?"

Jane appeared baffled "WHAT?! Where in Heaven's name would you get an idea like that?!"

"Well, when Gunther was unconscious, you kissed him!" he retorted.

"JANE! I DON'T CARE WHAT JESTER IS PESTERING YOU ABOUT, I HAVE VERY IMPORTANT NEWS TO TELL YOU AND I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER!" Jane's mother shrieked

"FINE, tell me!" Jane snapped annoyed by her mother persistence.

"OHHHH okay…well there is going to be a ball in your honor of becoming an official knight!" She squealed.

Jane face palmed herself "ARE YOU SERIOUS, THAT'S THE 'IMPORTANT NEWS!?'"

"Well… that's part of it, the royal seamstress is going to make you a gown and I was wondering if you wanted it in red or green? I even have samples…Oh dear I dropped them." She said reaching down to pick them up.

"Mom I'll help you…"

"Oh no it's really not a bother I got it," but as she picked up the silks she accidently hit Jane with her ENOURMOUS behind causing her daughter to trip and fall off the steep tower.

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Jane screamed.

The lady-in-waiting and Jester stood there in utter horror. Then Jester ran to the side of the tower and yelled "JANE DON'T GO, DO NOT GOOOOOOOO" (quote from the Jane and the Dragon episode "The Offer").

But alas his cries were of no use. Jane died that day her body was severed by falling 66 feet. The moral of story is never get butt-injections. They could be difference between life and death.

HAHAHAHAH…well that was kind of fun writing while listening to Michael Buble and Disney and Spirit songs LOL HOOORAY FOR RANDOM LESSONS :DDDDD TTFN!