Santana sits, nervously, in the bright hospital room with a frown etched on her face. Her legs and hands are trembling uncontrollably and she unconsciously wrings her wrists, hoping to distract herself from the sickly feeling in the pit of her stomach. After reading the tenth negative pregnancy test a few nights ago, her husband had demanded that they see a doctor immediately to figure out the problem. They've been trying to get pregnant for almost a year, and after several failed attempts and heartache, Santana's had enough.
"Mrs. Harrison, I have your results. Sorry for the unnecessary wait, our office has been crazy busy today."
Santana looks up at the doctor and sits up straighter, tucking her trembling hands underneath her thighs. She glances to her right, where her husband is sitting, equally impatient, and releases a small sigh. "It's fine, can you please just explain to us what is going on?" Santana asks quickly. "Why am I not getting pregnant? We've been trying for months."
Dr. Murray gives the couple a sympathetic smile, before taking a seat on the small stool next to the hospital bed. She opens the folder in her hands and shuffles through the documents.
Santana frowns when the woman abruptly stops and locks eyes with her. "Mrs. Harrison, I am so sorry," Dr. Murray begins, her eyes darting back to the documents. Santana feels her stomach constrict painfully. "The reason behind your failed attempts in conceiving a child is related back to your fertility rates. Were you aware of how low they are?"
Santana quickly shakes her head no, and thinks back to her last doctor's appointment. She furrows her brows when she realizes he hadn't brought it up. "I had no idea." She whispers out.
Dr. Murray frowns, but nods. "This isn't something you can necessarily control. Reading your information now, it seems that you were born with infertile eggs. How has this gone unnoticed for so long?" She asks softly.
"Yeah, Santana, how?" Daniel snaps. "How the hell have you not known about this? You've been visiting doctors for over a year."
"Dammit, I don't know. You can't blame me for them not saying a damn word about my fertility, Daniel. Please don't be an ass right now." Santana hisses, her own eyes filling with unshed tears. She then exhales shakily and blinks quickly, before angling her body to face Dr. Murray again.
"It isn't Mrs. Harrison's fault," Dr. Murray quickly chimes in. "If her appointment wasn't solely focused on pregnancy or looking into her fertility rates, then there is a possibility that it could have been over looked, if looked into at all." She explains. "If you are still wanting a child, I would recommend fertility treatments, but they can be quite draining, both emotionally and physically. Of course there's always adoption or surrogacy—"
"We've heard enough." Daniel says harshly. Santana would roll her eyes at his behavior, but she's too upset to think straight. "Let's go, Santana."
Dr. Murray can do nothing more than sit back and watch the two with a solemn expression. She offers Santana her charts, showing her fertility rates— but Santana politely declines as she silently follows Daniel out of the room, her face burning with shame.
"Can we stop by McDonald's?" Santana asks softly once they were back in the car. She has her head leaned against the cool window and her eyes are closed. "I've been wanting a burger all day, and it's the closest food place to our house."
Daniel nods. "Sure, babe. There's a Burger King down the road, do you want that instead?" He glances to his right when Santana doesn't respond, and frowns when he notices her body shaking slightly. "Santana? What's wrong?"
Santana shakes her head and curls further into herself. She isn't sure how he can be so oblivious sometimes. "Just take me home, please." She sniffles.
"What about your burger?" Daniel asks softly, resting his hand on his wife's thigh. "I thought you were hungry, honey?"
"Forget about the damn burger." Santana snaps angrily. "I just want to go home, for fuck's sake. Is that too much to ask?"
Daniel doesn't look at all taken aback by Santana's outburst, and instead nods, before pulling out of the parking spot slowly. He looks at Santana briefly, but doesn't utter a word.
Santana silently cries against the window.
Around eleven, Santana burrows herself further under the covers when Daniel finally emerges from his hour long shower. She squeezes her eyes shut and clings to her pillow a little tighter when he slips into bed behind her.
"Babe?" Daniel murmurs, gently placing his hand on Santana's back to avoid startling her. She had been jumpy the remainder of the evening after the doctor's visit, and he didn't want a repeat of the incident that occurred earlier. "Are you awake?"
Santana tenses under his touch and attempts to even out her breathing, hoping he'll buy her act. Daniel sighs after several moments of silence, and reluctantly pulls his hand back. "I know you're not asleep." He sighs, his tone hinting slight irritation. "And you're not the only one that is upset, Santana. This effects me too, you know."
"Whatever." Santana grumbles into her pillow, wanting to do nothing more than sleep. "Good night."
"No, not good night. We need to talk about this." Daniel says sharply. Santana sighs as her husband pulls back the covers, and waits patiently for her to sit up straight. When she does, he scoots closer, most likely in an attempt to make her feel better— but it only makes her feel worse. "Remember what Dr. Murray suggested earlier?"
"I'm not doing fertility treatments." Santana says quickly and shakes her head. "I'm through with this sick game we're playing. I'm not putting myself through this shit when the chances of me getting pregnant are slim to none." She looks blankly out the window and rests her hands in her lap. "It hurts too much, and I'm tired, Daniel. I'm sorry."
Santana doesn't bother looking at her husband to gauge his reaction, because she's sure he's disappointed with her answer. What's surprising, though, is when two strong arms wrap around her waist and pull her in for a tight hug. Her and Daniel rarely hugged just because, so this was a bit of a shock.
"It's okay, babe. I would never ask you to something that you weren't completely comfortable with." Daniel whispers into Santana's ear. He drops a kiss to her hairline and Santana sighs, unfamiliar with this type of affection. "There were two other options, though, that we could always consider."
Santana's silent for a moment, before saying, "Adoption or surrogacy? I wouldn't think either of those would interest you."
"They didn't at first." Daniel admits, "I did more research on both, though, and I talked to my mother over the phone. Realistically speaking, I think the most ideal situation for us would be surrogacy."
Santana's face twists in confusion. "Why?"
"I've always wanted a child that comes from both me and you, Santana. With both of our features and personality, you know?" Daniel smiles faintly at the thought. "Finding a healthy, smart, and attractive woman to be our surrogate could make that a possibility."
"I don't know about that," Santana sighs, not completely convinced with the idea of someone else carrying their child. "What if the woman goes bat shit crazy and puts the baby in danger?" She frowns. "There's not a way to do it anonymously, is there?"
Daniel releases his hold on Santana and leans back against the headboard. He rubs his temples slowly and sighs. "I don't know, babe, but I would prefer to meet the woman and keep tabs on her. Maybe offer her help if she needs it, this is our baby's life in her hands, after all."
"That's why I'm not completely comfortable with the idea. I don't like that I'm not in control of the situation." Santana shakes her head. "I'll have to think about this, Daniel."
Daniel nods in understanding and kisses Santana's cheek, before flicking off the lamp on the bedside table. "Take all the time you need, love."
A week later, Santana sits at the kitchen island with her laptop in front of her and a cup of coffee in her hand. She scrolls through the different pages and links she's pulled up related to surrogacy— and worries her bottom lip between her teeth as she reads the information. After an hour of doing this, Santana closes her laptop and grabs her cell phone off of the counter. She dials her best friend's number, leaning against the wall as she waits for her to pick up.
"Well hello stranger, why has it been so long since I've heard from you?" Quinn teases.
"There's been a lot going on, Q," Santana sighs, hoping she doesn't sound as sad as she's been over the past few days. "But I am sorry I've been ignoring your calls and texts, that was kind of bitchy of me."
"You're always bitchy." Quinn laughs, before her tone turns serious. "What kind of things have been going on? Everything ok with Daniel?"
"We're fine."
"Just fine?" Santana can hear the concern in Quinn's tone, and she smiles a small smile, thankful her and the blonde have remained friends all these years. "Has something been going on?" Quinn then asks. "Are you two still trying to get pregnant?"
Santana winces. "No, not really." She replies quietly.
"Why?" Quinn's voice is soft and gentle, like she knows it's what Santana needs at that moment.
"I," Santana swallows thickly and runs her fingers through her hair, fighting back tears. "I can't get pregnant, Q." She says softly, and bites back a sob when she hears Quinn gasp.
"Santana, babe, I am so sorry." Quinn manages to stutter out. "I, um, is there anything I can do? Do you want me to come over? Because I can—"
Santana laughs through her tears and shakes her head. "Quinn, you live five hours away. You don't have to come down here for this."
"Are you kidding? I'm packing right now."
Santana thinks she's joking, until she hears her friend shuffling around and muffled noises from the other line. "Wait, are you serious?" Santana asks, but doesn't stop the smile from stretching across her face.
"Of course I'm serious, you think I'm going to let you deal with this alone?" Quinn scoffs. "I'll be there by three so make sure you have lunch ready, alright San?"
Santana frowns. "How do you know Daniel isn't here?"
"Because I saw his Facebook post earlier, he's in Berlin." Quinn states, and Santana can hear the edge in her tone.
"Only because I told him to go, Q. He wanted to stay, but I told him to go. Our lives shouldn't stop because of this."
"You're right, yeah, I'm sorry." Quinn quickly apologizes. "I just hate the idea of you in that big house all alone."
Santana smiles. "Well you're coming, right? Then I won't be alone."
"That is true."
"Oh, Quinn, there's actually something I wanted to ask you." Santana says, remembering the main reason she called Quinn in the first place.
"Okay, go for it."
Santana pauses, twirling the diamond necklace Daniel bought her on their second wedding anniversary around her finger. "How do you feel about surrogacy?"
Two months later
"Don't be nervous babe, I've met her before and I can honestly say she seems like the perfect fit." Daniel smiles and wraps his arms around Santana's waist as she sets the table. "But of course we won't settle on anything official until you approve of her."
"Thank you." Santana replies softly. Daniel removes his arms and Santana smooths down her dress, triple checking her appearance in the mirror hanging on the wall. "When did you say she was coming?"
"Eight o'clock on the dot." Daniel smiles. "Thank you for being open minded about this entire thing, I know it wasn't exactly your first choice."
"I do prefer this over adoption though," Santana admits. "At least we can still connect with the baby while they're in the womb, even if it won't be mine." She sighs, her eyes drifting to the floor.
"This doesn't make you any less of our baby's mother, ok?" Santana nods wearily. "Good, now get the door please, I think I heard a car pull up."
Santana nods and makes her way to the front, right as the doorbell rings. She briefly peers out the large window to make sure it was their guest, and plasters a faux smile on her face as she opens the door.
The tall blonde smiles and gives Santana a small wave. "Hi, you must be Santana?" She asks, sounding genuinely nice.
Santana laughs a little and opens the door wider. "Yes I am, so you must be Brittany." She steps aside. "Please, come in."