The situation tense; pilots, co-pilots and the assorted chefs all manned a X-Wing or Y-Wing or whatever the hell the fly-ey vehicles are in this movie. Their plan: Blow up the freakin' Death Star. They all flew towards it.

On the Death Star itself stood Tarkin dude, watching the monitor... a Jawa porno was on the screen. An officer walked up behind him and he quickly switched back to watching the Death Star's progress.

"We've analyzed their attack, sir, and there is a danger. Should I have your ship standing by?"

Tarkin stuttered for a second. "Um...no, no. I'm good, thanks, I want to watch this...the progress. 'Cause that's what I'm watching." He stared at the officer nervously, wondering if he'd been caught. "The Prog-"

"Got it, sir."

"Good." Tarkin resumed staring at the screen as the officer walked away.

The officer rounded the corner and met up with his friend. "He's a bigger perv than the Emperor..."

Meanwhile, back with our heroes... the red leaders all checked in: Red Two, Red Three, Red Four, Big Red, Ugly Red, Redhead and even Redd Foxx. They zoomed in closer and closer, and just when they were about to infiltrate...

A '60s looking train flew in from out of nowhere and ran right through the heart of the Death Star and emerged out the other side.

Inside of the station, alarms were going crazy. Tarkin watched as things went critical. A voice on the speakers began to...speak. "Imminent doom approaching in 1 minute. If you haven't already crapped your pants in fear, do so now. Thank you and have a nice day!" There was a click, but the speakers didn't turn off all the way. "OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE, OH MOMMA!" Then followed by tears and silence...

Tarkin looked around and decided to go to the available ships. "One left..." He said as he went to the door of Vader's ship. But Vader quickly ran in and pushed him out of the way.

"Don't think so, biatch!" Vader hopped into the cockpit and blasted off...INTO SPACE! Vader watched as the train sailed around the kersploding Death Star. "Well, this was unexpected, but nevertheless, I shall return in the next movie! But who did this..."

Suddenly there was a clicking noise in Vader's suit and a voice emerged from it. "I am Iron Man, and that was all me, yeah." Sure enough, from out of the train window was Iron Man in a conductor's hat, laughing. "Oh yeah, I also hacked into your suit. Look what I can do!" Darth Vader's hand began to start slapping his face. "Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Ahhh...the classics."

"You do not know the strength of the force." Vader spouted out in between hits. "If you do not stop I will-" Harder slap. "I will-" An even harder slap. "I'll-" One more! "DAMN IT TO HELL MAN, STOP!" Vader sat there perfectly still for a minute, seemingly back in control. Then another slap...followed by a massive scream of anger as he flew off deeper into space.

Iron Man, in his train, sat down his little remote control he used to control Vader with and chuckled. "Dark side my ass, who needs the force when you got the BOOZE!" He pulled out a bottle of liquor and blew the train's horn as the Death Star's remains all but scattered.