The Masochism Tango
~Chibi Washuu
I did NOT make this song up… it is an actual song by Tom Lehrer. But it fits Xellos so well…
Xellos: I ache for the touch of your lips, dear…
Filia: Keep wishing, Namagomi. AND DON'T CALL ME 'DEAR!'
Xellos: But much more for the touch of your whips, dear.
Filia: Eh? o.O
Xellos: You can raise welts, like nobody else…
Filia: Sick Namagomi…
Xellos: As we dance to the Masochism Tango! *grabs her, pulling her across the floor*
Filia: *screams* UNHAND ME THIS INSTANT!
Xellos: Let our love be a flame, not an ember…
Filia: What love?
Xellos: Say it's me that you want to dismember.
Filia: Absolutely.
Xellos: Blacken my eye…
Filia: I'll blacken your eye, all right… *pulls out mace*
Xellos: Set fire to my tie…
Filia: I'll set fire to more than that! LASER BREATH!
Xellos: As we dance to the Masochism Tango!
Filia: *growls*
Xellos: At your command, before you here I stand,
Filia: Now just hold still… *swings her mace*
Xellos: *ducks* My heart is in my hand...
Filia: What heart? You don't have a heart!
Xellos: It's here that I must be.
Filia: Why me?
Xellos: My heart entreats,
Filia: YOU DON'T HAVE A HEART!
Xellos: Just hear those savage beats,
Filia: o.O
Xellos: And go put on your cleats… *hands her a pair of cleats* ^__^
Filia: o.O( )
Xellos: And come and trample me...
Filia: *screams and throws the spiked shoes at him*
Xellos: Your heart is hard as stone or mahogany,
Filia: *twitch*
Xellos: That's why I'm in such exquisite agony.
Filia: Fruitcake!
Xellos: My soul is on fire; it's aflame with desire,
Filia: *twitch* *twitch*
Xellos: Which is why I perspire when we tango!
Filia: Filthy Namagomi!
Xellos: You caught my nose in your left castanet, love,
Filia: *throws the castanets that have mysteriously appeared in her hands at him* DON'T CALL ME 'LOVE' EITHER!
Xellos: I can feel the pain yet, love, every time I hear drums...
Filia: *destroys every drum in the room*
Xellos: And I envy the rose that you held in your teeth, love…
Filia: *spits out the rose that suddenly appears in her mouth* STOP CALLING ME THAT!
Xellos: With the thorns underneath, love, sticking into your gums...
Filia: Owie… *holds a hand to her mouth*
Xellos: Your eyes cast a spell that bewitches,
Filia: *glares*
Xellos: The last time I needed twenty stitches
Filia: You'll need more than that when I get through with you…
Xellos: To sew up the gash you made with your lash…
Filia: WHAT LASH? I'LL SHOW YOU A LASH! *pulls out her mace again*
Xellos: As we danced to the Masochism Tango! *pulls her across the floor again*
Filia: DON'T TOUCH ME!
Xellos: Bash in my brain,
Filia: *swings her mace*
Xellos: And make me scream with pain,
Filia: HOLD STILL, NAMAGOMI!
Xellos: Then kick me once again,
Filia: *kicks him viciously*
Xellos: And say we'll never part.
Filia: *screams*
Xellos: I know too well I'm underneath your spell,
Filia: Too bad it's not a DEATH spell…
Xellos: So, darling, if you smell something burning, it's my heart...
Filia: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS! YOU DON'T HAVE A HEART, YOU HEARTLESS NAMAGOMI!
Xellos: Take your cigarette from its holder,
Filia: I don't smoke, stupid Namagomi! Unlike your superior…
Xellos: And burn your initials in my shoulder,
Filia: NANI? o.O
Xellos: Fracture my spine,
Filia: GLADLY! *swings mace at Xellos*
Xellos: And swear that you're mine,
Filia: NO!
Xellos: As we dance to the Maso-
Filia: *pounds Xellos with her mace*
Xellos: -chism Tango! ^__^
Filia: *screams and smashes Xellos into a wall*