Disclaimer: The quotes are from Shadow Days by John Mayer. Total Bade song. Dan owns every little shit in this.


(.x.)

How to Get a Girl and How to Lose Her

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"Well I ain't no trouble maker
And I never meant her harm
But it doesn't mean I didn't make it
hard to carry on"

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"How do you get a girl to like you?" Robbie asked absent mindedly. Right now, Mrs. Higgins had left class declaring she had some sort of family emergency so the class had the rest of the period free, which was a good thing because nobody really liked Biology that much. Robbie only had Beck in this class, everyone else somehow ended up in Math across the hall. Robbie didn't mind though, aside from Cat, Robbie was sure Beck was his only real friend.

"Just be yourself," Beck shrugged lamely and then spun around in his seat to meet his awkward friend's eyes. "Everything will work out in the end."

"Everything didn't work out with you and Jade." Robbie mumbled and pushed his glasses up his nose bridge hesitantly; he didn't want to upset Beck, he was his only friend after all.

Beck didn't respond, but merely heaved a heavy sigh and ran a hand through his head of hair. He got the faraway look in his eyes; the one he usually got when anyone brought up Jade and…maybe Robbie shouldn't have brought it up.

"You two were kind of perfect." Robbie spoke again.

"You used the past tense," Beck murmured, "As if you think we'll never get back together."

Once a week, Beck always gave Robbie advice on how to score the girl of his dreams. They never told anyone, because Robbie didn't want any more people making fun of him and he knew Beck would shy away from giving him more advice if word got out and Robbie really needed his advice. It had been more than a month, but Robbie had acquired advice by the truckloads. Sometimes, Beck would give him an entire speech and other times, Beck would answer a question or two before he got irritated.

Robbie noticed, that Beck was always irritated when Jade was happy and while Robbie didn't like to see his friend upset, a happy Jade always outweighed an irritable Beck because, who didn't love a happy Jade?

"Jade is moving on," Robbie answered tentatively. He fumbled with Rex in his lap and then out the puppet in his backpack. "She's happier now, well, as happy as Jade could be."

"Oh."

"Shouldn't you want her to be happy?"

Beck didn't answer.

"I want her to be happy." Robbie cleared his throat, trying to elicit a response from his only male friend. "She hasn't been happy in a long time." Robbie admitted.

"How would you know what makes her happy?" Beck sneered and Robbie winced; Beck switched emotions faster than anyone Robbie knew- including Cat.

"We've been neighbours since we were five, I know a lot about Jade. We used to be best friends."

"You never told me that," Beck's cold eyes fell upon Robbie's and the curly haired boy felt his palms begin to sweat under Beck's intense gaze.

"But you knew; it's why you even befriended me in the first place, so you could get to Jade." Beck's arched eyebrow and tousled hair meant that Robbie was speaking the truth. Robbie wasn't an idiot- maybe he was cowardly, but he was never an idiot. Why else would Beck Oliver, one of the coolest kids on the whole of Hollywood Arts befriend him if he wasn't going to benefit from it?

"Listen Robbie-"

"I've listened long enough," Robbie shrieked hotly, "I know you and Jade are still secretly seeing each other; even after your supposed breakup. I see your car parked down the street. You taught me a lot Beck, and I really appreciate it, but I think you should start taking some of your own advice and stop jerking her around."

Robbie expected Beck to get angry, to put him in a headlock or to smack him across the head, maybe even shoot a dangerous glare or two but he didn't. Beck leaned propped his chin in his hand and wore an amused smirk across his tanned features.

"No, continue Robbie, I'm all ears."

He was taunting Robbie, subtly making fun of him and it was then Robbie realized Beck wasn't so different from Jade at all. If anything, he was probably always setting her off with those knowing smirks and constant eye rolls. Beck was supposed to be his friend and friends don't treat friends like this.

"You told me that you have to make a girl feel special," There was no turning back now, was there Robert? "And well, maybe I shouldn't be taking your advice anymore."

"Oh really?" Beck's smile twitched and Robbie leaned into his seat, shrinking away from Beck and his nonchalant demeanor.

"You told me to compliment girls, but you never compliment Jade." Beck's smile was slowly wearing away and Robbie took this opportunity to continue, "you told me that I should always remind her about how I feel, but you never do that unless Jade asks you to. You said to make her feel wanted, but sometimes you ignore Jade's texts. Almost every single piece of advice you've given me on how to get a girl and keep her, you don't use yourself."

"Listen Robbie, you don't know a single thing about us-" Beck's hands slammed against Robbie's desk and the curly haired boy jumped. They attracted the attention of a few students but neither took any notice. Robbie squeaked out his answer, mustering all the valor he needed in order to continue.

"Our houses are close together. I can hear Jade crying, no matter how loudly she blasts her music on Sunday nights. I know she only ever smiles when you make her smile, and she only ever breaks when you break her. I know she spends hours getting ready when you guys have a date, just so you can tell her she looks pretty, and I know she forces a smile when you don't say a single word." Robbie avoided eye contact, partly because he felt like he was betraying Jade's trust (even though they never spoke anymore and she basically hated him for some unknown reason now) and because, well, these details were intimate. Beck of all people should be able to read Jade like an open book, like one of those screenplays she was always writing but he didn't.

Either he couldn't or he chose not to.

"What, are you stalking her now?" Beck's tone was uneven (which said a lot, seeing as it was Beck Oliver and he was cooler than a cucumber) and his teeth were clenched. Robbie wondered briefly how Beck got his teeth so incredibly white and if that was what made all the girls flock to him like a herd of lamb flocking to their shepherd. His hand was gripping unto a button on his worn jeans jacket until he had pulled it right off and discarded the metal button across the classroom. Robbie watched, eyes widened and his mouth hanging open slightly as it narrowly missed another student.

Beck sure was strong…

Being friends with Jade taught Robbie one thing: honesty. Jade was always honest, no matter how much it hurt someone's feelings. She was always true to herself and admitted (somewhat reluctantly) her flaws. When they were kids, and looks didn't matter, when he was just Robbie her neighbour and not the annoying Boy-With-The-Puppet, she would try to teach him courage but it never worked.

Here and now, after she had defended him against the school yard bullies, after she yelled at him to learn to stand up for himself, after she told him she couldn't protect her forever, Robbie had to do something to repay her. He owed it to her.

If he couldn't protect her physically (because Jade could still take him in a fight if she wanted to), he could at least try and protect her heart, seeing as she was doing a crappy job at it. So Robbie sucked in a raspy breath, closed his eyes and tried to resume whatever meager self-confidence he had stored up inside of him, before his lips sprung apart and the words tumbled out of his mouth.

"We grew up together, I know everything about her. Right now, I know that you aren't good enough for her. She needs someone who will always be there for her because he wants to be there, not someone like you, who will be there for her and then use it against her later on. She's happier without you, and you guys haven't been out on a date in weeks, but she's still smiling and it annoys you."

"You don't know a single little shit. You've been in love with Cat for years, and she still not yours. No amount of classes will help you get any girl." Beck always had a way with words- meaning he knew which words would hurt the most. So when he saw the hurt splayed across Robbie's face, when he recognized the look of betrayal, he felt years of guilt weight down his shoulders.

Probably because that was the same look Jade gave him when he told her that he wasn't happy with their relationship in front of a theater filled with Northridge students (the worst kind). It was the same look she had when she caught him hugging Tori a bit too tightly in the hallway. It also happened to be the same look Tori gave him, when he tried to convince her to kiss him.

And frankly, Beck was tired of being the one to evoke that face.

"I may not know how to get a girl, Beck, but I sure will know how to keep her." Robbie spoke firmly, then as the bell sounded, he scrambled out of his seat, fearing that Beck would slam him against the lockers or come after him. It wasn't like Beck could socially ruin him, because Robbie had managed to do that all by himself.

Beck never moved from his seat, because maybe Robbie sort of had a point.

Beck could get any girl he wanted to (maybe excluding Jade if she was really moving on), but he never knew how to make them stay. The more he wanted them by his side, the more they left. And by "they", he was really referring to the multiple times Jade broke up with him, and all the times he never went after her.

Beck never had to chase after girls (except for Jade because she was really always the odd one out, wasn't she?), they just came and never gave him a second to himself. Jade used to be like that, when they were at their worst. She was possessive and controlling, but now that she was widening the distance between them, now that she was walking in the opposite direction and wasn't walking with him, gripping unto his hand, Beck knew he had to do something.

It was only when Jade was gone, did he realize how much he really needed her in his life.

She was like the missing key that his robot heart needed to turn the clockwork inside of him. She kept him alive.

(Also, Beck must have been a really good teacher because Robbie caught on so fast and Beck was really going to give himself a nice pat on the back but then he saw Jade walking down the hallway, Ryder Daniels in tow and he shot out of his seat, ignoring as it toppled to the floor. Then he did something stupid, like grab her hand and pull her away, then when she tried to push him away, he kissed her and he was really really really glad when she kissed him back. And when she told him, it wasn't "going to be as easy as all the other times," he smiled because he was willing to do whatever it took if she was going to start looking at him like that again and he was going to say something witty too but she kissed him and his mind went blank.)

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"Robbie, I think I have a chance with Jade again."

"I know, Beck. Just remember what I told you."

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"Robbie, what do you think I should do?"

"Stop pretending you don't care and start showing some more emotion, Beck."

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"Robbie, when did you become the Jade-expert?"

"When we were five and she gave me her juice-box."

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"Thanks, Robbie."

"No problem, man."

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"Jade, I think you're pretty."

"We're not together anymore, Beck. You don't get to say these things."

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"Jade, you're different from all the rest."

"Boy, do I know."

"You make me feel different too…"

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"Jade, I like what you did with your hair. It looks nice."

"All I did was go for a haircut, loser."

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"Jade, I never stopped loving you."

"I know."

"How did you know?"

"Robbie told me."

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"I'm a good man with a good heart
Had a tough time, got a rough start
But I finally learned to let it go"

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(.x.)


One of the worst things I've ever written.