Warning: The main character of this story is a very, VERY (and I mean VERY) vain and narcissistic… erm, object. Also, he is a sort of a racist, and probably disrespects everyone except for his master. Also, be beware of slightly harsh language and suggestive themes.

Disclaimer: Kazuya Minekura created Saiyuki, not me. Also, the Maten Scripture is rightfully owned by Genjyo Sanzo.

They All Want Me

Before we start, let me introduce myself. It is possible that you do not know me, despite that I am actually in the hands of a high-ranking figure. Some say he doesn't deserve it, but I am not the judge of that – I am simply his possession at the meantime. You probably saw me before, but forgot to mention me. Siiiigh…. It's because they always steal the limelight from me.

However, I actually am an important object! Maybe because they all want me for some purpose or another.

Do you know me now? Come on! I'm always in that golden-haired monk's shoulders!! I'm the freaking Maten Scripture!!

Yeah, that's right. One of the two scriptures under the protection of Genjyo Sanzo the 31st of China. You know, the monk who doesn't act like one. But honestly, he's better than my previous protectors – because of their weak security, my brother scripture, the Seiten Scripture, was stolen by those idiotic youkai. Now, they also want me! Really, they shouldn't put filth into my delicate scrolls of paper, with rich jet black ink elegantly decorating with such beautiful penmanship! How dare those… those… youkai!!

But they're really persistent jerks. In every single freaking day, some group of those creatures comes up against my master and his servants, demanding them to have me! The nerve! I know I am beautiful enough to be loved by everyone, but I'm actually picky on my masters. It's a good thing Master Sanzo and his companions can protect me well against them. I shall only adorn the shoulders of a Sanzo, you hear that!!

However, soon later, I heard why I was so wanted by all. I was surprised and abhorred at the fact that they don't want me simply because of the amazing words of wisdom written inside me! They just want me because I could help them resurrect some stupid bastard known as Gyuumaou! What's worse, he's a youkai! YUUUUCK! For me, an almighty divine scripture, one of the five founding scriptures of heaven & earth! For someone like me, to be used as a revival device for a youkai! My goodness! I AM THE ALMIGHTY MATEN SCRIPTURE! I AM TOO DELICATE TO BE USED BY FILTH LIKE YOU!

It's a good thing Master Sanzo keeps me well. Heh, I even aid him in his battles! Remember how many times he chanted me with his oh-so beautiful voice, ending with a "Makai Tenjou!"? If that stupid Smith & Wessonwasn't there, I would have been his main weapon!

Maybe I should somehow throw that piece of metal out so I can be always be used by Master Sanzo! MWAHAHAHAHAH!!

… Ah, yes. I have to admit. I am in love with Master Sanzo.

No, seriously. I fell in love with him the moment my ex-lover, Koumyou Sanzo, entrusted me to him. Did you see his golden hair? His purples eyes? He is the perfect combination of light and darkness.

Alright, I admit. I fell in love with every Sanzo who protected me. Heck, I can't even count how many lovers I had!

… By the way, I did not have an affair with them. Seriously, them doing… THAT, with me?! No way! I am too fragile and delicate! I might get soaked, or torn! Or… or…

You got my point.

But really, I am sooooo amazing. I break the laws of matter! One moment I'm just fitting enough to be worn over the shoulders, and at the other moment, when Master Sanzo chants me, I become a whole lot of meters long! Hah, take that!

Wait, I might have bored you. You still awake? Don't you dare sleep in front of me while I say the best speech in the world! For I am one of the five founding scriptures of heaven and earth, entrusted only to Sanzos, the highest-ranking monks of Shangri-La! I AM THE MATEN SCRIPTURE! BOW DOWN TO ME AND PRAISE ME, AND ONLY ME (besides Master Sanzo)! MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

I'm sorry, but I have to conclude my speech for the day. The Sanzo-ikkou has woken up due to my melodious laughter.

"…Hey, Sanzo-sama."

Twitch. "What is it, Gojyo? It better be not stupid, or I'll shoot you."

"Did you hear something?" Asked the rehead, who brought himself into a sitting position. They were at an inn, and it was already by midnight. However, the two could not sleep.

Sanzo pulled out his gun and then aimed it at Gojyo in a split second. "Shut up. I didn't hear anything other than your stupid babbling. No one's talking."

"H-Hey! Put that gun down!"

"…You two can't sleep either?"

Gojyo looked at Hakkai, who raised himself from his bed. "Can't sleep too?"

"Actually, you two were so loud you just woke me up."

"It was Gojyo's fault. He was killing my eardums." Mumbled the monk.

"Hey!"

"Anyway, I just thought of something, Sanzo." Said Hakkai.

"What is it?"

"I was just wondering what is your opinion about the Maten Scripture."

This time, Sanzo aimed it at Hakkai. "Seriously, you're starting to get contaminated by those two idiots. Shut it up."

"I'm just curious, that's all."

Sanzo was then silent for a while before answering Hakkai's answer.

"It's a useless, worthless piece of a burden. If I didn't have the right to protect this scripture, I would have thrown it into the garbage can already."

It was fortunate that the Maten Scripture was too engulfed in its little world, fantasizing about master Sanzo. If it wasn't, it would have heard its master's words.

Random plot bunny. Oh Maten Scipture, how you amuse me…