You lonely, no good, wasteful piece of shit! I'm so sick of you ruining everything for everybody. And you wonder why you're all by yourself. Pathetic. I hate you so much. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.
"I hate myself so much."
Say it again.
"I HATE MYSELF!"
THEN PULL HARDER!
"I CAN'T!…. I can't."
The broken hare released his grip.
His apathetic friend feel to his side; he only friend he truly had left.
No advice or comforting words were spoken by this companion, yet it was always there to help no matter how bad things got.
It was there because of how bad things got. Because of how things are. How things always been.
The illness started and finished with his friend. It birthed, raised, and released the ailments of his damaged mind: a mind scared of it's own doing. Confused by its own broken state.
Scared.
Scarred.
Shattered.
Ready to be swept under the rug. Only one thing disposed of him and his pain. His friend.
Other friends aren't as helpful. Pills and liquor only distract Jack from the fire building in his home. His heart. His soul. Humorless jokes make the drunk hare laugh at the thought of being happy. Highs tell him stories of what could have been. Either way, he returns lower than when he began.
Useless.
Alone.
Afraid.
Only one friend could cure the demon that is his mind.
His mind is his worst enemy.
It mocks him.
Destroys him.
Rebuilds him.
Destroys him again.
Jack could no longer use the broken foundation to build again. All is lost. No masking the damage that's been done. It's time to check out. No looking back….
"Where will I go?"
The one friend who can help. The friend whom he's afraid of. The friend he finds comfort and certainty in….
Why did you stop! Why the hell are you still here? Answer me!
"I….. I don't know anymore."
Well, it's right there. Nothing stopping you now. Get on with it!
"I'm scared…."
Oh, so you rather try to rebuild again!? Wanna give it another go?! CAN you even try again?!
"You know I can't…"
Then what are you scared of!?
"I…. I don't know what happens next…"
Well, we know what happens next if we don't. Which road you wanna take, slick?
Jack grabbed the end of the object and pulled as hard as he can. It was designed not to lose tension, but he tugged as if it threatened to escape him.
That's it. Leave. Go home. It's where you belong….. it's where….
The monster's voice grew fainter as his friend did his job. The one who smothers his enemy. The one who stops the pain….
The noose who set his troubled soul free.
Jack sat on the edge of his bed, tugging at the noose to secure its tension. The hare's brain began to burn as white dots clouded his vision. Limbs grew heavy as he struggled to maintain the grip on the rope around his neck. Muscles begin to contract as the lack of oxygen took its toll. He fought to pull the rope off, but his strength was fading fast. After a few seconds it felt like a match was lit inside his chest. This was the only sensation he felt as he arms finally grew numb. The last thing Jack remembered was his own hands hitting his sides….a burning in his chest….and pure regret.
….but he didn't care….
The voice was finally silent.
It was finally over..
"Jack, don't forget to stay on budget and keep your room clean ok!?"
"Alright, mom! I'm a big bunny, I can handle living on my own."
"Oh sweetie, I know you can. You've always been my strongest child."
"Mom, please don't-"
"Don't "Mom" me. You are…."
"You know I'm about as strong as - OW!"
"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT! Look…. Yes, you have problems that none of your siblings have. That doesn't make you any less strong, Jack! You CAN make it through this. You can't give up. There's a big world out there. Sometimes you may feel like you have nowhere to go. You HAVE to stay strong. Don't give up on me, ok? Never. Give. In."
"Yes, ma'am."
"I love you, Jack."
"I love you too, mama."
"Remember: Never give in."
Never give in…
Never give in….
Never give-
"MAMA!"
Jack arose to the shrill of an alarm clock. He laid face down on the cold carpet, confused and afraid. The vividness of his dream sent shivers down his spine. He felt relieved to be past the whole ordeal… until realized his breaths were faint.
His paw inspected his neck, meeting the rough texture of woven twine. The noose somehow loosened enough to barely allow airflow. Panic overcame disarray as he frantically fought to release himself from the noose. With a heave, the rope was sent flying across the room, hitting the alarm clock.
Jack's eyes shot wide open when he saw the time.
7:15.
A wave of nausea sent him running to the bathroom when he confirmed to himself what just happened.
He was on the floor for 7 hours.
Possibly dead….
Or asleep. He didn't want to know which.
Raising from his vomit, he took a look at himself in the mirror. His cheeks were matted and damp, and the fur on his neck was sparse from friction. The redness in his eyes reflected the pain he still felt in his head. He looked…
Tired.
Defeated.
Hopeless….
But alive.
He shook his head and dismissed the stranger in the mirror.
Grabbing his comb, he indifferently groomed himself for yet another day.