Title: Battlescars
Pairing: GraLu (Fairy Tail Fandom)
Summary: In the end, it was their love that brought them back together.
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail.
Chapter 1
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His fingers play through the piano like an unsung melody. Lucy's heart thumps with every note as it tries to pierce the depths of her soul.
She shouldn't allow him to go on to battle alone. This is not the life she wanted for them and even for him. But her opinion doesn't matter at this point. He is leaving, and all she could do is to stare at his fingers as he tries to play the melody he'll leave with her tonight.
Let go.
She could hear the bridge of the song fast approaching, and Lucy wills herself (be strong, be strong, be strong!) to stop her hands from clutching onto Gray's shirt.
But...
It's almost time...
The last note dreadfully hung in the air.
It is the signal Gray's been waiting for. With a resolve like that of steel, he quietly stands up, hugs his wife from where she's sitting beside him, and takes an awfully long glance at her before stepping out of the door.
The metal clicks and Lucy could only slump down her chair at the pain of seeing Gray go.
Her body became so stiff that she couldn't even return his simple gesture. Because any longer – of his body pressing to hers, of his hands caressing her cheeks – would shatter the last pieces of resolve she has built up during the song.
It is time to let go.
The first few days since Gray had left were the worst days of her life. She was throwing up everywhere and her pregnancy wasn't looking great.
Living became so hard especially without him by her side.
Phone calls from Gray came in occasionally during the months that followed. By then, her stomach was starting to swell... although he still hasn't got a clue as to what was happening. All Lucy could tell him was 'I have a surprise for you when you come home', and he would reply with an 'I can't wait to be back in your arms'.
Gray never told her any stories about the war or how badly he's wounded. Lucy would always try to ask him but he would dismiss it right away and instead, he would ask about how she's doing or if she's already burned the house down with her cooking.
This set-up went on for almost three months.
He would call, and she would answer –but she wouldn't tell him about the baby until he comes home; he would sometimes write a letter, but she never had a chance to reply because the army's always moving from one place to another.
The fourth month marked the beginning of her worst nightmare. Gray stopped calling, and even his occasional letters ceased arriving. Her loneliness and worries escalated beyond what was healthy that stress had finally taken its toll on her. It was later on that she found herself lying on the floor with the smell of blood filling her nostrils-
She had lost their baby...
... with Gray nowhere to be found.
The world suddenly looked so dark. Her problems kept piling up one after the other that Lucy thought it might just be the end for her. After all, what could be worse than having a miscarriage and with her man missing in action?
But alas, her positivity prevailed and she tried her best to cope with the loss and to hope for Gray's safe return.
Months passed.
One became two, and two became three... until her hope finally cracked.
(He's not coming back.)
Acceptance wasn't easy although Lucy had already started to recognize the fact that her husband might really be gone. Still... the thought of putting away Gray's belongings and pictures wasn't welcomed.
The task simply hurts.
(But I need to move on.)
With strength she didn't know where she got from, Lucy began to straighten her life - mornings became bright, nights became peaceful. But fate was cruel and in the process of moving-on, a phone call from her good friend Levy happened. 'My Husband's dead' she said, 'Gajeel's dead.'
It was the confirmation she wanted to avoid. Gajeel dying could only mean that Gray (their unit's captain) really was (and officially) gone.
The slim chances of hope that brushed her subconsciousness evaporated into thin air.
Lucy didn't bother to eat for days in her misery, but Erza (their childhood friend who lived in the nearby town), came rushing through her door and reminded her that Gray would never forgive himself in the afterlife if she continued to become an empty shell.
(For you, I'll hold on.)
Finally, after months of agony and a lot of 'It's okay, I'm sure he's happy from where he's right now', Lucy's one shimmer of (lost) hope came in the form of an unexpected phone call –
'Ma'am, I'm pleased to inform you that your husband, Lt. Gray Fullbuster, is currently admitted in our hospital and is recovering from his war injuries for nearly 6 months now.'
She never had to think twice about leaving and rushing through the hospital only to find a blue-haired doctor standing protectively over her husband.
"NO! HE'S MINE!" the voice echoed throughout the pristine white room. The smell of antiseptics lingered in the air; complimenting the 'beeping' sound of the machine hooked up to the body of one, Lt. Gray Fullbuster.
The woman pointed a finger towards Lucy; her emotions getting the best of her, "And you can't take him away from me because I damn well kept him alive for these past six months while you're nowhere to be found." She stood close to Gray's bed – like a lioness protecting her cub.
Perhaps this was fate's cruel way to twist up her life. Lucy couldn't help but stand (stunned) in front of a woman – who gave back her husband's life – and in front of the bed where her dear Gray slept.
"I'm his wife." Lucy tried her best to not let her voice crack despite her overflowing emotions.
The blue-haired doctor gave a sarcastic laugh. "Only on paper."
"What do you mean?"
"He doesn't remember anything –", A pause. "- and all he knows right now, is that I am Juvia Loxar Fullbuster. His wife."
The pain was unbearable. It's chilling and –
"He said I love you to me, so what right do you have?"
- it felt like death knocking on her door.
"Look, he's gotten all better throughout this time. Who knows what will happen to him if you come barging into his life and ruin everything we've build up for these past few months?"
Lucy directed her eyes to look at Gray's almost lifeless body; she couldn't shake the feeling of guilt that was eating at her heart. She knew she was at fault – in some way or another. She should have stopped him from leaving their house on that cold dark night. She should have tried to convince him to stay with her – especially when she was carrying their child.
She could have done it.
But she chose not to.
She had to let him go because deep down in her heart, she knew Gray wanted so badly to save their country – for her, for him, and for their future. If he knew she had conceived, would Gray somehow have a change of mind and heart about going into battle?
Probably not.
Gray grew up alone in the streets. His parents were killed along with the other people in his town. He was the only survivor.
His innocent eyes became tainted by bloodstains and the dismembered bodies of his mother and father lying on the floor long before he knew the word 'war'. This was why he's so determined to end the killings happening around them.
(Because he wouldn't want someone else to live the life that he had.)
And right now, here's an opportunity for Gray to start anew, to forget the pains and sufferings he went through, and to have a white canvas ready to be painted on with beautiful and vivid colors. Meeting her now would just become a bitter reminder.
Juvia was right. How could she hold a claim to someone who doesn't know her at all? Forcing him to come with her would do more harm than good.
But... she loves him.
Half of her wanted the best for Gray – to let him recover and live a new life. But another half of her wanted him back, in her arms, in her bed; because otherwise would just be pain.
Yet here was another woman, who loves him and whom he loves back. They would be happy. He would be happy. But she couldn't deal with this any longer. She needed some time to think and to assess her feelings. After all, she is the real Lucy Fullbuster, so why was she hesitating so much?
Turning on her heels, Lucy left the room as quietly as possible but not without leaving a word.
"I'll be back."
She didn't even wait for Juvia's reply because the moment she reached the garden outside the hospital, she wept bitterly and harshly -
Because life was so cruel by taking away not only her child but also her husband.
Juvia heaved a long sigh at Lucy's retreat. With the slump form and defeated look on the blonde, she knew she had won the fight.
"Um, Doctor?" Gray said.
Panic washed over the doctor's face. Was he awake all these time? Did he hear her conversation with Lucy?
"Y-Yes?" She replied - hesitation coating her voice.
"Did someone come to visit? Was it my wife? You know how much I'm missing her–"Gray turned his face to look at the window before continuing, "- I have a lot to make up to her. If only my legs would allow me –"
"Then you should rest some more. Don't worry; I'll take good care of you."
"Thank you... doctor."
"It's my pleasure."
There was a heartbeat that passed before Gray – now wide awake and sitting on his bed – asked Juvia the same question for the past 90 days.
"Can you tell me the color of the sky today?"
Thanks for reading and I'm hoping to hear your wonderful feedback/comments/criticisms/thoughts.
hugs and kisses,
Fia