Author's Note: Sorry to interrupt ya'll from your reading, but please let me know if you guys like this, 'cause this is like my first EVER list/story thing and I want to know if it's any good. Thanks! P.S. I don't own AC3, so don't get me or nothing for not putting it down the first time, I forgot okay? Now read to greatness and maybe laughter!
Ways to annoy Connor Kenway
1. Don't find a white hoodie somewhere and tell him you're an Assassin, 'cause he might actually fall for it.
2. Actually, NEVER do that. He'll find out sooner or later and get his bow.
3. Start crying at random times and whine, "Why'd you kill your father?!"
4. Snatch his hoodie off his head and yell to the redcoats that he's right there.
5. While he's hunting, don't whisper stuff in his ear. He'll lose concentration and chase you around the field with his tomahawk.
6. Stop him every 5 seconds when a bunch of redcoats goes by.
7. Tell him that Haytham is better than him.
8. Scare off EVERY animal that he tries to hunt.
9. Don't EVER sneak up on him, 'cause if you do, you'll definitely have an arrow in you before you get a chance to run.
10. Repeatedly ask him if he's ever lonely.
11. While in the trees, push him off the branch he's sitting on.
12. Never do that while it's snowing, you might not find him for a while since he wears white.
13. Lock him in a room for no apparent reason.
14. If he asks why you did that, say, "You know how to pick locks don't you?"
15. Loot somebody and blame it on Connor and say, "He told me to."
16. Don't steal the animals he hunted, he'll know it was you and bring out the Hidden Blades.
17. When he jumps off the horse, be like Paul Revere and repeatedly whine, "Get back on the horse Connor..."
18. Don't shout "Oh my god, you killed Bambi!" when he kills a deer, 'cause he'll have no idea what you're talking about.
19. Don't try to save him when he ducks his head underwater because he's not drowning, I promise.
20. Grab a musket and talk in a british accent, he's gonna think you're a redcoat and when he finds out you're not, it's not gonna be pretty.
21. Tell him the british are coming. I think he knows that, but I'm not sure.
22. When he's driving the Aquila, don't give random orders to the guys on the deck and say that Connor was giving these orders.
23. Make him stop every second so you can pet ALL the animals in the town.
24. Ask him how the redcoats don't see him because he's the only one that wears a white hood in the whole town.
25. While he's standing on a pier, knock him into the water and yell, "MAN DROWNING! HELP!"
25. While he's standing on a pier, knock him into the water and yell, "MAN DROWNING! HELP!"
26. Act like a cheerleader every time he fights somebody.
27. Give him a hug.
28. You might want to run after doing number 27. Just in case.
29. Act like Jack Sparrow while he drives the Aquila.
30. While Connor is eavesdropping and the person walks by, whisper, "Pssssst, he's watching you."
31. After doing number 30, walk away slowly and give him a weird look.
32. Call him a stalker.
33. Give him the impression that you're gonna say anything at any moment and leave him in suspense.
34. Copy every move he makes and every word he says.
35. Steal his horse and ride off. (I know it sounds mean, but I would eventually go back to get him. :))
36. Tell him he looks like his father. It might give him memories.
37. Give him a long, boring lecture about how great George Washington (or Charles Lee) is.
38. Scratch that. Don't even mention Charles Lee around him.
39. I don't think he likes George Washington too much either. So say his name as much as possible just to annoy Connor. :P
40. Don't beat him at checkers.
41. Never play board games with him in the first place.
42. Spend all his money at the shop.
43. Yell his name repeatedly until he answers you.
44. If you just say 'Hi' afterwards, hide somewhere. FAST.
45. Lead him to a den that's full of wolves that he doesn't know about and leave. He'll come out alive...but I don't know about you.
46. Talk really really fast.
47. Don't get him confused for a ninja. Ninjas and Assassins are 2 TOTALLY different kinds of people.
48. He probably doesn't even know what a ninja is, so don't call him a ninja.
49. Don't EVER make fun of the Brotherhood. EVER.
50. Don't call Achilles an old man.
So, there's my 50 ways to annoy Connor Kenway. (I'm sorry Connor, no hard feelings!) And here's one more thing for ya'll: NEVER GIVE CONNOR SUGAR OR COFFEE. He will go crazy, trust me. If you do, make sure to hide ALL of his weapons so he can't get to them first. Hope ya'll enjoyed the story! Thanks for reading! :D