There are some allusions to the abuse Anthy and Utena suffered from in the series, but nothing graphic.
Any similarities to other post-series fic was unintentional. Also, please keep in mind that Anthy is an unreliable narrarator and what she thinks of herself does not necessarily reflect what I think of her. I do not own Revolutionary Girl Utena or any of these characters.
1.
Anthy doesn't seek out Utena right away. Instead, she gives Utena some time to herself to grow in this new, free, world. For once in her very long life, Anthy lets herself go, and tries to experience life as it should be. Not stuck in a made up school, manipulating people, or sacrificing herself endlessly for her brother. Just existing as a young girl discovering the world. She doesn't really feel young, hasn't for awhile, but in this newfound freedom she lets herself feel childish once again.
It's not easy at first. She keeps waiting for Akio to appear over her shoulder, to grab her by the wrist or to just look down at her with his piercing gaze. She feels the phantom pain of a hand across her cheek whenever she says anything that someone around her might not want to hear. Sometimes she braces for it and almost feels wrong when the slap never comes.
She has to learn how to not make herself smile whenever she's around other people. She forces herself to learn how to be just Anthy, whoever that is, instead of molding everything about herself to what another person wants her to be. It's a survival instinct hard wired into her mind, and it's not easy to override.
Anthy also tries to forgive herself when she slips back into those old habits. That's one of the hardest parts.
Years and years pass. Chu Chu remains her sole companion. If she was being honest with herself, she would have realized sooner that she was avoiding Utena. Not just giving herself time, not even necessarily giving Utena time. Not because she didn't want to see her, or even that she couldn't find her. Anthy knew she would find Utena if she actually looked. Truthfully, she felt like Utena wouldn't want to be found. Why would she want to see Anthy of all people? Anthy was toxic. She had manipulated Utena and roped her into this whole ordeal. Most of the time even Anthy didn't want to be around herself, despite trying to enjoy her new life.
Even deeper beneath that, Anthy's reasoning was more selfish. She knew if she found Utena, she might have a shot at actually being happy, even with all the horrid things that had happened to both of them. Utena made her happy. Utena had made her happy, even when they were stuck in that perpetual cycle of misery. Yet, Anthy was the last person that deserved happiness.
Sometimes she thinks about Akio, even misses him. Anthy stays awake late most nights, looking out at the stars, and wonders if she made a horrible mistake. He was cruel and selfish and he took whatever he wanted, but she remembered a time when he was soft and kind. He took care of her. Anthy had wanted to be the one to take care of him for once, but that had led them to an awful place of violence and manipulation.
That was a long time ago, though.
Before she realizes it, Anthy is old and she feels at home in her aged body. She wasn't even sure she could age anymore, until one day she looks in the mirror and sees a face that lost all of the youthful roundness, lined with wrinkles.
This is when she finally allows herself to look for Utena. She doesn't have any time to spare anymore.
Anthy finds Utena not long after she decides she's done wasting time. When they lock gazes, Utena just grins at her. She is also much older than the last time they were together, but underneath the wrinkles and laugh lines were the same bright blue eyes. She simply says, "finally," before pulling Anthy into a tight hug.
"I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me," Anthy admits shakily against Utena's shoulder.
"What are you talking about? I've been waiting for you for years."
Standing there with Utena, who was just holding her, expecting nothing more, Anthy finally, finally feels wanted for who she is, instead of what she could be used for. She stays there for awhile, crying into Utena's shoulder, and she's never felt happier in all the years she's been alive.
2.
Though Utena had escaped (or more accurately, been forcibly erased from) Akio's world, she was still in her own coffin. The Ohtori she created for herself was simultaneously not much different than Akio's and vastly dissimilar.
Utena's world was like an elaborate eternal dream. Many details between it and what she'd experienced with Anthy were consistent, with the same people, and similar rituals and events, but it was even more surreal and complex. Akio had built his world to be semi-believable for the children stuck in it, but Utena's world was a prison solely for her.
Not long ago, Utena had helped Anthy escape from her own coffin by giving her some hope, so Anthy was going to help Utena emerge from hers. Maybe then, they could build a new life together.
She places herself in Utena's world and plays her part. She tells herself that once it all ends, she and Utena can finally be together, away from everything that oppressed them, that tried to box them in. Outside of their coffins and alive at last. Anthy feels guilty, like she's just going back to manipulating Utena once again, but she knows that it's what she must do to help Utena. She can't save Utena, nor could she rush her, she has to let Utena grow herself, and just be there for her.
Finally riding off with Utena, away from the wreckage behind them, Anthy kisses her and thinks that maybe, just maybe, they could be happy, even if it took some time.
3.
While she had projected confidence for Utena's whereabouts, Anthy finds that she feels less sure as she walks further and further away from Ohtori.
Once someone had vanished from Ohtori, they were just gone. Anthy hadn't tried to think of where they went. Utena could be anywhere in the world right now, or she could be nowhere. Erased out of existence. Anthy shakes the thought away immediately. Utena couldn't just be gone. She had to be out there, somehow, somewhere.
Anthy had spent so long in Akio's puppet show that she doesn't know much about the outside world once she steps out into it. It turns out to be big, larger than she could imagine, with billions of people scattered throughout. There were so many people. They stick to themselves or their groups most of the time, but the feeling of so many bodies surrounding Anthy sets her on edge, makes her feel so very small. Faces blend together, and Anthy finds it difficult to separate a friendly face from an expression dripping with malice.
Anthy stays away from big cities. It's better that way.
It takes a few years of searching for Anthy to finally check the very last place she'd wanted to look for Utena. The possibility had prickled at the back of her mind since she decided to search for her, an instinct she couldn't explain. She spent those years pushing it to the back of her mind, ignoring the dreaded thorns that buried themselves into her mind. Eventually, though, it was impossible to ignore. With her heart sinking, Anthy lets her instincts guide her.
In a nondescript cemetery in Japan, there was a gravestone with an inscription that simply read "Tenjou Utena", placed next to the graves of her parents.
4.
Anthy doesn't find Utena in the first lifetime. She finally grows old, still looking over her shoulder everywhere she goes for the girl she promised she would find. She starts to truly doubt herself when her hair starts greying, and finally gives up when she has no more strength left to move forward.
Anthy gets reborn. Again and again, new lives, new names, different circumstances. Yet, somehow, still fundamentally Anthy. Sometimes she remembers everything, has all the memories of another person in another life but even though she didn't live through them anytime in this life she knows it was her. And she knows she has to find Utena. She's been kept waiting for too long. Anthy doesn't ever find her in those lifetimes.
Other times she only have vague memories, quick flashes. They don't make sense. Nobody understands when she tries to explain. Nobody knows about a girl named Utena, and the stories of duels and an upside down castle in the sky just sound outlandish. Everyone she knows thinks she's just a girl with an overactive imagination, and then an adult unwilling to let go of childish thoughts. Most of the time Anthy learns to stop mentioning any of it.
Some cycles Anthy is just a normal girl, searching for something just out of reach, something she couldn't even name. She spends those years away traveling, not knowing what she's looking for but knowing she hasn't found it yet.
Sometimes Anthy lives through her life, never looking. Maybe there's occasionally an edge of discontent, something in her heart telling her that something important was missing, but she would brush that off and continue on with her life.
It's not even that Anthy couldn't live without Utena. Some of her lives were perfectly happy, even if they had the slightest feeling of loneliness on the nights when she would gaze next to her on her bed, seeing an empty pillow, or even the face of someone beloved to her. Still, she'd then go to sleep, and forget about the uneasiness the following morning.
Though Anthy left Ohtori many lifetimes ago, she finds herself stuck in another cycle of dying and rebirth with no end in sight.
Then, one day during one of her many lifetimes, Anthy sees her. Anthy is in the waiting room for a meeting with her therapist when she sees a girl that looks painfully familiar, though she can't place why. Anthy accidentally locks gazes with the girl, but instead of awkwardly looking away like she usually would, she holds eye contact, seeing something shift in the other girls expression.
Though she's usually reserved, perhaps even shy, Anthy introduces herself, and they make plan to go to the local coffee shop later that week.
They're fast friends. The girl, whose name is Utena, tells Anthy that she also looks familiar, though they're both certain they'd never met.
"What about basketball, are you sure you've never been to one of my games?" Utena inquires, sipping her tea.
Anthy smiles apologetically. "I'm not big into sports, so probably not."
Though they never find the inexplicable connection, Anthy and Utena spend more and more time together, until there basically inseparable.
They get married in the spring, much later, and Anthy feels like everything has finally fallen into place.
She does not get reborn after that.
5.
Utena sees her in her dreams. At first she's convinced it was just a product of her unconscious mind, like any of her other dreams, but this is different. It's not like the nightmares filled with blood and swords, or even the dreams where she's with Anthy, happy. This is more real.
Anthy appears to be stuck behind some sort of soundless, invisible barrier. She's reaching out, but something blocks her. Her lips are moving but all Utena hears is deafening silence. Utena moves closer herself, reaching a hand out, and encounters resistance, almost like a wall between them. "Himemiya? Himemiya! Anthy!" Utena calls out to her, but Anthy doesn't appear to hear her.
Utena doesn't have this dream every night, but she has it often enough. The outcome is always the same, with Anthy and Utena able to see each other, but separated by some inexplicable barrier. They give up at shouting at some point, and most nights they just sit across from each other, so very close, and it's almost enough.
Utena wants to find Anthy in her waking life as well, but she has no idea where to even start.
1.
In the end, it wasn't a tragedy but it also wasn't a fairytale ending. Anthy and Utena were two normal people in a crowd, with their own separate lives and no apparent connection. Yet, their eyes met from across the room, and they both felt something strike deep within their hearts. This time there were no duels, no swords, no roses, no student council, no rules. No Akio. Just Anthy and Utena. Just two young girls with a shared past, who had once loved each other in an impossible situation. Two girls who didn't, couldn't, entirely realize the nature of their feelings at the time. Everything was different now, though. They were different. More mature. They'd had some time apart in this outside world, but now they'd found each other again and there weren't any restraints on them anymore.
For once in her life, Anthy made the first move toward another person, not for her brother or a hidden agenda or even for Utena, but solely for herself.
If anyone was curious, the second one was based on the theory that the movie is actually a sequel to the series, instead of a retelling.