Crocodile did not look up as the meatball chunked past his ear, causing the ring that pierced its lobe to whistle. His cigar, though, suffered a severe crunch from the croc's canines that clenched as the scent of hot marinara containing too much oregano wafted up his nostrils, and the cigar fell from his lips before it even met a flame. He spat out the portion that remained behind his teeth, and withdrew another from inside his coat. The cigar merely touched his lips before another meatball struck it from his fingers.
The man turned a furrowed brow to the source of attack, his sad eyeballs following it. They rest on a poorly-hidden, pink-feathered man in the alley of the restaurant out of which Crocodile had stepped.
"Fufufufu- you shouldn't waste so much food, there, Crocodile!" laughed Doflamingo. He slurped a meatball off of the plate of Crocodile's uneaten spaghetti he held at eye level, and swallowed it whole. Shortly after, his grin turned into a gag, and he discarded the plate of pasta in a loud crack against the nearest wall.
Crocodile did not respond.
When Doflamingo, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth, waddled up to Crocodile's shoulder, the latter turned his gaze back to lighting a cigar.
"Oi, Croco- allow me to cook you a meal, eh? Fufufufufu- one that will satisfy your refined palate."
Crocodile curled his lip, exhaling through gritted teeth the first puff of smoke he had managed since the assault of meatballs.
"I insist," Doflamingo hissed through the cloud of Crocodile's smoke.
"I don't fraternize with birds," Crocodile said coolly and pulled his cigar from his lips to gaze at it gratefully.
"Fufufufufu! Careful, there, Crocodile!" he bellowed, "I'm a bird of prey." Doflamingo bent his long neck lower to meet Crocodile's gaze. "What do you say?" He tilted an ear towards him, awaiting a favorable answer.
"What," Crocodile mused, "is on the menu, pray tell?"
"Great!" Doflamingo threw out his feathered arms to full wingspan before bowing with one open hand outstretched. "Right this way!"
Crocodile's eyes rolled as he put his attention back on the cigar. "I said, 'what is on the menu,' bird?"
"Not important." Doflamingo plucked the cigar from the grey lips that emitted a growl, which rather turned into a bark when Crocodile snapped, "Don't fool around with me, insolent bird!"
Doflamingo was already a block away.
"Idiot." Crocodile inhaled calmly through tense nostrils and reached into his coat for yet another cigar- which wasn't there. The pink man had cleaned him out.
Crocodile swirled into solidity in front of Doflamingo now 6 blocks further. The latter man skirted to a halt before him, grinning from ear to ear.
"Finally! Glad you could join me," Doflamingo chuckled. "Quick learner, you."
Crocodile made a go at the cigar but Doflamingo jerked it out of his reach and flicked a finger under the sandman's chin. "Don't spoil your appetite, Croco~chan." Crocodile recoiled from the man's touch but lunged again for the still-burning cigar. He snatched it this time, but Doflamingo looped a long arm around his waist and slung him over his broad shoulder. Continuing on his stroll, Doflamingo laughed as he felt Crocodile attempt to counter his binding strings. The sandman had no choice but to watch the cigar in his own hand smolder from a distance. The birdman's waddling gait swung Crocodile from side to side, loosening strands of hair to fall into his face, and accumulations of ash to crumble from the neglected cigar. It was merely a stump by the time Doflamingo slowed his trot, nearing a tall, cast iron gate. Immediately upon feeling Doflamingo release control of his limbs, Crocodile swirled into sand, reforming behind the man, and not without ashing the stump of tobacco into the pink feathers. Doflamingo did not seem to notice.
"Welcome to my home! Fufufu- one of them," Doflamingo clucked. The massive gate opened to a small, fenced, and barren yard of grey dirt surrounding a faded two-story brick structure that stood alone, far from the other rowhouses on the block. Crocodile smoothed his loose hair strands back into place. He scoffed.
"What are you trying to pull, Doflamingo? Even scum like you wouldn't live in such a shack."
"Thank you, Crocy! I'm flattered!" Doflamingo cooed, "Just wait til you see the dining room!" He gave Crocodile a rough shove in the lower back that hurled the man forward and for that, he spun around and mashed the cigar butt into the pink coat, singeing several feathers on the sleeve.
"OI, CROCO, HAVE SOME MANNERS." Doflamingo strung up Crocodile's limbs again and walked him up to the building and through the doorway. Three surveillance snails were sliding along the façade and appeared to snicker at the sandman as the two passed below their spying eyes.
Inside, a short hallway cluttered with hat racks, umbrella stands, and more surveillance snails led to a single door opposite them. Crouching beneath the low ceiling, Doflamingo opened it and motioned for Crocodile to enter, which he did, on his own. A staircase descended immediately past the doorway, and below, he could see a warm light flickering over a tiled floor. A servant awaited them at the bottom of the stairs and offered to take Crocodile's coat, to which he declined. Doflamingo tossed his own coat at a bench that framed the bottom edge of an enormous, Doflamingo-sized mirror in the foyer. Crocodile scoffed and reached for a cigar before remembering that he had none. A low growl escaped from his stomach.
"It won't be long!" Doflamingo replied. "Make yourself at home. Fufufufufufu!" He exited the large hallway with a flourish. Crocodile cocked an eyebrow at the servant struggling to lift Doflamingo's massive coat and wondered what other monstrosities awaited.