Passing Years
Prologue
'Mom, I know we don't have the money for me to get through college-' I interrupted him.
'Of course we do!' I said, even though we didn't, not really. I hadn't managed to get a good job for years, and we barely made ends meet. Alex helped by working in the nearby garage, but it was only just enough.
'Mom, look, I know we don't. It's alright. I know what I want to do…' I wasn't sure I liked the sound of that. He was clearly hesitant about telling me whatever it was. Alex and I were close; we didn't have anyone else. We'd moved around a lot and he'd never really had a close friend.
'What do you want to do?' I asked quietly. His dark, sinful eyes stared seriously back into my blue ones.
'I want to go into the Army.' I closed my eyes. 'I'll get through college and serve the five years. If I don't like it, it's not that long and it'll get me through college. If I do like it… I might stay.'
'Please,' I whispered, 'please don't do this.' Alex pulled me close and wrapped his arms around me.
'I have to. I know it's the only way I'm going to get through college and I need to do that to get a good job.' I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him tight. 'Why don't you want me to go?'
'My Dad was in the army. I remember, when I was small, he used to go off on missions and I would wonder if he'd ever come back. My mother did, too. I saw what it did to her. She tried to hide it but she worried a lot more than I ever did. He got out when I was eight, but I can still remember watching him drive away, tears rolling silently down my mother's face. I don't know if I can bear that with you. I can't lose you, Alex.'
His fingers wiped my tears gently away. 'I will do everything I can to come back to you, mom. I have to go to college. And this is the only way I can. You have to let me go.' I stared into his eyes, so like his father's. He was right. He had to go.
I took a deep breath. 'All right. But promise me, promise me you'll come back. You're all I have, Alejandro, and I can't lose you.' He hugged me close.
'I'll come back. I promise. And we've got the whole summer before I leave, then four years of college. But there's… there's something I want to do before I go to college.' I drew back, almost sure I knew what he was going to ask. 'I know you don't like to talk about him, but I really want to find my father before I leave for college. I want to know who he is, I want him to know me.' I closed my eyes and shuddered. Then I opened them and stared straight into Alex's eyes.
'Ok. We can go and find your father.' I knew I was setting myself up to have the tiny pieces of my heart that remained completely shattered, but I didn't care. The yearning to see him had only grown over time and I just couldn't fight it any more.
Chapter OneI stepped off the plane in Newark and looked around. I was home, or nearly. Alex walked confidently at my side, looking around with wide eyes. We hadn't been anywhere this big since he'd been a small boy. We collected our luggage and made our way to the car rental desk.
'May I help you?' the receptionist asked. I nodded absently. She cleared her throat and smiled when I didn't speak.
'Sorry. I have a reservation under the name Arevallis.' The receptionist clicked a few keys on her keyboard and smiled again. I hate people that smile that much.
'Everything seems to be in order and you've already paid, is that correct?' she asked. I nodded. 'Right then. I'll just get someone to take you through if you can just sign these forms for me.' She handed me a sheaf of papers and picked up a phone. I went through the forms and signed the relevant bits, handing them back to her as she put the phone down. 'Someone will be with you in a moment,' she said.
A minute later, a young man appeared, probably only a couple of years older than Alex. He didn't smile, but he wasn't frowning either as he led us through and showed us to our car. He handed over the keys, ran over the instructions for returning the car and left us to it. Alex lifted our bags into the trunk and joined me in the front of the car.
I didn't say a word as I pulled onto the highway and headed in the direction of Trenton. Everything was so familiar, bringing back so many memories. Dusk was just barely beginning to fall and lights were starting to appear in the land around us. Traffic was heavy, with a lot of horn honking and hand signals. I sighed.
'You ok, mom?' Alex asked.
'Yeah. I just- I haven't been here for nearly eighteen years. I wonder, has it all changed? Who's died? Who's married? I have so many memories…' I trailed off into silence. Alex was staring at me, I could feel it. That's when I remembered I hadn't told him I grew up here. I'd told him some stories of my life before I had him, but I'd never mentioned where I'd lived. I hadn't wanted to be found.
'You grew up here?' Alex asked eventually. I nodded slowly. 'Why did you never tell me?'
'I wanted to try and forget. I didn't want to take the chance that I might be found. The less people who knew where I was from, the smaller that chance was.' I shrugged. 'You didn't really need to know the town. It wouldn't have made what I told you funnier or truer or anything like that. And you didn't have the reasons I did to keep it from slipping out.'
'So is my dad someone you grew up with?' he asked after a moment. I snorted.
'Hardly. I only knew him a few years before…' I trailed off. Before we slept together, and you came along, I didn't add. There wasn't really anything else to say after that, so most of the rest of the drive was silent. When we were heading into Trenton Alex spoke again.
'Where are we staying?' he asked.
'Well… Trenton doesn't really have hotels, and the only motels we could afford are the really seedy kind, so… we're going home,' I finished softly.
'Home?'
'Home,' I repeated. 'My parents'.' God help me. I knew they were still alive. I had a contact who had contact with the Burg, still. An old friend from school, one who'd moved to New York to be a lawyer. She still spoke to her parents and she'd told me as much of the gossip and news from the Burg as she found out from them – at least the bits pertaining to my family.
We didn't speak again until I pulled up outside my parents' house. It was still as I remembered it, the paint a little older, the porch sagging a little more. There were a few toys strewn on the lawn. They probably belonged to Angie's two children. She'd had a boy some three years ago, and a girl a year after that. I knew that much, but no more. We hadn't sat there long before the door opened and a grown woman appeared. She had a toddler on one hip. Angie.
My hands were shaking as I opened my car door and got out. It was seven o'clock, and dinner would be just finishing. I heard Alex getting out behind me as I made my way slowly up the path. I saw Angie's eyes widen as she recognised me.
'It's Aunt Stephanie!' she yelled over her shoulder. There was a stampede for the door and I was suddenly smothered under my mother and Valerie. They were screaming and crying and laughing, pulling me inside. I extricated myself and grabbed Alex's hand, pulling him in after me. Everyone stepped back and stared at him.
'Mom, Dad, Valerie, this is my son. Alejandro.' You could have knocked them over with a feather. You could have heard a pin drop. Alex shifted nervously and I wasn't surprised. He wasn't Burg. Not in any way at all.
'Stephanie,' my mom whispered. 'Where have you been?' I shrugged, dropping her gaze.
'I've been here and there. I'm… I'm sorry. I wanted to come back, but I just couldn't.' My mom stepped forward and hugged me. I could see the tears in her eyes as she stepped back and I stepped into my dad's arms as Alex succumbed to my mother's embrace.
We moved into the living room, and I could see the remains of dinner lying forgotten on the table. Valerie and Angie were there, but Mary Alice was away with her boyfriend. Valerie was afraid she was going to turn out like me, I could see it. The phone rang before we could really start talking. My mom left to get it.
'Hello Mrs Ciak,' I heard her say. I scrambled off the sofa, knowing that Mrs Ciak would be wanting to know what all the screaming had been about and who had just arrived.
'Mom! Don't tell her,' I hissed into her other ear. Mom covered the phone and looked at me. 'I don't want this all over the Burg until I can see the people I need to see first,' I said. I cut my eyes to the back of Alex's head, just visible through the door. My mom followed my gaze, then nodded.
'Oh, that,' my mom said. 'It was just Mary Alice. You know her, all that screaming. She's just come back from a holiday with her boyfriend.' I will never cease to be amazed by my mother's ability to lie. She doesn't use it often, but when she does, you wouldn't know it. Unless, of course, you're the one that told her to lie.
I went back into the living room and my mom joined us a minute later. For the next hour and a half, I gave as much detail as I felt I could on where I had been for the past eighteen years. But I was tired and it wasn't long before I was yawning. Alex had been yawning for the last several minutes by that point, too. Valerie and Angie hugged us both and left, Angie taking her two kids with her.
'As glad as I am to finally be back home, I really have to sleep,' I told my mom. 'Can Alex and I stay here tonight?'
'Of course,' my mom said kindly. 'I can put sheets on your old bed for Alex, and you can take mother's old room.' I knew Grandma Mazur had died nearly four years ago. I'd spent a week crying and moping when I'd heard.
'I don't think I can sleep in there,' I said. 'Alex can take my room and I'll be fine on the couch.' My mother looked doubtfully at me. 'Really! I'll be fine. It's not like I've never slept on it before.' Although I had been eighteen years younger when I had. Still, I couldn't sleep in Grandma Mazur's bed.
'I'll take the couch, mom. You don't have to,' Alex said. I shook my head.
'No, it's alright. Like I said, I've done it before. I'll be fine.' Alex shrugged, knowing he wasn't going to get anywhere by arguing with me. My mother had a strange look on her face but she dismissed it and went to find blankets and sheets.
'I'm glad you're back, pumpkin,' my dad said, standing up and stretching. I hugged him again, just because I could.
'So am I,' I whispered. 'I just couldn't stay here any longer. I know you and mom were devastated and I didn't want to hurt you, but I didn't want him to find me, either. And if he could have, he would have gotten it out of you. I couldn't risk it.'
'I know, Steph, I know,' my dad whispered, hugging me tightly. He looked at Alex. 'You look exactly like your father,' he commented. Alex blushed. It's hard to see in his dark skin, but I could tell.
'He does, doesn't he?' I was scared of how he was going to take it, discovering he had a son he'd never met. 'Whenever he asked me what he looked like, I told him to look in the mirror.' It was true. Alex had inherited almost nothing of my looks, they were all his father's. It had broken my heart more every day to see it. To see how he must have looked when he was young.
My mother walked back in and my dad and I slowly separated. It had felt good to be held by him again. 'Right, everything's sorted out,' she declared, handing me a blanket. 'We're going to bed now. We'll see you in the morning. It's good to have you back, Stephanie,' she said, hugging me again before disappearing up the stairs with Dad. I sank into the couch, totally drained.
'Well. That went better than it might have done,' I said. I looked at Alex. 'How do you like my family?'
'They're… not quite what I expected. They talk a lot more than you do,' he said. I smiled what I suppose might have been called wistfully. On another person.
'I used to talk that much. But when… when I left, I didn't have anyone to talk to or anything to talk about. After a while, I just got into the habit of not saying much. Your father says even less.' We sat in silence for a few minutes as the house settled into silence. 'Come on. I'll show you where you're sleeping.'
Alex and I went upstairs and used the bathroom. I sat on my bed waiting for him, looking around at my old room. It hadn't changed, and it still made me feel about fifteen again. Alex came in and sat next to me.
'So this was your room,' he murmured, looking around. I nodded when his gaze landed on me again. 'Are you sure you don't want the bed?' I laughed.
'Alex, I feel about fifteen in here. And I have a son who's older than that. I don't especially want to feel fifteen and know you're downstairs. That would just be weird.' Alex laughed too, and stripped down to his boxers. Dad was right, he did look a lot like his father. Right down to the muscles rippling under his smooth skin.
'Mom, stop looking at me like that!' I blushed.
'I'm sorry. My dad was right, you do look like your father.' Alex shook his head and climbed into the bed. 'I'll see you in the morning. Sleep well,' I said, slipping out of the room. I was tired and emotionally drained, but I wasn't sure I could sleep. After a couple of hours on the couch I went back upstairs and sat on the edge of my bed, watching Alex sleep. He half woke. 'Shh. Go back to sleep, baby,' I whispered. He rolled over, giving me a better view of his beautiful face. I watched the shadows play on it for a while before I went back downstairs and slept.
Chapter TwoBreakfast the next morning was a quiet meal. Alex was just as bad as me in the morning, completely the opposite of his father. For which I had had much cause to be thankful. I didn't think I could have dealt with a cheerful son every morning for the past seventeen years on my own.
'What are you doing today?' mom asked as she cleared everything away. I thought for a moment.
'I have to go… go find Alex's Dad before it gets around to him that I've come back. That wouldn't be fair to him,' I said, rather unsteadily. Alex glanced at me but I didn't return his look. Mom nodded.
'You're right. Well, good luck,' she said.
'I don't know how long we'll be. Probably a while. I'll see you later,' I said. Alex followed me outside. I knew I wouldn't be able to get to anyone else before they found out I was back. There were too many curious neighbours and word traveled too fast.
It was a silent drive to RangeMan. There was nothing to say. Alex knew where we were going. I knew where we were going. I wasn't sure I wanted to go, but Alex wanted to meet his father and I wasn't going to let him go alone. That wouldn't be fair to either of them. I pulled up outside and turned the engine off and just sat, looking, for a while.
'Um… where are we?' Alex asked. I nodded towards the building.
'That's your dad's company. I'm assuming he'll be here but if he isn't, someone in there will know where he is.' I took a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh. 'Come on. Let's go in.' I opened the door and slid out of the car, Alex walking around to join me. My hands were shaking again as we walked into the lobby. There were two huge, muscley, black-clad men sitting behind the reception desk. I didn't know either of them, not that I had expected to. Their eyes widened when they saw Alex but they didn't comment.
'Can I help you?' one of them said. I glanced around. Nothing had changed. I hadn't planned what I was going to say to get in here.
'Um… I'm Stephanie… Stephanie Plum.' I felt Alex jump. I'd never used my real name with him before. 'Is… is Ranger here?' The guys had been staring at Alex. I guess he looked too like Ranger for them to mistake the relationship. But when I said my name their eyes switched back to me. Guess they'd heard of me. One of them opened their mouth but the elevator pinged behind me. I turned around to see Tank walk out. He stopped dead as he stared at me.
'Bombshell? Sweet Jesus,' he breathed. Then he caught sight of Alex. 'Holy Shit. Steph…?' He looked back at me, a question in his eyes. I nodded. Tank crossed the lobby in a few strides and swept me into his arms. 'It's good to see you, Bombshell!' he exclaimed. 'God, it's boring without you. You know, I don't think we've lost a single car since you left.' I laughed, put at ease by Tank's enthusiastic reception, at least once he got over the shock.
'Car?' Alex asked. Tank looked at him with pitying eyes, but he was grinning, too.
'Your mother used to make a habit of blowing up or otherwise destroying cars. The guys used to bet on how the next one would die. It wasn't just her own cars either; Ranger's, too.' Alex switched his gaze to me and I just shrugged.
'He's right,' I said. 'I was a bounty hunter. I always seemed to have some crazy after me and they liked to blow up my cars. Insurance was a nightmare.'
'Stephanie, just how much does he know about you?' Tank demanded, crossing his arms and glaring at me. Eighteen years ago I would have glared right back. Now I just sighed.
'Most, but not everything,' I admitted. 'I didn't want to take the chance that Ranger would find me. I thought if Alex started telling people that his mother blew up cars… well, I mean, how many female bounty hunters are there that blew up cars on a practically daily basis? If it had reached the wrong ears…'
'And why didn't you want Ranger to find you?' Tank asked. His tone had darkened. I'd figured the guys wouldn't be too pleased with me for this.
'He broke my heart, Tank,' I whispered. 'He wouldn't let me in and he told me to go back to Morelli. I couldn't deal with seeing him for a while after that. Then when I found out I was pregnant, I didn't want to tell him and risk him wanting to have nothing to do with me. I don't… don't think I could have survived that.' Tank stared hard at me for a minute and then nodded.
'So why come back now?' he asked. I glanced at Alex.
'It appears my son inherited more than just looks from Ranger. Despite having none of you guys' influence, he wants to go into the Army after it's paid his way through college. But he wanted to find his dad first.' Tank grinned at Alex and I could tell he was pleased that he wanted to go into the Army. I hadn't really expected anything else; it was such a big part of these guys' lives.
'I suppose you should come up and see him… and I'll warn you now, even I have no idea how he's going to react.' I nodded and followed Tank to the elevator. Tank glared at the two men at the desk. 'Not a word,' he said darkly just as the doors shut. Tank pressed the button for the fifth floor and the elevator began to move.
'Does my father really own all this?' Alex asked. I smiled.
'Yes, unless he's sold it since I left.' I looked at Tank, who shook his head. 'I told you he owned a security company. This is it.' Alex nodded and the elevator stopped, the doors opening slowly. Tank led us down the corridor and we stopped outside a door that had a black plaque with R. Manoso on it in gold letters.
'Ready?' Tank asked. I took yet another deep breath and nodded. Tank pushed the door open into Ranger's office.
Chapter Three
Ranger looked up and glanced at Tank before his eyes locked with mine. All the blood drained from my face and his. He looked exactly the same as always, except for a few more lines around his eyes and mouth. And there was still that chemical attraction between us, just as strong or even stronger.
'Babe?' God, I've waited so long to hear his voice again, hear him call me that. Alex even sounds a lot like Ranger, but he just doesn't have the accent. Tank stepped inside and pulled me in with him as Ranger stood up. I pulled Alex in. Ranger froze when he saw him and just stared.
'Ranger… I'm so sorry. Please forgive me…' It wasn't just my hands that were shaking any more, it was all of me. Tank was hovering nearby, watching carefully, but I had eyes only for Ranger as his took in everything about his son, from the silky, straight black hair to the mocha latte skin. Everything was Ranger at eighteen, or what I suspected Ranger had looked like at eighteen, since I hadn't known him then.
'Explain.' I saw Alex shoot me a nearly amused glance and knew he was remembering my comment that Ranger didn't talk much. Ranger switched his eyes to me and crossed his arms over his chest.
'I didn't realise I was pregnant when I left,' I started quietly. 'When you left that morning, Ranger… it broke my heart. I thought Joe had broken it when I was sixteen and he left me on the floor of the bakery but it was nothing compared to what you did. You left me with nothing, Ranger, nothing except Alex. Even when I realised I was pregnant I couldn't come back. I couldn't let myself… I knew it would kill me. I gave you everything, and you gave me nothing. I couldn't stay here, seeing you whenever you deigned to appear or break into my apartment. I… I just couldn't.'
I was crying by the time I finished. My heart was still broken. Eighteen years wasn't enough time to fix it. I didn't think a lifetime would be. Alex pulled me into his arms, and I caught a glimpse of the glare he was sending Ranger. I choked on a laugh at that, but it turned into a sob. Alex's hands soothed my back.
I never even heard Ranger move. One minute I was in Alex's arms and the next I was being hauled into Ranger's and he was crushing me to his chest. I didn't hesitate. I wrapped my arms around him and held on with everything I had. Dimly I realised that Ranger was whispering to me.
'I'm sorry, Babe, I'm so sorry. I had no idea that you felt that way… I thought you would go back to Morelli again and I couldn't bear to have you wake up next to me, knowing that it wasn't going to last. I'm so sorry. I looked for you, when you left… God, Babe, I missed you so much.' That's not all he said, but it's all I understood. The rest of it was in Spanish. I pulled back gently.
'I didn't mean to hurt you, Ranger,' I whispered. I stroked his cheek gently, as the pieces of my heart started to knit back together, only to break afresh at the pain I saw in his eyes. 'Know that I never intended that. I just couldn't stay… It seemed like you only wanted me for a quick fuck and I couldn't deal with that.'
'Never,' Ranger growled. 'That was never what you were to me, Babe.' He cupped my face in both hands and smiled at me. I would have said it was almost tender… but this is Ranger we're talking about. 'I love you. Always will.' I stared blankly at him for a minute, and then I smiled and I felt my heart begin to knit back together.
'I… I love you too,' I managed to whisper. Ranger smiled brightly and then his lips were on mine, and every hormone I had that hadn't had any action in the last eighteen years was desperate for some. Ranger's fingers slid into my hair and tipped my head back, his tongue slipping between my lips. I moaned.
Tank cleared his throat loudly and I jumped back. I had completely forgotten we weren't alone. Jesus Christ, my son had just seen that! Our son. If the heat in my cheeks was any indication, I was bright red. I glanced at Alex and he was as red as his skin allowed him to be. Ranger, of course, didn't appear bothered.
'It took you guys one hell of a long time to admit that,' Tank commented dryly. I laughed, and was surprised when Ranger joined me – after slugging Tank on the arm. Alex relaxed a bit.
'Going to introduce me, Babe?' Ranger asked. I hadn't even thought about that. How the hell are you supposed to introduce your son to his father?
'Um… Ranger… Alejandro. Alex… Ranger… Ricardo Manoso… Batman… your father, basically.' Alex raised a brow when I said Batman. 'He used to run around the streets cleaning up all the human garbage,' I explained, shrugging. 'He dressed in black… as he evidently still does, he drove expensive black cars that I'm not sure were entirely legal, and no one knew where he lived.'
'I didn't run, Babe,' Ranger said.
'No, only when you were forcing me to,' I muttered. Ranger laughed again and wrapped his arms around my waist. I snuggled into him, glad to finally be held in a non-sexual way, in a way that was completely tender and loving.
'Why now, Babe?' Ranger asked. I tipped my head back and looked at him, smiling down at me. It warmed something inside me and I was finally happy. I smiled back.
'I don't have enough money to put Alex through college, so he decided he would join the Army and let them pay his way through. He's much too like you in that respect,' I teased lightly. Ranger smiled wider. 'He wanted to find you before he went to college and I couldn't let him come alone.' Ranger gave a short nod to show his acceptance of my explanation.
'Tank, you're in charge until further notice. I don't even want to be contacted in an emergency, you can handle it.' Tank paled slightly but nodded. 'Come on, Babe, Alex. We're going home.'
'The Batcave?' I asked hopefully. Ranger's lips twitched and he gave a short nod. 'Forever?' I asked again.
'Forever, Babe.'
A.N. I wrote this a while ago, and now that I've just reread it I'm thinking maybe a sequel could be found... if you'd like one, drop me a review and I'll see what I can do.