I don't own Danny Phantom or Doctor Who. Basically just my musings put into a story in an AU of my AU. Ignoring TDotD. Logic? Who needs it? Part serious and part crack!

Danny was more than glad to park the TARDIS back in his room, knowing he would finally get a good night's rest. His room in the ship was nice and all, but his bed was his bed. However, as Danny stepped out of the TARDIS, he noticed that his bed was already occupied by Jazz, a fob watch in her hand and a stern look on her face.

"Where have you been?" she demanded, standing up and holding the watch out for Danny to take. "Found it on the floor," she explained.

Danny sighed and accepted the item, fiddling with it as he answered. "Clockwork showed me this box; he said it belonged to his friend before he died, and he wanted me to have it. It's a space ship, Jazz. It even travels in ti-"

Before Danny could finish, he accidentally flipped the cover of the watch opened. Instantly, the teen's eyes were drawn to it, and his slightly unsettled face turned into a deep frown.

Jazz waved a hand in front of her brother's face, not really sure how a simple watch could capture his attention so much. "Danny?" she asked, her forehead wrinkling in worry.

"My name isn't Danny," he stated simply, his eyes filling with tears. "I used the chamaleon arch just as I regenerated last, and the combination turned me into a baby to be adopted. No, I am not Danny Fenton. I am the Doctor."

The only thing Jazz could do was blink in shock. "Danny, what are you talking about?" she demanded, her voice almost shaking with fear. Her little brother was sounding crazy, crazier than that time he saw Youngblood when no one else could.

"My name is not Danny; I am the Doctor!" he insisted, the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "I am from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation Kasterborous, I am thirteen hundred years old, and I have two hearts." Noting Jazz's concern, he added in, "Don't believe me? Just listen."

Slowly, Jazz leaned down and put her ear to Danny's chest- first to the right side, and then the left. She wasn't quite sure how she could tell, but it was there. Two heartbeats. Two hearts.

Danny- no, the Doctor- laughed a sad little laugh ane sat down on the bed, putting his head in his hands. Jazz sat down in his desk chair, waiting for the alien to speak.

Finally, the Doctor looked up. "I left my planet long ago; things were being run poorly there. At first, I had three companions: Susan, Barbara, and Ian." A little smile came to his face. "They left, and over the years, I had new companions. Sarah was... amazing. She was such a wonderful girl. She went on to be come a reporter. And I regenerated and had more companions and-"

"What do you mean 'regenerated?'" Jazz asked.

The Doctor shrugged a little, not entirely sure how to describe it. "When people like me- Time Lords- start dying, they... change. Everything about them becomes different. New face, new attitude, new habits. First time I was a stuffy old man; second, I was a cosmic hobo; third, I was finally a proper gentleman, exiled to Earth but a gentleman nevertheless. Fourth had this silly little scarf that went on for miles, the fifth wore a piece of celery on his lapel to check for any poisonous air, the sixth... Oh, I'm surprised I didn't get thrown in a madhouse during my sixth regeneration. The seventh was a real McCoy, you know?" Before Jazz could answer, he shook his head. "No, no, you wouldn't know. Before your time. Anyway, the eighth was a bit Edwardian, the tenth very stoic, loved leather jackets, the eleventh in love with love, the twelfth an oversized kindergartner, the thirteenth all but back to the grumpy old man I was at first, and then... me." His tears were gone now, replaced by a false smile as he babbled on.

"But Doctor," Jazz began, "you never mentioned-"

"And the companions!" the Doctor interrupted, a cheeky grin on his face. "I already told you about four of them, but the ones that came later, knockouts, all of them! Rose Tyler, the defender of the Earth, and Captain Jack, the Face of Bo- and those two were just the tenth regeneration. The eleventh got to see Rose for a little while longer before..." The Doctor pursed his lips, eyes sad once more before being replaced by fake cheer. "Then there was Martha, a doctor, but not like me. I never gave her a key to the TARDIS... I should have. The woman was in love with me, and I wasn't exactly the best to her. Then there was Donna, so compassionate, so human. You're a lovely lot, you know, always caring so much for one another..." The Doctor's voice trailed off, bouncing back and forth between joy and sorrow. Just as Jazs thought the Time Lord would break down, he smiled again.

"The twelfth regeneration saw the Ponds: Amy and Rory. Lovely couple, even though Rory the Roman kept dying. Always came back though. Nothing could keep him from his wife. And their daughter, River, hell in high heels. Married her, I think." The Doctor shook his head; his time with River was long over. Even her database form stopped seeing him after a while. "Then was Clara, the impossible girl. My impossible girl. She jumped into my time stream to save me; I had to fish her back out. She stayed with me through my thirteenth regeneration, but eventually she had to leave as well."

Jazz listened, realizing it was much more of the Doctor venting than wanting her to know everything. Once he finally stopped blabbering, she mentioned what had been niggling at her mind almost since the Doctor started talking. "You never said anything about the ninth. You just jumped from eight to ten."

Instantly, the Doctor's smile dropped. "My ninth regeneration is not the Doctor," he explained. "He was a coward and a horrible man. I'm simply glad I got rid of him when I did."

"What did he do?"

The Doctor stood up and walked to the window, leaning on the frame for support. After a moment of what Jazz thought to be deliberation, he turned around, that goofy grin back on his face. "Apparently, before Rose had to leave, she got pregnant with my child," he declared. "Last I saw her, she said I could meet my daughter if I could find a way to get to her little alternate universe without tearing all of space and time apart... and you're gonna help me do just that."

Jazz's eyebrows shot up. This was going to be interesting.