Radioactive - Imagine Dragons
I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones
Enough to make my systems blow
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Welcome to the new age, to the new age
Whoa, whoa, I'm radioactive, radioactive
Whoa, whoa, I'm radioactive, radioactive
I raise my flags, don my clothes
It's a revolution, I suppose
We're painted red to fit right in
Whoa
I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus
This is it, the apocalypse
Whoa
"Elena," whispers called.
"Elena" another whisper purred.
As I opened my eyes slowly, in front of me I saw Damon smiling peacefully on my bed as he lay on his side and propped his head up with his hand.
"Won't you ever leave me alone?" I whispered, smiling, obviously not upset.
"Oh, that's not what you were saying a couple of seconds ago."
"Oh, really. What did I say?" I blushed, but I was still too tired to realize the gravity of his words.
"You were calling my name. And you know how it works, you call, I come. I'm easy like that." He grinned.
"Damon. This has to stop." I sang, not sounding to convinced.
"Tell me to leave Elena, and I'll go. I will." Damon's face turned serious.
As the room turned tense I couldn't speak any more, all I could do was watch how serious his face looked and all the pain that I caused him. I pet his face with the softest of touches and stared at his face, fascinated.
"I love you, Elena. I won't be selfish with you. If you want me gone-" Damon started to say, but instead of moving away, he moved closer until his lips were on mine. I closed my eyes. It was the softest of kisses, because I was too terrified of giving in. What about Stefan?
I groaned as I waved the thoughts away and finally succumbed.
I giggled as he bit my neck, and opened my eyes.
But this time, it was as if I had really opened my eyes and things were entirely different.
"Elena," Stefan moaned.
"Stefan?" I quickly sat up and sort of awkwardly pushed him away.
"Elena what's wrong?" Stefan asked, looking at me with actual worry.
"Nothing, sorry. I thought I was just dreaming about you, but when I realized I was actually awake I felt really hungry. I freaked out, sorry." Stefan reached for my hand and my shoulders stiffened slightly, but I don't think he really noticed.
It was just a hallucination. A dream. Fuck. What am I gonna do?
"Do you maybe want a blood bag, or something?" Stefan asked awkwardly. I knew it was hard for him to ask and I smiled at his effort.
"Um, I can't really keep that down." I said lowly and nervously. I didn't want to make this anymore awkward than it already was but I didn't want to lie anymore.
"We, well, we can try the animal thing again. I mean it's been a couple days, you should be adjusting better by now." Stefan smiled, trying to perk up my nervous mood.
"Um," I bit my lip from shouting, That's a horrible idea, Stefan. Don't you understand? I can't stand it. "Sure." I nodded sweetly.
"Perfect," Stefan sat up and kissed my lips chastely.
"Well, I have to go. I told Caroline I'd meet her around now. But how does hunting at noonish sound?" Stefan started to stand up and crossed his arms as he waited for my response.
"Perfect." I nodded again.
"Alright, see you then. I love you, Elena." Stefan kissed me again.
"Love you too, Stefan." I said not only uncomfortably, but also like it had sucked all of my energy out.
I tried to pretend really I did, because I love Stefan. But this whole, 'let's have elena learn to compel bunnies and squirrels so she can eat them' was driving me more and more insane. I almost killed Matt, my ex-boyfriend and longtime friend yesterday because I couldn't control my thirst. More bunny eating was not only getting me nowhere but driving me insane.
"I can't stand this!" I yelled as I sat up and started pacing around the room in my pj's. Way too upset to continue sitting.
I couldn't stand the rage that I felt. It was overwhelming. And though the motorcycle ride yesterday was all cute and dandy, this thirst wasn't going away. And it was consuming me.
I ran to the bathroom to calm down and look at myself in the mirror. "You're going to be fine, Elena." I whispered to myself as I made tight fists and was prepared to break everything in my room.
"You're a vampire now. You just have to learn the right way to be one. And I'm gonna teach you." Damon had said.
I shook my head at the joy I felt as I remembered the words. If I was going to be honest, I knew that Damon was the only person who could understand me now.
Stefan ignored it, and if he saw me, what I was really like-
He might hate me. And I can't stand the thought of him actually hating me.
I really wish that I could have the all-powerful discipline he has but – I don't. And if someone doesn't help me soon, things are not going to be pretty. I just know it.
I walked over to my closet as I remembered how kind Damon was as he tried to help me forget how terrible I felt for hurting Matt's feelings.
"I'm not gonna be able to sleep, Damon." I whispered, exasperated and still shaken over the incident that had only occurred 5 minutes prior.
"You can, Elena. You just have to not think about it. Just turn the pain off." Damon stopped as we reached my bedroom and looked at me seriously, we were relatively close to each other, and his scent was threatening to make me forget everything…. but I stubbornly kept my ground
"No, Damon." I shook my head. "I don't want to turn off my humanity."
"You don't have to, Elena." Damon whispered.
"You just have to understand that you're very new. You can't control your actions. Believe me, you're doing much better than you think."
"I'm not doing better than you." I sighed. "Plus, I'm still starving." All of a sudden, the mood in the room changed and all I could look at was Damon's arm. Before I knew what I was doing I grabbed it and pet the center, where a scar should have been, but wasn't there.
"No, Elena." Damon snatched his hand away.
"I wasn'-t" I tried to lie and save myself.
"Yes, you were. And that's fine. Normally, I'd agree with you. But I don't want Stefan to go punch me in the face again-"
"He punched you?" I asked, all of a sudden alarmed.
"I'd much not rather get into all the details." Damon rolled his eyes. "Back to Matt."
"Damon. I just forgot, for two seconds. Why'd you have to bring him up?" I sighed as I walked towards my closet, grabbed my clothes, and changed.
"I'm doing things that don't make sense, Damon." I slugged towards my bed. "And I'm terrified because it's like I have no control over the things I do anymore." I whispered as I sat on my bed in my pj's and looked at him.
"Things will get better. And you know how I know? Look at Stefan. He pillaged towns – now look at him." Damon smirked nervously, trying to look composed but scared for my reaction.
"Not helping." I laughed. "I don't want to pillage towns before I learn control, Damon."
"You won't, Elena. I would never let you." Damon whispered.
I looked at him as he walked towards me and I felt my non-existent heart trying to beat.
"Thank you, Damon." I whispered as I slid under the covers and yawned, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with exhaustion.
"You always know what to say." I smiled as he stood next to me and looked down at me.
"Comes with my super awesome personality." He shrugged as he smiled softly.
"Goodnight, Damon." I closed my eyes.
"Goodnight, Elena." Damon whispered as he pet my face with the softest of touches, and that was the last thing I felt before I woke up.
As I walked down the stairs I heard voices, and stopped walking to eavesdrop.
"It was really fun, Damon. Thanks." I heard Jeremy laugh.
"Don't mention it." I heard Damon reply.
"Does this mean I'm part of Team Badass?" I heard Jeremy grin.
"God, Jeremy, don't ever say that again." I heard Damon say with disgust.
"Whatever." Jeremy laughed. "What's my next mission?"
I noticed that Damon heard me breathing, because he stopped talking. So I decided to start walking again, to make it seem like I hadn't been eavesdropping all this time.
"You want a mission?" I walked into the kitchen and watched Damon smirk as I walked in. "Check out that April girl. I must say I'm suspicious about that whole Pastor Young thing. Check what she's been up to, who she's been hanging out with. That sort of thing."
"Yes sir." Jeremy saluted Damon. "Hey, Elena." Jeremy nodded.
"Hi, Jer. What's this talk about missions?" I smiled at him.
"Oh, silly guy stuff. You wouldn't want to know." Jeremy squinted his nose and I could feel his heart race as he lied, trying to keep a secret from me.
"Jeremy…" I sang and looked at him suspiciously.
"Sorry 'Lena, no time. Gotta go. Bye." Jeremy shortly said as he ran to the door. "Don't get into too much trouble kids!" He yelled right before slamming the door.
"How long have you been here for?" I asked Damon, casually opening the fridge and pulling out a blood bag.
"Ah, 5 minutes." He shrugged.
"God, I'm starving." I groaned as I pierced the bag and began to drink.
"Why are you drinking that stuff?" Damon made a face.
"Because," I paused taking my fangs out of the bag. "Stefan wants to take me to hunt, and If I don't drink about 20 of these I might just go crazy." Damon smirked painfully as he watched me eat.
It should've been awkward the silence. But it wasn't. It was actually nerve-wracking, watching Damon watching me feed. Obviously interested in the bag himself, but never daring to come close to me.
"You know, I meant what I said." Damon whispered as he took a few steps toward me. "If you'd let me teach you, you'd never have to rely on this." Damon flicked the bag that was in my hands. "or stupid squirrels" Damon rolled his eyes, but the seductive tone of his voice never faltered.
I took the blood package out of my mouth and nodded like a moth to a flame. "When?" I whispered.
Damon grinned and wiped the blood that was obviously on my cheek and brought it to his lips.
The sensuality of the movement almost killed me. His eyes immediately flickered to my lips and my eyes flickered to his lips. I was ready to jump his bones.
"Elena," Bonnie knocked on the door.
I freaked out and dropped the remaining drops of the package on my white shirt.
"Shit." I whispered. Damon looked startled as he jumped out of whatever phase he was in and quickly he ran upstairs.
I got napkins and started cleaning the floor and a little bit of the counter that had some blood that I had dripped on it.
"Elena!" Bonnie knocked again.
Damon came back and through a jacket at me. I quickly put it on as he finished cleaning the blood and threw the papers away.
"I'm coming." I screamed back.
Damon quickly held my face and used a wet napkin to try and clean the skin around my lips that was blood stained and then he wiped my lips.
"Come in!" I yelled as his hands left my lips and I stopped looking at his lips.
I turned forward and waited for Bonnie to walk in.
"I'm in the kitchen." I yelled as I walked a few steps away from Damon to look less suspicious.
"What are you doing here?" Bonnie asked suspiciously.
"You know, the usual. Harassing Elena into doing no good." Damon smirked, and I looked back to narrow my eyes at him.
He shrugged.
"Whatever. Elena, I just wanted to know what you've been up to. I've been sort of anti-social since the last spell and everything" Bonnie grew quiet. "But I'm better now. How are you feeling?" Bonnie smiled, and opened her arms for a hug. I gave in a hugged her. "How is it being a-" She paused.
"Vampire?" I laughed. "Horrible." I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help feeling overwhelmed by the loud sound of the only heartbeat in the room. Immediatley hunger grew inside me again.
"Right, well Elena's really not in a good place to be with humans right now. So maybe you should come back when she's controlled her thirst a little more-" Damon looked at me and realized within one second where my thoughts were going.
"What?" Bonnie looked shocked.
"Damon!" I looked at him sternly, knowing he was only doing what was best.
"What is he talking about, Elena?" Bonnie looked at me, and the embarrassment helped me to cool down.
"I'm new so I'm having a little bit of trouble," I gulped. "keeping my thirst down. It's like this all consuming force and-" stop thinking like that, Elena, she's your best friend- "it's just hard because I haven't learned how to control it yet." I smiled a forced smile and she didn't buy it for a second.
"How do you control it?" Bonnie looked at Damon for a response.
"Well I always say Practice makes perfect." He grinned.
"She could kill people." Bonnie hissed in disgust.
"Oh hush. If the proper person was watching, and believe me he will be, Elena would do no such thing. It's just kind of hard to do in a place where everyone know everyone-"
"Well, Elena, I'm going up to Whitmore College to visit this professor up there who took over the Occult Studies class that Grams used to teach. If you wanted to come-" Bonnie looked at me hopefully.
I froze in place not able to respond.
"Absolutely." Damon smirked. "This would be a perfect opportunity."
"Why don't you bring Stefan?" Bonnie asked.
"No, not Stefan." I shook my head. "He's sort of in denial about all this drinking from human's thing." I gulped.
"Okay?" Bonnie looked at me questioningly. "So I figured we could leave around 4:30ish Because I have appointment with him tomorrow in the morning." Bonnie stated, non-judging seeing as how she realized I would say nothing in the presence of Damon.
"That's perfect. Thanks for coming Bonnie." Damon smiled and grabbed her arms and started pushing her out the door.
"Damon!" Bonnie yelled as he rudely kicked her out.
"Stop being such a jerk, Damon!" I yelled, almost laughing at his bluntness.
He walked back and looked at me with a giant smirk.
"What am I going to do with you?" I giggled playfully and I realized that he was standing very close to me now.
Closer than yesterday, when he was undressing…
"Pack. We're leaving in a couple of hours." Damon said abruptly and turned around and headed out, as if seeing my train of thought and trying to stop it dead in its tracks.
"Brat." I whispered.
"Love you too, Elena." Damon yelled and slammed the door as he walked out.
What am I going to do with him!? I bagged my fists onto my kitchen counter.
Oh, god. I'm going on a trip with him. Alone. Gulp.
"Stefan, no more." I shook my head as I swallowed the last drop of animal blood I could take.
"It's alright, Elena. You don't have to drink it anymore." Stefan patted my back and I tried my hardest to swallow without disgust – it didn't work.
I started wiping my mouth from that disgustingness and tried to think about how to tell Stefan about my trip that was to occur in less than an hour.
"I love you, Elena." Stefan pulled me in for a kiss and I kissed him back as he back me up onto a tree.
"I love you too, Stefan." I smiled and put my arms around him, no longer making out with him, but simply putting a final chaste kiss on his lips.
"So Bonnie's taking a trip to see this professor of Occult Studies, it's the class her grandma used to teach." I started.
"Yeah," Stefan said as he kissed my neck. "And," I paused making it obvious I was waiting for his undivided attention.
"And?"
"We're crashing Bonnie's trip to Whitmore college."
"Whose we?" Stefan smiled.
"Me, Damon." I almost whispered.
Quickly I kissed him again in fear of his rejection.
"Damon." Stefan hissed, not sounding entirely shocked, but certainly tense.
"He volunteered to go when Bonnie asked me, he's just-" I started.
"He told me. He wants to teach you?" Stefan laughed sarcastically.
When did he tell him?
Stefan, I think it could help." I whispered, afraid to bother him.
"Snatch, eat, erase. Yeah, I got it." Stefan clenched his jaw.
I winced as he said the words, afraid of hurting his feelings because he couldn't come with me - it would be too risky.
"Stefan-" I whispered before he spoke again.
"There's a lot of people in Whitmore College – a lot of fresh blood." Stefan said in a worried voice.
"But who needs that with all this animal blood that I get to have with my boyfriend?" I grinned trying to cover a giant lie.
"Just, be careful okay? The blood," he paused as I held my hands on his chest. "It's easy to get caught up into."
My face continued to smile – sort of. But the words almost gave me a heart attack. If I still had a heart.
"Of course." I smiled and gave him another kiss on the lips.
Oh my god as long as I don't have to drink another drop of that disgusting animal garbage again in my entire life I will be fine…
It seemed like eternity in the car, but we finally got to Whitmore College and stepped out of the vehicle. It felt weird asking Bonnie to let Damon teach me to feed with her here… and Damon was such a pain in the ass that I asked her if she wanted to back out as we got out of the car.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" I asked as I closed the front seat door and watched bonnie do the same to her back seat.
"If I could spell you out of wanting blood I would. But I can't so, better you learn this now than at freshmen orientation." She replied as she followed me to the front of the car to Damon.
I looked around at all the students, and saw them as entirely different from myself. They were human and as they read and studied, I realized that was something I would never have to do to get by…
"Something tells me college is not in my future anymore." I sighed.
"Oh, stop with the pity party." Damon said, and I turned around to see him staring at all the students as well. "If I could go to college, you can go to college."
"You? Went to college?" Bonnie had a smirk as she looked at him incredulously.
I merely lightly smiled.
"Sure, plenty of times. I always had a thing for sorority girls." Damon looked at me with those dancing eyes and I just wanted to punch him.
"You're disgusting." Bonnie rolled her eyes and I sighed.
"I know." Damon whispered.
Bonnie and I both turned around and started walking as Damon followed.
After a couple of minutes of walking, I realized Damon had ditched us, and I rolled my eyes. Bonnie noticed too and walked towards the shade and saw this as her opportunity to pounce.
"What's going on, Elena?" She asked, nonchalantly.
"What do you mean? I played dumb.
"Come on, Elena." Bonnie rolled her eyes. "You know what. What's going on with you and Damon?"
"Right now, nothing. I'm with Stefan. Damon's just better at helping me with being a vampire because he understands." I finally explained.
"He understands something Stefan doesn't?" Bonnie looked at me questionably. "There's a first." She almost laughed.
"It's just-" I paused trying to find the words. "Damon understands that I'm hungry. It's not just for animal blood. Stefan expects me to just join him, and I can't. I physically can't. I can't keep animal blood down." I blurt out.
"Why don't you tell Stefan that?" She asked.
"I tried! But he looked so happy about me joining him that I couldn't tell him. Meanwhile Damon knows how to control it while still drinking human blood, and since the animal blood has been failing me all this time-" I intentionally left out the part where I was so hungry from not eating human blood I almost killed matt. There was no reason Bonnie really had to know that just yet-
"You figure you might as well give this a try?" Bonnie finished my sentence.
"Exactly." I nodded.
"Well, I hope you're careful, Elena. I'm not sure you know what you're doing." Bonnie sighed.
"Me neither." I smiled.
"Aha, ladies! Look what I got." Damon smirked as he walked his way over to us a paper in his hand.
"What?" I asked.
"If this is something stupid, I don't want to know about it Damon." Bonnie rolled her eyes.
"Oh, quiet witchy. Now look," he paused as he handed me a flyer that had 'Murder House' written on it. "a frat party, Deusch central. Plenty of nice hot fresh blood-" Damon smirked, and all of a sudden my thirst came in again.
"Gross, Damon." Bonnie rolled her eyes.
"It says we have to dress up." I said.
"Eh, that's the least of our concerns. We'll be eating very well." Damon smiled at me as he rubbed his hands together deviously.
"Why not?" Bonnie sighed.
And all I could do was stare at the eagerness on Damon's face, and shake in excitement for what delicious pleasures tonight would bring.
what'd you think? Read and review :D i'm excited for the next chapter :D but not as excited as i will be 4x04... omfg...