Run
by yukisyo
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6/1/07: Revised whole story.
1/1/07: Sorry if you got an e-mail for a second chapter of this. Instead of replacing this chapter (I fixed some errors) I accidentally uploaded an almost identical second one.
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It was a cold night. Too cold, Sakura decided as she walked down the street.
Just this morning Sakura had gotten the news that she'd been promoted to jounin. An ecstatic Naruto along with a slightly bitter, still-genin Sasuke told her to come over to the bar to celebrate tonight.
Frankly, Sakura had just participated in an awfully difficult jounin exam and simply wanted to go lock herself in her apartment, take a shower, rest her aching, throbbing muscles a while and sleep a week or two.
She rubbed at her nose, sniffing slightly. Her hands then promptly shoved into her thin jacket pockets, which did little to warm her, so she quickened her pace.
Soon the kunoichi spotted the bar which was light up brightly and very full of people compared to the rest of the surroundings. In a matter of moments she was pulling open the tattered door and a soothing breeze of warmth greeted her pink cheeks.
"Hey! Sakura-chan!" Sakura immediately looked to her left – where the greeting came from – and saw the unbelievably bright blonde head of her friend, Naruto. Sasuke sat next to him, acknowledging her not nearly as loudly.
She waved back, grinning.
"Hey guys," she said, sucking up the aching pain in her legs as she strode to their table, a tad stiffer than usual.
"I can't believe you made it to jounin!" beamed Naruto, similar to how a proud father would praise his cherished daughter.
"Good job," Sasuke added. He wasn't particularly enthusiastic but it was appreciated by Sakura nonetheless.
Spotting a nearby stool, Sakura reached for it and dragged it quite roughly and loudly across the floor and to the table," Thanks." She began to sit down, casually looking around when she spotted something… or rather someone.
Her heart nearly stopped.
There on the other side of the room, was a familiar tuff of silver hair sitting at the counter, his back turned to her.
She searched for any company he might've had. She couldn't find any.
Good.
Still hovering, not quite seated yet, the girl's eyes were locked on Kakashi. She was almost afraid that if her gaze ventured away, for even a second, he would disappear. She pressed her hands against the table's surface to raise herself upright.
She had barely started towards the Copy nin when –
"Sakura? Where are you going?"
Her gaze tore away abruptly. "What – oh I was just –"
"You're supposed to be celebrating! Have a drink, here," Naruto thrust a glass in her direction.
"Um," she quickly glanced over her shoulder. It didn't seem like he'd moved an inch. "Okay. Sure."
One glass eventually turned into two, and then four. Every so often she had looked out of the corner of her eye to make sure he was still there.
After a lot of drinking and laughing and gossiping (with Ino of course, she had arrived later) Sakura glanced over to find Kakashi getting up from his stool. She hastily said 'bye' to everybody; half were too drunk to probably care. Or they were already knocked out.
Sakura struggled to make her way through the maze of chairs and drunks, and by the time she actually got out of the bar the man was already a good distance ahead of her. She frowned.
"Kakashi!" she yelled hoping to get his attention. "Wait up!"
He stopped; his far away figure looked like a small speck. He didn't say a word, didn't even turn his head. He just waited.
The girl started to run, and even when her sore body screamed for her to stop, she didn't. No matter how much she tried she probably staggered rather than sprinted.
It'd taken Sakura a bit longer than she wished to catch up despite her effort, "Hi senpai," she breathed, panting a little.
"Hello," he said coolly, if not a bit tightly.
"Were you alone? At the bar, I mean."
Kakashi paused. "I vaguely remember Genma sitting beside me…and then..." he trailed off, lifting his hand halfheartedly off his side, then dropping it back. "Well, anyway, I heard the good news – congratulations on making jounin."
She closed her eyes in a sheepish laugh, rubbing the back of her head modestly," Thanks."
But when she opened her eyes she met the back of his vest, and he was walking away again. Her heart dropped. Her grin faded.
"Hey..." she reached out and grabbed his arm, tugging at the cloth to stop him.
Stiffening, he turned around and looked down at her with a lone dark eye. Waiting.
Sakura released his shirt immediately; never had she seen him like this. Sure, he was a bit detached normally, but to just walk away in the middle of conversation, not even with a 'goodbye'? And with her, the person who knew him best?
She was hurt. She was hurt that he was so quick and keen on leaving…but she didn't let it show.
"What's wrong Kakashi?" the girl asked quietly.
It appeared he was struggling with his words. " It's nothing you need to worry about."
"Well, obviously it is, since you're avoiding me," she spat at him. Angry, confused, frustrated, her persona had done a complete 180.
"Sakura... I – we can't. It won't work; it can't work." He was frustrated, which made Sakura fear he would lose his patience.
"Kakashi, can't we talk about it? "she pleaded. Again, another 180. Her voice cracked and she had to resort to shutting her eyes tightly so she wouldn't start bawling her eyes out. Hands trembling at her sides, she waited for his response.
"I think y–"
"Please." She opened her eyes to look closely at him, earnest.
But in all her complete genuineness, she couldn't reach him, not even touch that cold unrelenting wall which was constantly surrounding him, as of recently. The man just stood, still and silent, not willing to look at her. His gaze was fixed securely off to the side.
"Kakashi…" she began both exasperated and desperate," Can't you at least give me," she stopped. She wasn't exactly sure what it was she wanted from him. "A decent explanation?"
It looked like he wouldn't even grant her that.
"Don't do this to me, Sakura," the Copy nin's voice was carelessly cold but Sakura couldn't miss that pained look in his eye nor the clearly upset quirk in his eyebrow. It had taken years to finally be able to dissect all his movements and body language.
The girl reached up to his face, which was still deliberately turned away, resting her small, tapered fingertips gently above the hem of his mask.
The moment skin touched skin Kakashi flinched away.
Her hands fell a bit.
If an S-class criminal had plunged a dagger straight through Kakashi's flesh, he wouldn't have flinched the slightest (hell, Sakura had witnessed it at age twelve) and alas, here he was, getting fretful, agitated when a seventeen year old girl got a bit too close for comfort and hardly touched him.
Gathering courage from all of her present jumble of emotions, she brought her shaky hands back up. Tentatively, she tugged the mask off of him. The kunoichi let the material fall loosely at his neck and chin before she brought herself up on her toes and kissed – or, at least tried to kiss him. Her lips were a hair's breadth away from his; her lips softly brushing against his exposed ones, just enough to exchange heat, before he suddenly jerked away yet again.
After he told her, "Don't do this. You're being irrational, Sakura," he pulled his mask back up.
The girl failed to see exactly how hard his hands were clenched together in fists and hear how hoarse and low and soft his voice had become.
"Shit Kakashi, you're the one being irrational! You've been avoiding me this whole time, haven't you?!" she yelled, tears she'd been holding began spilling out, she wiped them away with the back of her hand hastily.
Her hands were now grasping the front of his vest tightly, shaking," And you haven't even tried to explain anything t-to me! You're just a coward! I hate you!"
Kakashi's single eye darkened. He looked away.
"Sakura you don't even know my half of the story, you –"
"Well maybe if you told me – !"
"Geez hurry up Shikamaru!"
Both Sakura and Kakashi froze. Slowly, they turned their heads towards where the voice had come from.
Though Kakashi might've found recognizing the person quite difficult, Sakura only needed the voice to know who, and his or her exact identity.
It was her best friend, well, at least when she wanted to be: Ino.
If on cue the blonde yelled again, except this time it wasn't directed to the lazy Nara who appeared behind her. "Hey! Is that you, Sakura?" she slurred, definitely drunk. She must have seen Kakashi next, "Oh I see you've found someone." Sakura could practically hear Ino's smirk.
Not quite thinking the whole situation through, Sakura opened her mouth to retaliate, however all she could do was let out a girly squeak when Kakashi suddenly pulled her away, around the corner and into, not through, a door.
With her back against the cold wood the girl watched him surround her, trapping her there as he fumbled with the lock. She stood there, head spinning, heart beating rapidly from their sudden change of proximity.
For a moment she thought he was going to kiss her… then hug her, apologize over and over to her until she got tired of the words, and kiss her again…
Sakura heard Ino walk around, babbling on, wondering aloud if she, Sakura, had actually been there and just mysteriously disappeared or not.
Though not much really registered in Sakura's mind. Frankly, she looked brain-dead, just standing there absently staring at him while he tried opening the door.
The door swung open behind her. Startled, Sakura grabbed for the old, chipped door frames on either side of her so she wouldn't fall backwards.
She recovered quickly. The girl stepped back and to the side to allow Kakashi in. He didn't bother taking off his shoes, she noticed.
He turned on the lights; some flickered on and off gallingly, in need of a change of bulbs.
Sakura took this as an opportunity to promptly glance around.
Somehow Sakura always imagined the man's house to be neat, tidy and orderly much like himself, but in reality the apartment was the complete opposite. The small living room/bedroom (she couldn't tell) was covered with papers and clothes and trash. A, what Sakura assumed as a desk, was jaggedly set in the corner and instead of a neat array of writing utensils there were more papers, clothes and trash.
Maybe if she wasn't so pissed at him she might have laughed at his hygienic habits (or lack of) and helped tidy the place up a bit.
Kakashi brushed past her, walked into the kitchen and pulled out a chair. He sat down, propped his elbows on the table and began rubbing his temples almost viciously.
Sakura remained standing. The emotions her face held were unreadable. Her eyes were damp and red from crying.
After what seemed hours of silence he spoke. "Shouldn't you get home soon? It's late. I'm sure your friends have left by now." In Kakashi-language that translated to, "The drunks are gone, now get the fuck out. Please and thank you."
"We didn't finish yet!" she protested. The girl still had a hint of defiance in her, as always. In moderation Kakashi found it quite endearing.
Well, he used to, at least.
"Finish what?" he asked, pretending to be mildly confused. She knew he knew perfectly well about what she was talking about.
The sight of him tracing invisible lines on the table's surface languidly, idly and so uncaringly angered Sakura. Here she was experiencing probably the most emotionally traumatizing event ever and he was acting like nothing even happened.
"Why can't we work, Kakashi? You haven't even bothered to try!" She hated how her voice cracked and how weak it sounded.
"You know perfectly well why," replied Kakashi in an even, serious voice. His acting façade had been dropped.
"No, I don't! Is it my age? Your age? That I'm your student? Tell me!"
He avoided the question entirely, answering, "I just don't want you to get hurt."
The kunoichi had a hard time honestly believing that. This whole Kakashi-avoiding-Sakura ordeal definitely marked way up there on her list of the most hurtful, horrible, spiteful things that ever happened to her.
"I'm sorry, Sakura, really, but it's best if we are friends. Just friends." he emphasized.
Silence.
Sakura looked unusually calm and composed compared to earlier." Right… yeah. Sorry for bothering you," she said distantly.
Taken aback, Kakashi blinked. When the girl swiftly turned around and began towards the door he whispered, hushed," Sakura…what are you doing…"
Since her very first days in the academy, since she first met Sasuke, Haruno Sakura knew deep inside she could never get what she wanted and desperately attempted to change it.
But Haruno Sakura also knew when to give up, when enough was enough, when it started to become just plain bothersome and annoying.
Sakura stopped for a moment, her hand resting on the cold door knob. "Bye, Kakashi."
Fresh tears came to her eyes which effectively blurred her vision. She knew it wasn't just 'bye' for the night.
It was a farewell to everything.
Bye to their small but meaningful conversations, bye to their childish exchanges of teasing, and bye to the brief glances and soft smiles.
Sakura felt if a portion of her life was leaving her, wasted and definitely not used to its full potential. Even if Kakashi promised to be 'just friends' it wasn't nearly enough for her so much so that it felt like a lie; occasional waves and awkward 'how are you's was how Kakashi would treat her as 'just friends'.
She hated the mere idea of it. They couldn't erase their moments together from their past (thankfully, Sakura decided) and pretend nothing ever happened between them.
But forgetting what was and what she could've almost had was not a choice. The memories were too precious to be thrown away carelessly like that.
Maybe if she left, ran, she wouldn't have to see him and his lies and denial, so, maybe, she could pretend he hadn't rejected her out of his own stupid fear or that he didn't go out of his way to avoid her.
So that is exactly what she did. In one quick movement the door was wide open, cold, crisp air numbing her skin. She ran. Fast.
Her legs felt like they were being torn apart, soreness was replaced with stifling, agonizing pain. But she didn't care about much at the moment, just her and the dim horizon in front of her. Her goal. Though the horrid sting that shot up her legs with every step didn't leave, and with each step the task grew harder, her determination to get out of there – as far away possible – was what drove her steadily on.
She was almost entirely down the street and out of sight when she heard a voice. His voice. The voice that was deeply ingrained in her memory; so, so familiar to her, it hurt.
"Sakura!"
She kept running and didn't look back.
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Phew. Feedback on how I'm doing is appreciated! I don't plan on making a sequel, but if the readers want one and I figure out a nice, good plot I might. Thanks for reading.