Everything I'm Not, a phantom of the opera fanfic

No Phantom of the Opera. This is for all the Raoul lovers and Meg Giry lovers. To make it easier, picture the Meg and Raoul from the movie.

Everything I'm Not.

Meg Giry just wished she could die. The Vicomte was in love with her best friend and there was nothing she could do. And she knew of the Phantom of the Opera being in love with her. Raoul did love her once. And she remembered a time where he said so himself. She was sixteen and she bumped into him on her way back from the bakery. Their love was like the summer; it came and went. She was devastated when he left her. Mostly, she thought that the Comte and Comtess de Changy considered her trash from the Opera Populaire. She looked at a picture of her and him as a couple. He is so handsome, she thought with bitterness. Why did he hurt her like this any way? Did he not see that she was still in love with him and that she would die for him at any cost…even if it meant getting killed by Erik? But there was something she couldn't understand; did he ever love her? Or was every kiss they shared a lie? How could she know or care? All she could know now was that he was affiliated with Christine Daae, her best friend. But were they enemies now? She just watched the snow fall from her window in the quarters she shared with her mother. Meg brushed her long hair and removed the make-up that was destroyed by her tears. For tonight, she too was on the roof. Erik didn't see her, since she went up there almost every night. She then fell apart again from those thoughts of love and deception in her mind.

Oh no
Don't go changing
That's what you told me from the start
Thought you where something different
That's when it all just fell apart
Like you're so perfect
And I can't measure up
Well I'm not perfect
Just all messed up

In deed she was messed up at the moment. She hated that the only love of her life was with another girl. Was she not good enough? She refused to believe it. She loved Raoul and she would do anything to be with him. What could she do though? All she was in his eyes was nothing more than a ballet dancer, and a lousy one at that. She wasn't as good as Christine, and she knew it no matter how long she was there. The jealousy grew inside her like a seed. And it didn't plan on going anywhere for a while at that. She took out her bible to read for a while and she knew that there wasn't a thing that she could do or say. Her mother then walked in. "Child," she asked, "why do you cry tonight?" Meg did not wish to answer so instead, she lied to her mother, unwillingly, with an even heavier heart at that. "I'm just…sorry for seeing the body of Joseph Buqeut hanging from the lasso." Madam Giry was sharper than her daughter thought but she shook her head and replied, "It's amazing how you feel sorry for some one you loathed, but if you wish to talk about it, you know where to find me."

I was losing myself to somebody else
But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
She was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not

After her mother left, Meg had only one thing to say: "He may as well just took a gun and put it to my head. And then my pain would be gone." For a bright young girl of eighteen, she did indeed have dark thoughts at the moment. She yelled the same thing again, but this time, she opened her window and screamed out into the city. It was amazing how one simple kiss could have an affect on another. She even remembered their time together, the night in August when they both made love to each other. It was passionate and gentle. She thought of her self wicked for it at first, but then again, who knew? Sadly, toward the end of their relationship, she noticed that he was eyeing another, but never did she know it was her best friend until now. She remembered what it was like; he would tell her where to go, what to do, and how it was to be done. And she wanted nothing more than to have their relationship work. How did he repay her? By dumping her and trying to part as friends. She had never felt so much pain as of tonight and the death of her father. Christine would pay, but how? She wanted nothing more than to kill her for this. She knew her friend didn't know about her relationship with Raoul, but still, she was in love with him and this was how she repaid her after all these years of being her friend?

It's not like I need somebody
Telling me where I should go at night
Don't worry you'll find somebody
Someone to tell how to live their life
Cause your so perfect
And no one measures up
Yeah all by yourself
You're all messed up

She did try to find love, but where? What she and Raoul had was true love, right? She would be damned if anyone told her otherwise. They were meant for each other. She wanted to share each day with him each night, each morning. Death would be so sweet right now. She began to cry hysterically. It seemed that there would never be true love for her. Only for Christine; it would take a while to get used to but she had to pull through it right? Would she do such to stoop down so low as to hurt her friend? Meg had known Christine basically since they were tykes. And to be honest with herself, she was always a little bit jealous of the little Swedish girl. First, the Angel of Music came to her. Then she lands a role as Elissa in Hannibal and now, she had the man of her dreams. The one who still had her heart…

I guess he's not the one, she thought as she looked at the clock. It was already one o'clock in the morning and Meg was more tired than she was before. But her tiredness came from sheer defeat. She felt like a failure after trying to get Raoul to notice her. She hated for being cast aside like that. Did he really love her though? Was he using her to get close to Christine? No, she knew Raoul better than that and he said so himself 'I would never use you or anything like that, dearest Meg.' So he couldn't have used her. May be he just, dare she say it, didn't love her anymore and fell for Christine all over again. She cried once more, but this time they were tears of hate. She hated Vicomte Raoul de Changy at that point and cursed the day he became the patron of the Opera Populaire. She cried and cursed Raoul until she could say no more. Little did she know at that moment, that there was someone in the shadows who felt her pain...

Now wait a minute
Because of you
I never knew all the things that I had
Hey don't you get it
I'm not going anywhere with you tonight
Cause this is my life

The figure walked out of the mirror and rested his hand on the weeping Meg. She looked up to see her long time friend. "Erik what are you doing here?" He didn't say much. He just hugged her and whispered in her ear, "It's alright mon ange, time will heal you and you're heart. And as for monsieur le Vicomte, I have a personal matter to settle with him." Meg knew that look in his eyes and blurted out, "Please don't hurt him. I really truly love him and wish him happiness."

"Mon ange, if you wish him happiness, why do you curse his name?"

"I just…really wish that he could understand my true feelings for him, especially, after all this time. I don't want to hurt Christine's heart, but I want him for me. Truly and honestly I do,"

"I know, for I saw their kiss tonight and it killed me. She betrayed me and I must remind you that she belongs to me and me only!"

"Erik, please, don't yell, maman will hear you."

"To hell with what Olette hears; I long for Christine, and I will get her for myself."

"Are you willing to hurt her?"

"She loves me, she just doesn't realize it yet."

"Erik, you are making a mistake; love comes from the heart, though you may call me a hypocrite for saying this after I said I wanted Raoul for myself, I'm just naturally like that, but you…you are a beautiful person and if you love her, you'll let her go. The reason he even has her because she is everything I'm not at all. I'm just another ballet tart with dreams of making it big. You have you're music and it is beautiful. Don't hurt them, it pains me to see them together but…I want them to be happy."

"You make no sense Meg,"

"I speak the truth of my heart, and I know nothing will change it right now, especially since you know how I get when I am upset: a scatter brain mess."

Erik looked at her and gently kissed her forehead and whispered, "I know, mon ange, and I also know that Christine is blinded by lust, and I will see to it that she sees the man behind the mask." With another hug, he swirled his cape and Meg knew the worst was to come, but how would it solve her problems with Raoul. She looked out at the snow again through her window, with tranquility unlike no other running through her body. She stretched her hand out and prayed that better days will come for her and Raoul.

But now I see
I don't wanna pretend
So this is the end of you and me
Cause the girl that you want
she was tearing us apart
Cause she's everything
Everything I'm not…

A/N: Hope you guys liked it.