Bedtime Story

I used to believe that life was like a bedtime story, where there was always a happy ending. Where the handsome prince always came for the beautiful princess. Life, I found out the hard way, is nothing like a bedtime story. Life is cruel to you. Crueler still, it seems, when you have nothing, and only want one thing. There is no happy ending in life. There never has been. I don't think there will be one for me. And there is no handsome prince. Not for me. I thought there would be, once. He promised me that we would meet again, one day. It's been ten years since then, and I have long since given up hope that he will come back to me.

If there was ever a woman that needs rescueing, it's me. My life has been a living hell, since I left that world... His world. From the time I was thirteen, up until I was eighteen, I was forced to visit various shrinks. The reason? My parents thought I was depressed, to a point that was dangerous. Maybe I was. But it wasn't anything a shrink could help.

In a bedtime story, Haku would have kept his promise.

The front door opens quietly. Chihiro never even hears it. Nor does she hear the soft footsteps, on the carpeted stairs, or in the hall, outside her room.

In a bedtime story, he would have come to me, on a clear night, with a bright full moon. I wouldn't have even been surprised. I would only greet him warmly.

The bedroom door opens slowly, creaking slightly, on unoiled hinges, and Chihiro stirs, as silver-blue light from the moon makes the pale skin of the intruder glow. He gently places a hand on the sleeping Chihiro's shoulder, and shakes her, only the tiniest bit. But it is enough to wake her. She sits up in bed, blinks a few times, and looks up at the man she had so longed to see.

"You're back," she says, with a small smile, "I've been waiting for you."

"I know," Kohaku replies, and envelopes her in a tight hug.

In a bedtime story, I wouldn't hesitate to tell him how I felt. Nor would he hesitate to tell me.

"I love you, Haku," she says, against his shoulder.

"And I love you, Chihiro," he replies, chin resting on top of her head.

In a bedtime story, I wouldn't feel this bitterness... This anger, at him not having kept his promise.

"I'm sorry, I didn't come sooner," Haku says, regretfully.

"It's all right. You're here now, and that's all that matters," Chihiro reassures him, "That's all that will ever matter."

In a bedtime story, I wouldn't wake up, from the dream I have every night. I wouldn't look around my cold, empty, silent bedroom, and start to cry when I realize that the love of my life was never really there. That it was all in my imagination.

Chihiro wakes, as she always does, and speaks to the utter darkness. "Haku?" she calls, knowing she will get no answer. Everything is the opposite of the dream. Instead of a warm, cozy room, this one feels cold, and lonely. Instead of a bright, full moon casting its light, and making things glow, there is no moon at all. There is nothing to provide that light she loves so much. The door remains tightly closed, and her eyes glaze over with tears of disappointment, anger, and sorrow.

In a bedtime story, I would be happy. He would be happy. We would be happy. But life is nothing like a bedtime story. Once it was, for me. Once upon a time, when I was a little girl, and I went to another world. When I met a skinny, pale skinned boy, who stole my heart. But there was no happy ending for that chapter of my life. And every chapter since hasn't been happy. Like I said, I have long since given up hope for a happy ending. But that one dream, lights a small flame of hope. It never lasts long though.

And somewhere, outside, a long reptilian form sits atop the next building, smoky emerald eyes fixed on the tear-stained face of the woman he wishes so desperately that he could speak to. But all he can do is watch. There are rules, and he has no choice but to obey them. The woman had to get back on her own. But Haku fears it is too late, for her to return to him.

For Chihiro is right.

This is life.

This is no bedtime story.

And there is no happy ending.

END