Summary: A one-shot following "Threads"
Spoilers: Threads & Moebius
Disclaimer: I don't own them; MGM, Gekko, and Paramount own them…
A/N: Yeah, I had to do it. And its slightly AU, just in terms of the order and times of events.
Always
Sam sat on the bench outside Pete's house, her face in her hands. She didn't know how long she had been there, but was starting to recognize the chill that was seeping into her pores. She sat up, and rubbed her swollen eyes; eyes that had cried more in the last day than she would have cared to admit. As she took in the sunrise on the horizon, a small movement caught her eye. She looked out to the street, and saw, parked across the street, a familiar sedan. Daniel stood at the edge of the yard, his hands in his pockets, his toe quietly scuffing the pavement.
"Hey." He said, starting to approach her.
"Hey," She replied, looking back down.
"Umm, I know that this seems really unimportant right now, with everything that has happened in the last 48 hours, but we need you back at the SGC."
Sam looked up, the tiredness beginning to set in, and struggled to look alert. After taking an audible deep breath, she gave Daniel her hand, and he pulled her into a tight hug.
"How are you Sam?" He asked. She breathed deeply, and pulled away.
"I'm fine Daniel."
"Sam," he said warningly.
"Daniel, please, not right now." She said, pleading evident in her voice.
"Alright; but this is not over with."
"Daniel, what is so important that you felt the need to drag my sleep-deprived body out of bed?" Jack asked, his voice still laced with sleep.
"I got a call right before I picked Sam up. It's Catherine Langford. She died last night."
All four members sat in stunned silence. Catherine had been a mentor to the entire program, and had seen it from its creation in the mid-1990's to where it was now. Teal'c was the first to speak.
"Will not a memorial be held for Catherine Langford?"
"Ah, yes, on Wednesday. I've been asked to speak."
"Alright," said Jack, "seeing as I can't send a two-man team through the gate, you all have a one-week leave, effective immediately."
Sam stood as Jack did, and they all went their separate ways; Daniel going to pack, Teal'c back to his kel'no'reem, and Jack to his office. Sam, however, sat back down, and in thoughtful silence, watched the gate.
Jack broke her out of her reverie by squatting beside her chair.
"Hey Carter, whatcha doing?"
"Thinking."
"Well, big surprise there. Whatcha thinking about?"
"My dad." She paused. "Pete."
Jack flinched at the name, but remained passive.
"Are you worried about the wedding?"
She looked up at him, distress clear in her blue eyes.
"I called it off."
Jack stood slowly, feeling his bones creak, and sat down in the chair beside her, turning their chairs to face each other. He took her hand, and slowly rubbed the pad of his thumb across her slender hands. His other hand reached out to cup her cheek, and to tilt her face towards him.
With all seriousness, he asked her,
"Are you okay?" No Carter, no ranks, no military.
She looked up at him.
"Am I sad, yes; upset, yes. For hell's sake, my dad just died! But the most important thing right now, is that I am totally and completely at peace with myself regarding my handling of the two situations. Pete was fun, I admit. But, strange as this may sound, I was on the rebound." She broke away from him, and stood, pacing back and forth. Jack sat silently, afraid to break sincerity in her speech; afraid to snap her back into Lt. Colonel Carter, instead of just Sam.
"But, you know what the one thing is, the one thing that bothers me?" Her voice broke, and Jack saw tears snake their way across her face, and one stray tear run to the tip of her nose.
Suddenly, she seemed to realize where she was, who she was talking to, and what she had almost brought out of the tightly sealed, padlocked, and secure isolation room.
"What?" He whispered, searching her face. "What is the one thing that bothers you?"
"Nothing," She said, her face displaying a deer-in-the-headlights look. "Sorry sir, to have bothered you. It is Christmas Eve; shouldn't you be home with Kerry?"
"Is that was this is about Carter? Kerry?"
Sam shook her head, backing away from his advancing form.
"No sir, it's not. Again, sorry to have," she gulped, "to have bothered you." She had barely finished her sentence before tears began freely falling, and she hurried from the briefing room, not wanting a confrontation, but at the same time, dying for Jack to pursue her. She got into the elevator, and hit the button for the surface. She was going to go home, have a big glass of wine, and sit in her bath tub contemplating her life. But, as soon as she got to the parking lot, she realized that Daniel had picked her up, and that her car was still at her house.
"Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT!!" She yelled at the top of her lungs, startling the SF who was on the graveyard shift.
"Problem, Carter?"
"Yes sir. Goddammit, yes sir there is a problem. Actually a HUGE problem; a GALACTIC PROBLEM!!"
Jack was a little more than bemused. Here was his brilliant, beautiful, punctual, normally pulled together 21C, on Christmas Eve nonetheless, screaming into the air in the middle of the Cheyenne Mountain Complex Military Parking Lot.
"Would you care to enlighten me, Carter?"
Sam turned back to him, a crazy look haunting her eyes.
"What did I do? What the fuck did I do, huh? What did I do, to deserve this?"
"Deserve what Carter?"
"I have two failed engagements. Two fucking FAILED ENGAGEMENTS! Do you know what the worst part is? I didn't even want to marry them."
She stopped yelling, and turned back to him.
"And do you know the one thing that kills me inside?"
"What?" He pleaded, "Carter – Sam, please tell me. Tell me what drives you, what makes you angry – let me fix it."
"You can't." She said shortly.
"Why not?"
"Because of who you are; because of whom I am. Because no matter how much I want you to help me, you can't. Just, just take me home. That's what you can do right now." Jack nodded, and grasping her hand, lead her to his truck, and helped her shaking form into it.
The ride to her house was silent. Jack snuck glances at her through out the ride, noticing the silent tears slipping down her cheeks, and the slight shivering through her shoulders.
"Here," he said, reaching in the back and handing her his sweatshirt, "Put this on." She did as she was told, breathing in his scent as she did so.
When they reached her house, he walked her to the door, silently pleading that she would ask him to stay. She slid her key in the lock, and pushed the door open to find Pete sitting in the den.
"Sam…" Was all Jack heard before she slammed the door, and ran to his truck.
"Take me away, Jack, please, take me away!" She said, anxiety sweeping into her.
He ran to the driver's side, and turned the truck on with a roar, and was backing out of the driveway, as Pete started running to catch up. But, he gave up 100 yards down the street. He watched the truck drive away, the taillights receding into the black night. He hung his head as he realized that he had truly lost her.
Jack brought Sam to his house, and lead her to the bathroom, turned the bath on, and instructed her to sit and soak – they could talk later.
He was dozing on the couch when he sensed her arrival in the room, but pretended to still be asleep, wondering what her next move would be. The soup and tea he had prepared sat on the coffee table, and he felt her take the mug, before curling up a foot away from him. He straightened and "awoke" as her weight sunk into the couch.
As their eyes met, she sat the mug back on the table, and crawled forward, until their noses were almost touching. Jack felt her breath on his face, and watched as emotions flashed through her eyes. And then, her lips were on his, needy and wanting. He shoved her away, as soon as he registered what was transpiring.
"No, Carter, we can't."
"I don't care." She said, pushing him onto his back, and poising herself above him.
He pushed her back, and sat up.
"Car- Sam, please, care. I'm your CO; you have a career ahead of you. You don't need a grouchy old general screwing with your chances. You have such a life ahead of you. Please, don't do this."
She sat back on her haunches, chewing her lip thoughtfully.
"Is that truly how you feel?" She challenged. "Because if it is, I'll go to bed, and we can pretend that this never happened. We can lock it in the damn room, and throw the keys away."
"You know how I feel."
"No I don't, sir, I don't" She shot back.
"Sam, I'm fifteen years older than you. The amount of things I can't tell you about my life is as long as your leg. What could you possibly want from me?"
"Don't avoid my question with all that crap about age and history. I have a history too, ya know! But, I know how I feel about you, and because of that, I don't give a rat's ass about any of the shit you just named. Just answer my question: Do you feel anything towards me?"
"Sam, we can't"
She stood up, aggravated beyond belief.
"Don't you think I know that? Don'tcha think that I know what I am asking, what rules I am breaking? I've spent my life being a perfect, loyal, trusting 21C. And do you know what I got back? Eight years of serving beneath the one man that I truly love. The one man that I would do anything for."
Jack sat, stunned, as tears started to roll down his cheeks.
"Sam, I….I don't know what to say."
With desperation in her voice, she knelt beside his face on the couch.
"Just tell me that you will love me for eternity."
"I….Sam…I will," his voice broke, turning into the shaky, off-pitch voice that had only come to him once before – with Charlie.
"I will love you, forever, for always, for the rest of my god-forsaken life."
They both broke into tears, and Jack pulled Sam into his lap, kissing her with a needing passion. After they had had their fill of each other, they went, hand in hand to Jack's bedroom. Sam curled into Jack's warmth, content to lay there forever.
"Sam?" She rubbed her face against him, acknowledging him. "Always."
a/n: So, tell me, was it too cheesy? I was in the holiday spirit, and it begged to be written. REVIEW! Just a quick note – tell me what you thought! Happy New Year everyone!!!