My name is Princess Peach Toadstool, and:
1. I may not kidnap Ivysaur and add him to my Garden. Red will kill me.
2. Or the Pikmin.
3. I can't kiss Ike when Mario's around. Ike won't live after that.
4. I may not kill Mario. Master Hand will banish me from Smash.
5. I may not use my Frying Pan to rip off Mr. Game and Watch.
6. I may not pinch a kid's cheeks, not even Pichu's.
7. I may not use Squirtle as a shower head.
8. I may not date Link. Zelda will be very angry.
9. I may not switch places with Zelda. Mario will quickly notice.
10. I am no longer allowed to even THINK ABOUT Snake.
11. I may not use Jigglypuff as a decoration.
12. I may not get plastic surgery to rival Samus.
13. I may not use Peach Blossom, eat all the peaches, and blame Jigglypuff.
14. I may not dress myself as Sheik. Link will get the wrong idea.
15. I may not overcook my food and blame Charizard. Red will find out fast.
16. I may not tell Bowser I'm into Ganondorf.
17. I may not bitch slap Palutena. Pit will get very angry.
18. I may not call DDD "King Triple D".
19. I may not dismantle ROB and turn him into a science project.
20. I may not use Charizard as a chaffur.
21. I may not lock Squirtle in the boiler room. Red will kill me.
22. I may not put Ivysaur in a straight jacket and leave him at the Summit. Red will kill me.
23. I may not drop Charizard in a dunk tank. Red will feed me to Tabuu.
24. I may not adopt Lucas and have him call me "Mom". Flint won't like that.
25. I may not tell people about Daisy's third eye.
I am Princess Peach Toadstool, and I will never do these things as to this day.