Disclaimer: I do not, in any way, shape or form, own the characters of Final Fantasy. I, just like the rest of us, only wish I did.
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Hojo: *siting in his expensive laboratory cackling maniacally as he mixes mysterious blue chemical #1 and mysterious red chemical #2* Mwahahahahaha! I have done it! I have discovered the elixir of life! With this chemical, one may live forever! Mwahahahahaha!
Scarlet: *slams the door open, hair up in curlers and face in mud mask* God damn it! Hojo! What the hell do you think you're up to at 2:00 AM in the fucking morning?!
Hojo: . . . . . . . . . Scarlet? Why are YOU here?
Scarlet: *humphs* I got thrown out of my apartment. They said I disturbed the peace.
Hojo: . . . . . . . . . . The president owns the apartments.
Scarlet: Who do you think threw me out?
Hojo: Makes perfect sense now. Anyway, you have arrived just in time to witness the first effect of the elixir of life as I test it on one of my test subjects! Now! *spins and looks in the cages, that are empty for some reason* . . . . . who will be the subject?
Scarlet: This isn't going to turn into one of those stupid stories where the taker of the potion all of a sudden is crapping in their dippers again, is it?
Hojo: Where the hell did all my subjects go?!?!
Elsewhere . . . .
RedXIII: Aeris, do you have any twos . . . ?
Aeris: *flips her hair triumphantly* Go. Fish.
RedXIII: Shoot. *draws a card from where he and the other test subjects are sitting in a circle playing 'Go Fish'. This consists of RedXIII, Aeris, Vincent, Lucrecia, Jenova, Cloud, Zack, Sephiroth and strangely a large, blue, fuzzy cat-man*
Kimhari: *frowns* Kimhari no like this game . . .
Aeris: Tough luck! This is the only game Cloud knows how to play, so we're playing it!
Zack: *whispers to Sephiroth* Because he's such a fucking moron . . .
Jenova: *scowls* I hate this! Can't we play strip poker, or something?!
Lucrecia: You aren't even wearing anything!
Jenova: . . . . . . . . . I can shed my body parts?
Sephiroth: *shudders* Just . . . . . Forget it, Mother.
Lucrecia: *scowls* And how come you call HER mother and not me?!
Vincent: Lucy . . .
Lucrecia: Don't you Lucy me mister! I'll-
Everyone: *sneezes all at once* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Aeris: . . . . . . . I hate that bastard.
Everyone: *nods in agreement*
Cloud: *smiles triumphantly* Bingo!
Back to the laboratory . . .
Hojo: *upon realizing that all of his test subjects are missing, turns to Scarlet, smiling sweetly* Miss Scarlet . . . . . ?
Scarlet: No.
Hojo: *pouts* Why not?
Scarlet: A.) You're a freak.
Hojo: You can't hold my condition against me!
Scarlet: *roles her eyes* B.) You're a MAD scientist.
Hojo: So?
Scarlet: C.) It's never been tested before.
Hojo: And that's exactly why I NEED to! PLEASE-
Scarlet: *frowns* No way in hell, rat face! I'm a very delicate person! If you were to ruin my perfect face for even a second-
Hojo: I'll give you that new laser riffle you wanted to make but the president vetoed.
Scarlet: *stops* . . . . . . . . . . . Have it ready by Tuesday.
Hojo: Done. *holds the beaker of green liquid out to her expectantly, like a child on Christmas*
Scarlet: *roles her eyes, taking the beaker from him* You'd think I had just offered to sleep with you, or something. *downs the beakers contents n one gulp, blinking dumbly as she all of a sudden as a weird feeling in her gut*
Hojo: *fairly jumping up and down n excitement* Yes?! Yes?! What's happening?! CAN YOU FEEL THE CHANGE?!?!?!
Scarlet: Oddly . . . . I can. *she then promptly passed out, right there on the floor, robe falling open as she descended*
Hojo: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . *sweatdrops, eyes nearly popping out of their sockets* This was NOT the change that I expected . . . . .
A few hours later . . . . . .
Scarlet: *waking up from her slumber* O-oh . . . . . Hojo . . . . . I'm going to kill you . . . .
Hojo: *spins around, a massive sweatdrop upon his face* Oh! Err, you're awake?! Heh! Good! Good!
Scarlet: *blinks* I feel . . . . Odd.
Hojo: Oh! Well! That is to be expected after such an ordeal is undergone!
Scarlet: . . . . . . . . What did you do to me?
Hojo: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . If you take a moment to take yourself into account, you'll quickly find out.
Scarlet: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!
Hojo: *sighs deeply, rolling his eyes as he slides his glasses up his nose* So, Miss Scarlet, how does it feel to be a member of the male race?
Scarlet: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I'm going to kill you.
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To be continued . . . . . . . . *BUMBUMBUM-!*
Note: For those of you who didn't understand the reference of sneezing, in anime, a person usually sneezes when they are being talked about by someone else. All of them sneezing at once meant that Hojo was talking about his test subjects. Thank you, and I will try to post again soon. Please Review!