How long, O lord

Song: How long, O lord by Brian Doerksan (also called the "Psalm 13 song" because it is found in psalm 13: 1-3 in the bible.)

Aviva was running, barefoot and in her P.J's, in a forest in the middle of a cold, frosty night.

She was running from what she can't outrun: darkness.

But it's what lies hidden inside the darkness that she feared most, she can feel him all around, bringing certain memories of a place where she met him in a not good way.

His name is NOT Zach, for this person lives a lot longer than him, in fact, he's the one who brought this once perfect world into this darkness.

Such evil, cold darkness, putting an unimaginable barren upon Aviva's shoulders.

She can hear heavy footsteps of wolves running with her, stalking and watching her every move.

At last, perhaps miles from the Tortuga, she found a moonlit clearing where she finally collapsed, unable to go on anymore.

With sorrow weighing her heart down and scenes of unspeakable evil from the past filling her mind.

"JESUS!" Aviva screamed at the full moon before doing a face-plant on the ground, crying, desperate to be with him.

"he's not here, Aviva!" come a whisper, "he's not here…"

Aviva, now shivering, whisper something in Spanish in response to the voice.

"face it, you lose. He has abandoned you, he…"

"IN JESUS' NAME, I REBUKE YOU!" Aviva screamed, unable to take his lies anymore. And with that, the voice left.

You see, now she has a new spiritful emery that's has found his new "prey": Aviva.

Now with that voice gone, she now has not had to put up with him, at least for now.

But, still, the pain and sorrow is still there.

Also, a promise creeps into her mind:

"Soon, I am coming to end all of Satan has done, to set up my kingdom. Aviva, I am coming! But, not until sometime after you undo what you sow on earth, therefore, I'm setting you back…"

So, Aviva is still crying, for her heart is like of a bride: she CANNOT live without him.

Aviva then look up at the moon.

"How long O Lord," Aviva sobbed out loud, "must this darkness rule?"

"How long before all of this end?"

She then looks up to the heavens, and asked in a shuddering voice:

"How long before I can join my family in paradise?"

Then she waited, nothing.

"Look on me and answer, Oh God my Father!" she angrily yelled before burying her face into the ground, sobbing uncontrollably.

"I've told you, Aviva. He's not with you. But, you wouldn't listen." The voice has come back.

It has returned because of Aviva's doubt, the doubt of Jesus abandoning her.

As Aviva continue to sob into the cold, cold ground, a song rose up from her heart.

"How long O Lord," Aviva sang as she pushes herself off of the ground, and onto her knees, "will you forget me?"

"How long O Lord, will you look the other way?" she sang as she hugged herself both in effort to warm herself up and in fear.

"How long O Lord," she sang as she holds her head with both hands for she can hear voices in her head, demanding that Aviva needs to stop singing the song, "must I wrestle with my thoughts?"

"And every day," she sobbed, "have such sorrow in my heart?"

She looked up to the stars again as she sing the following:

"Look on me and answer, O God my Father

Bring light to my darkness, before they see me fall" Aviva fall face first on the ground again.

Then, Aviva felt strength coursing through her.

"You must go on, my daughter. For I've loved you scene the mounet you were born, and nether me or Jesus has never left your side, even though you've been through hard times, I've been with you, always." Said a voice that was soft and loving, and reminded Aviva of someone she has lost long time ago.

Aviva picked her head up quickly, "mom?" she asked.

"Yes, shhh, honey. I am here, don't be afraid. Remember what I've promised you before I died. I promised you that I will always be with you, no matter what. I also promised you that one day, you will go where I will be; and one day, we'll be together forever. Jesus will make sure that I'll be at the gate, all of us, and we'll walk inside that gate and start a new life; a life that will never end. And don't worry about Kate, for she is with me, ever be harmed by Satan again."

"But now, he's after you. Jesus has warned you that Satan will attack you. But, for now, he's gone. Honey, I want you to know that I saw what Satan has done to you. I have seen the aftermath of his attack. HONEY, I'VE ALMOST LOST YOU IN THAT PLACE CALLED HELL! But now, you won't go back there ever again. Jesus has searched your heart and knows that you're the chosen one to be his bride. You fall in love with him the first time you've see him."

"Honey, just don't believe in Satan's lies, just like you believed in his lies tonight. Fight against him. Instead, remember the times where you been in paradise, remember the joy, the laugher, the city, remember them, my dear. Remember Jesus and his promises."

Aviva closed her eyes and remember the place of indescribable beauty.

She remembered the new, upcoming earth, and as she remembers it, she sang, with both peace and joy in her heart instead of fear:

"But I trust, in Your unfailing love yes my heart will rejoice.

Still I sing, of Your unfailing love You have been good You will be good to me."

The End