A/N: So the beginning of this story is set just after the events of Nesting Dolls. Throughout the story some of it will be cannonish but mostly just my own ramblings. I don't own any of the characters, if I did I wouldn't have the time to sit writing about them. Anyway, enjoy...I hope!

Chapter One

As I pull up outside Sara's building panic begins to set in. After the furious intensity of our last argument I'm seriously questioning my own sanity - why on earth would she want to breathe the same air as me, let alone sit down and have a heart-to-heart?

"And you let your sexuality cloud your judgement and I'm going to go over your head."

Her words still smart, but my earlier anger has now died and been replaced by curiosity and concern. Every time a case has even the faintest whiff of abuse she goes completely off the deep end, and now I want to know why. And what I want even more is to provide her with a friendly ear and a shoulder to cry on. And why do I want that? Well, lets not go there, I'm not sure I'm ready to face that myself. I find myself leaving the car, pulled towards the entrance to the apartment block by an unseen force, whilst my subconcious screams at me, demanding to know what I'm doing. As I near the door a thought suddenly occurs to me - you need someone to buzz you into the building, or to come down and let you in, and the moment she hears it's me on the intercom there is no way in hell she's going to oblige. I could just wait for someone to leave but there's no telling how long that'll take, or how long my bravery is going to last. And even if someone lets me through the front door that still doesn't solve the problem of getting into her apartment. I lean back against the cool glass of the front door - I should just leave, this was a terrible idea. Suddenly I'm stumbling backwards, my support removed, and I spin round, ready to bite off the head of the ignorant fool that just sent me flying (my mood is bad enough that I can easily disregard the fact that I probably shouldn't have been leaning against the door in the first place) but when I see who it is my anger instantaneously dissipates.

"Gil." His blue eyes harden.

"Now is not the time Catherine, she's been dealt with. What she needs now is time alone with her thoughts, not another exchange of anger with you. Let it be." His words don't deter me.

"I understand that, that's why I'm here. I owe her an apology, but I also just want to understand why she reacted the way she did."

"And what makes you think she owes an explanation Catherine? It won't happen again, so as long as it doesn't effect your working relationship it is none of your business."

"Lets not forget that it IS my business seeing as she disrespected me, her superior." My temper flares but cools quickly as my concern dampens the flames. "Anyway, thats irrelevant now, forgotten. I'm here because I care and I want to clear the air. That's all."

His eyes soften somewhat...He relaxes against the open door but still blocks my path.

"Cath, no offense but she's dealing with a lot right now and I think you're the last person she wants to see."

"But why? I know the argument was bad and has had a huge amount of fallout, but Sara's a tough girl, what is it about this situation, this case that's so difficult for her to deal with?"

Sadness flits across his face. He composes himself almost instantly but not quick enough for me to miss it.

"It's not my place to discuss this Catherine. Please, just leave it be and go home."

"Grissom you forgot your cell..."

A third voice cuts off our conversation and I break eye contact with Grissom to gaze behind him into the dim hallway at the subject of our conversation. Her brown eyes meet mine, registering shock at first then quickly hardening to anger.

"What do you want?" I'd be lying if I said that her steely tone didn't sting just a little.

"Just to talk. Please?

"I have NOTHING to say to you."

She turns on her heel, making her way towards the stairs. I push past Grissom, pursuing her whilst saying a silent prayer of thanks for the yellow sign reading 'do not use' stuck to the elevator doors. Christ she's fast - one flight of stairs ahead of me already. I push forward, spurred on by worry, curiosity and another emotion I refuse to register. I am vaguely aware of Grissom calling both our names somewhere behind me but I ignore it, pushing myself even harder until finally, on the fifth flight of stairs I catch up with her and reach forward and grab her wrist. She stops abruptly and I feel her resignation before she turns to look at me, and my heart aches when I register no anger on her face, just tiredness and pain.

"Catherine, I'm exhausted, and not up for round two. Just leave, now."

"Sara, I swear, I'm not here to fight, I just want to talk. Please, I just want a conversation, I'm not looking for an argument. I'm begging you..." Shock registers across her pale face but I can't blame her...I don't beg anyone for ANYTHING and even she knows me well enough to understand this about me. She studies me for a moment...Is that a hint of softness I detect in her dark eyes? With a start I realise I'm still holding her wrist and gently let it go. We both watch as it drops limply to her side. God she is exhausted - guilt stabs at me - its awful knowing that this is at least partially my fault. Eventually she raises her eyes to meet mine.

"Okay Catherine, lets talk."

Grissom catches up with us, nearly barrelling into me, panting from the ascent.

"Catherine, I really think-" But Sara cuts him off.

"Gil, its okay, we need to do this, this can't keep happening. Plus, I owe Catherine an apology." He looks surprised for a second then slowly looks from Sara to me, then Sara again. Finally I sense his silent acquiescence. He nods at both of us then turns and begins his descent, leaving us alone again. Sara takes in one deep breath then meets my gaze. Her expression is softer, more...vulnerable. Pain stabs at me again. She beckons to me to follow her up the stairs.

"My apartment is on the sixth floor, we'll talk in there." She turns and climbs the stairs, her shallow breathing matching the pace of my racing heart. I take a little comfort in the fact that she's as nervous as me. We reach the top of the stairs, go through a door then continue down a cool, dark hallway . About a third of the way down she stops, takes another deep breath then pushes a door open, holding it in place so I can enter.

"After you..."

Fuck, what have I got myself into?