Disclaimer: It doesn't take a criminal mastermind to figure this one out.

A/N: *insert explosion here* Uhm, hi~ *chuckles nervously* So I'm PXLight, the newbie of the AF fandom. I've actually only started reading the series about a month ago and finished the entire thing off within the duration of a couple of weeks. (How I obtained all eight books and completed them within fourteen days is a trade secret; just know that my tiny iPod played a major role in this).

After completing "The Last Guardian", I was rather disappointed to find out that it was the final book (I never knew it had come out in July, let alone knew that it was the last book). I remember reading through the thing and after finishing it, I panicked because it really did feel like the end of the series. After a tiny bit of research, my face lit up in shock to find that my worries were warranted. *sighs*

First Pendragon, then Harry Potter, then Alex Rider, and now Artemis Fowl.
asdfghjkl my childhood ohmahgawsh D:

*ahem*

In all honesty, I'm personally not THE biggest Artemis Fowl fan around; that, and I have no idea where I stand with ANY of the pairings (not yet anyway haha) but I figured as I explored the fandom that it wouldn't hurt to give a fanfic a shot, right?

Introductions aside, I'm currently looking for a reliable beta-reader who's willing to aid me in my "doomed-to-fail" quest to keep this fic as relatively close to canon as possible... oh, and the typical grammar mistakes and the such. :D

So... feel free to suggest yourself via review :D~!
Oh, but don't be rude!
Do it AFTER you read this chapter! :O

In any case, here we go!
Hope you enjoy :P

Artemis Fowl: Mirrored Distortion
Chapter 1 – Bite the Hand that Feeds You

Ten minutes.
That was the amount of time it took to both whip up some Irish - style clam chowder and bring about mass hysteria in the underground world of Haven.

It started off with the mysterious crackle and fizz that emanated from every form of telecommunication device present among the People. A thick silence lathered in confusion quickly managed to envelop itself around Haven's mass population, demanding the attention of all. Any work progress was immediately put to an abrupt halt; even the workaholic centaur, Foaly had put down the parts he intended to use to upgrade his Retimager in order to figure out what was going on.

Within a couple of minutes, the scattered noise cleared up. An image then began to form on the 2D screens and 3D holographic projections. When the picture became whole, the live video feed of a teenage human appeared; a fifteen year old Mud Boy donning a black designer suit and matching black tie was ready to address the population. The broadcast coincidentally cut off the boy's Armani loafers as well as anything above the draconic sneer currently plastered on his pale face. The 5'5" human was sitting on a swiveling computer chair in front of large computer monitors that cast an ominous shadow over his features.

"I am sure that you have heard of me."

The articulate, European voice rattled the streets of Haven, breaking the heavy silence that constricted the fairies. Since it was being emitted from every speaker present in the underground civilization, the sound came from all directions. It felt as though the fairies were currently in the mouth of a terrible beast, awaiting their unavoidable fate of being swallowed whole. A bone-chilling atmosphere settled into place. The People shuddered, but were otherwise frozen in place.

The teenage boy continued.

"Despite the Council's efforts to keep my involvement with your kind classified information, I am aware of the rumours circulating through your populous." A slight pause before, "I am here today to inform you that these rumours are accurate."

And with that statement, the first wave of panic washed over the citizens of Haven. The fairies broke out of their stupor and joined in with the escalating chorus of alarm instigated by the Mud Boy's simple message. Abhorrent commotion raced through the streets of the underground civilization, its climax located at the Police Plaza. Tempers flared and questions were immediately batted out as the officials were forced to somehow quell the barrage of concerns while simultaneously attempt to calm down the public.

However, there was only so much the officials could do within the few seconds the Mud Boy had purposely allotted in his message before the teenager continued. Most fairies paused once again and watched as the boy leaned in towards the face of the camera, allowing the video feed to catch the part of his head that had been cut off previously. Cruel eyes were covered by the black lenses of his sunglasses, bestowing an intimidating poker face as well as providing a subtle hint to the People that he was potentially watching their every move. This was a psychological technique the boy had previously picked up in one of his books; coming in closer showed of dominance, threat, and assertiveness.

"My name is Artemis Fowl the Second."

The name itself was enough to bring Haven back into the powerful silence. His voice seemed to bear a weight as convincing as the magical mesmer; however, it was evident that this Mud Man possessed not a single drop of magic in his system.

Artemis' bleached hand adjusted his glasses before curling up with its partner over his crossed legs. The boy exhaled calmly. "Introductions aside," he said cynically, "I think it best that those of the LEP duck for cover like the pathetic cowards you are. Three minutes should suffice. Afterwards, you may survey the damage caused by the sample of what is yet to come." The Irish teenager's left hand rose from his lap and stretched over his mouth, muffling a dark chuckle that escaped his lips.

Another pause.
And then the explosions began.

The explosions themselves were of varying degree, but none were strong enough to threaten the collapse of any major structures. They could be heard through the unnatural quiet of Haven; much like gunshots echoing off into the distance. Artemis Fowl intentionally paused to allow the panic to grow amongst the public, though the spread itself was hindered seeing as the telecommunication devices they possessed were currently disabled due to the work of the human. Questions buzzed amongst the fairy folk, furthering the commotion.

What was going on?

None of the Lower Elements Police had thought better of Fowl's word of caution before several detonations went off in the Police Plaza. Only after three of the small explosions downed five fairies did the others react accordingly to the Mud Boy's warning. Not a single one of the fairies had thought to search for the source of the explosions; they were busy cowering behind walls or desks in fear of being blown to smithereens by the hidden bombs.

Commander Kelp, leader of LEP Retrieval One, was one of the only beings to have the courage to stand against his instincts. He made his way through the chaos of green uniforms that had befallen Haven's supposed greatest line of defense. Determination sparked by anger and betrayal flared brightly from within his dark purple irises. He raised his Neutrino up into the air and fired a few shots up at the ceiling.

"Get the hell out of my way!" he barked. "Let me through!" Kelp continued to train his gun at the ceiling, firing the occasional warning shot to those who apparently had not heard his warning the first time.

The perturbed fairies slowly shifted to the side or stopped in their place in the same manner cars adjusted themselves upon hearing the sirens of an emergency vehicle, allowing him passage. The way many of them looked at Trouble Kelp seemed to be one of apprehension and uncertainty. They knew that Kelp had associated with Fowl on several occasions. By that logic, it was a possibility that Trouble Kelp was aiding the Mud Boy and potentially betraying his own kind. If the fairies had time in between the barrage of detonations to think about that assumption more closely, it would have been pretty obvious that such was not the case.

Trouble Kelp did not have the time to assure them of his affiliations. He shifted his way through the panicked crowd and sprinted down a narrow hallway. There was only one particular centaur in Haven that could possibly have a solution for the current situation at hand. After passing by a room full of LEP techs, he made it to the Operations Booth.

The Operation's Booth was the self - proclaimed genius centaur, Foaly's domain. The room itself was completely isolated from the rest of the Police Plaza in order to comply with the centaur's paranoia; aside from the walls and other obvious architectural features, not even a single fibre-optic cable bonded the two together. Tinted glass separated the LEP techs from Foaly's booth; even the techs were not aware of what was occurring in the room only two metres away.

The door opened upon Kelp's arrival; Foaly must have seen him approaching via security cameras. Without a trace of hesitation, Trouble Kelp stormed in saying, "What in Frond's name is the Mud Boy up to now?!"

Foaly did not respond to the question; he personally had yet to figure out both the Irish mastermind's plot and his motive. Without turning away from the screens, he asserted, "Toss your Neutrino aside, Commander. There is a possibility that it may blow up in your hand."

Upon acknowledging Foaly's potentially correct warning, Trouble whipped the pistol to the side as though it contained the deadly Spelltropy virus. As though on cue, the Neutrino did not even make it onto the floor; it had self-destructed in mid - air.

Before the LEP Retrieval leader had a chance to ask about it, Foaly explained, "Somehow Artemis caused certain electronics to detonate upon his command. How detonative equipment managed to get into everything – even our Neutrinos – I have no idea." The centaur clopped angrily. "D'Arvit, what is going on?" he muttered beneath his breath.

Without so much as a word, the two decided that there was nothing they could do to answer the questions occupying their minds. There was too much to take in at the moment. They turned to face the malevolent smirk of a Mud Boy they believed was worthy of the People's trust that infected every single screen. The expression radiated of a poisonous viciousness that seemed to ripple the air. It was an image that would surely haunt both of their dreams for the next month or so.

Judging from the deliberate interlude, Artemis was watching the chaos at the Police Plaza unfold. Their suspicions were confirmed when Foaly and Kelp noticed the several flickering images reflected off of the black lens of his sunglasses. At the moment, the human was sitting on his large computer chair in a way that resembled any other average teenager lazily watching TV. That, and Artemis seemed as though he was enjoying what he was seeing.

Artemis interrupted his viewing pleasure to turn his attention back to the live video feed. Even with the sunglasses cloaking his eyes, all of Haven could feel his fixed gaze. "I sincerely hope you enjoyed my short display, officers of the Lower Elements Police. Do not fret; I promise you that I will be back with more." The sarcasm was visibly dripping from his voice. "I advise that you keep today in your memories should you even consider about attempting to stop me. Refer to the small clamour as a warning."

Piano fingers delicately removed the sunglasses over his face. Raven black strands of hair lackadaisically flopped down onto his forehead, the longer ones even reaching the center of his closed eyelids. He gently brushed them away without much thought.

Eyes closed, he added, "You will receive further instructions at a later time, albeit much more privately for the sake of the public. It would be to your best interest to obey them if you wish your people to survive the next following months." Another sadistic laugh. "Yes fairies, enjoy whatever normalcy you can cling on to within the next few days. Your fate now lies in the hands of your beloved Council and the decisions they choose to make."

Artemis slowly opened his heterochromic eyes.
Blue and hazel daggers pierced through the hearts of the People.

Foaly stepped back, accidentally landing a hoof on Trouble Kelp's foot. However, the two were too overwhelmed to make any comments. Their eyes were glued to the screens, unable to peel away from the image. They silently watched as Artemis Fowl the II's mouth began to move. Seven words were heard from the speakers in the Operation Booth.

"Haven will be mine." he said simply. "That is all."

And with that, the transmission was abruptly cut off. The technology used to deliver his message returned to their normal functions as though nothing had happened. Phones found their way back to the main menu, television screens continued to play the scheduled programming, and the holographic projection being used in a business meeting flipped back into a three – dimensional pie graph consisting of the current sales projections for a brand of orange juice.

Needless to say, it would be difficult for the People to make that same transition. The underground civilization was enveloped in deep silence. Not a single fairy dared to say a word. It was difficult for the event that had transpired over the duration of ten minutes to sink in. None of them were sure of what to think.

There were many times in the history of the People when fairies such as Opal Koboi had attempted to take over Haven. There were also many times in history when the humans had waged war with the People. All of these times, there was a present threat, but the People had no doubt that it could be resolved.

However, this time around, the threat felt real. More real than anything any one of them had ever experienced. There was hopelessness, despair, and a lingering doubt in the LEP. This entire time, the humans never proved to be a threat to the People. Now an outlier of the equation had managed to both wreak havoc in the Police Plaza and instigate public discord within the span of ten minutes. This smashed any notion the fairies held for the Mud Men; they now all felt like sitting ducks in an oversized cave.

More importantly was the power of Fowl's trump card: fear. Fear itself was a potent poison that currently contaminated the mind of every single fairy, spreading quickly through their systems. It brought on several symptoms like doubt and anxiety. Children were highly susceptible to this poison and mass doses of parental comforting would be required that night in order to appreciate any form of bed rest.

Artemis Fowl was the name of a teenage Mud Boy who was spoken of lightly through stories that had spread throughout the population a few years ago. If anything, these stories were difficult to differentiate from common urban legends. The stories themselves were outrageous, boasting of both of his great aid to the People as well as the severe threat he posed; especially the supposed myths of how he allegedly captured a fairy and defeated the LEP. This Fowl character was also allegedly accompanied by a mountain Mud Man who is said to be strong enough to defeat a troll. A troll!

There was no way the day could continue along its normal pace. Several fairies began to panic, running in circles while screaming baseless remarks like, "We're all going to die!" and "Artemis Fowl will hunt us all!" The more rational fairies tried their best to walk it off and continue their day, despite the plague of dreadful thoughts that assailed them. Most tried to assure themselves that the LEP could handle the issue. Come tomorrow, this fragile belief would be crushed when news of the havoc played out at the Police Plaza spread through the local news like a raging wildfire.

"Was that... really our Artemis?" Trouble Kelp finally asked. He always had his doubts about the Mud Boy, fearing that one day he would betray the People. However, now that such a day has come to fruition, even Kelp couldn't bring himself to believe what had happened. The Commander hated to admit it, but after their – albeit troublesome and inconvenient – adventures, he had grown fond of Fowl. In the back of his mind, a little saying popped into his mind: "You never know the value of something until it is lost."

"I can't believe it myself." Foaly admitted. He trotted over to the control panel where he entered a few codes. A couple of the screens displayed images from the security cameras; they also happened to be the only screens unaffected by Fowl's hacking. The others displayed initial damage reports and live video feeds of the condition of Haven. "But our Mud Boy has caused quite the pickle. Quite. The. Pickle."

The centaur looked back at Kelp. Both were concerned for what was to come, as well as what they needed to do. "I swear." Kelp sighed exasperatedly. He glanced back at the remnants of his Neutrino, now scattered all over the floor. "Even just hearing the name Artemis Fowl gives me a headache."

"Well," Foaly interjected. "That may be caused by your mind having to translate the English... wait." He paused. "That can't be right. Then I..." Foaly thought back quickly. "This is rather irrelevant, but he was speaking in Gnommish the entire time, wasn't he?"

Trouble Kelp shrugged. Foaly seemed as though he was about to burst into another one of his nervous rants and the Commander was not ready to sit through yet another one. "What does it matter? We need to do something about this immediately." He glanced up at the screen. "We'll have to bring in the behavioural analysis unit to examine that announcement once again. Foaly, you'll be in charge of both that and figuring out how Fowl did..." Kelp waved his arms around, gesturing at the perimeter of an invisible mass in the air. He initially meant to say the source of the explosions, but there was a lot more Fowl had done such as the hacking of the telecommunication devices and how he implanted the bombs, etc. "... th-the everything!" he finished, sputtering out the last word.

Foaly chuckled agitatedly. "Yes sir." he snorted. "And before you ask, I have the video recorded." The centaur picked up his tin foil hat and placed it on his head before returning to the desk where the parts of his Retimager sat. He intended on finishing up his work while he waited for the analysis crew to arrive.

Just as Trouble Kelp was on his way out, Foaly put down the metal parts he had picked up, looked over his shoulder, and called out, "That reminds me; don't forget to call Holly over. It's another mission involving Artemis Fowl and we all know that anything involving Artemis Fowl always involves her."

A/N: And now after a single day and a bowl of clam chowder, I have this messy chapter finished OwO" (now do you see why I need a beta-reader? /shot). But in any case: THIS MYSTERY. THIS... THIS INTENSE DRAMA RIGHT OFF THE BAT. OMG PXLIGHT, WHAT HAPPENED TO ARTY?! :O WHY IS HE EVILLLL?

In time, mon ami(e); in time, all shall be revealed.
But that time may come sooner that you think if you review ;)

So please PLEASE reviewwww~ 3
And see you all next time :D