Harry Potter was sure that he was going mad. Absolutely bonkers.
At first, he thought that it would only be a phase for Albus.
When it started, it seemed like something most child wizards did. After seeing Teddy blow up his Potions summer assignments every summer, Albus had decided to replicate those very incidents. Members of the family would walk into the kitchen and see little Albus standing on top of a chair he dragged over to the stove, water boiling. His small fingers would grasp at various plants or materials found around the house to add to the brew while the other hand used a large ladle to stir. Ginny would come in and start scolding him, telling him not to touch the stove.
However, Albus stubbornly continued. As it progressed, ladles were being replaced more often than usual, explosions would shake the house, and scourgify became a common thing to say in the kitchen. How Albus still managed to do this will all the wards in the kitchen still confounded them all.
Then Harry got a brilliant idea.
A kid's potion kit. It was safe, guaranteed no explosions, and would keep him and Ginny from prematurely growing white hairs. Or coming home to a nonexistent kitchen.
It had worked for a while, and no longer did Harry have to mentally prepare himself as he walked in. The worst of his worries was gone.
Until Albus asked Harry to help him brew something.
With a halfhearted smile, he had agreed, not wanting to disappoint the expecting eyes.
The kit was designed for kids, so it probably wouldn't be too much to handle. Right?
Harry was so wrong.
When confronted with the open kit, Harry balked. It seemed like everything from Snape's ingredient cabinet had been shrunken down and crammed inside the box. The kit had everything from juniper berries to wolfsbane. For Merlin's sake, there was even a bloody bezoar in there.
Thankfully, it seemed that Albus was doing most of the work as Harry had been standing beside him for the past few minutes without doing anything. Harry watched in fascination as Albus swiftly and surely scooped up various ingredients and dumped them into the pot.
Just like Serverus.
"Um," Albus said, breaking Harry out of his trance-like state, "I've really gotta go, so could you please add somemandrakeroot?"
He hopped awkwardly a little as Harry nodded dumbly before rushing off while yelling to "stir counterclockwise six times".
Harry stared at the ingredients with a bit of horror. He never thought that he would have to deal with Potions of all things after his Auror exams. His only reassurance was that this was a kid's potion kit and that no harm could ever come from mixing a bunch of things incorrectly together. Probably.
Now. Mandrake root. That was the green lumpy looking thing, right?
Harry inspected the glowing root carefully, turning it over in his hand a few times.
Hesitantly, he dropped it in the pot and braced himself.
No explosions? Check.
Nothing burning through the pot? Check.
No seemingly sentient creature attacking? Check.
Harry breathed a sigh of relief, shoulders slumping down. All was well. The smell, on the other hand was absolutely revolting. It was like the worst possible smell an egg could emit combined with the sweetest, most aromatic scent a flower could produce.
He shuddered.
But from Harry's memories, potions were meant to smell horrible. So he shrugged and started to stir.
How many and in which direction again? Seven, no six, counter-
Harry's thoughts became more and more faint as he weakly stood, the urge to vomit and pass out becoming stronger and stronger.
His legs gave out, and Harry's head banged onto the cauldron, spilling its contents on the floor along with Harry's.
The world went black.