Disclaimer: i dont own these. please r&r this is my first fan fic did it at school thought you might like it. REWIEW ME PLZ
HOW TO RAISE THE PERFECT CHILD
A PARENTS GUIDE.
Of the most foul smelling mud ridden putridly
Sickening insolent brats, Veruca Salt was by far the worst. I first encountered this
viral infection while shopping for a new cloak. The carbuncle in question was
throwing a super sized tantrum for a grand piano. Her parents were meekly
stating the practicalities of an extension to fit in the instrument, when I realized
what must be done.
"But Daddy, you said I could have anything. This is my 'I want it now' day."
As high priestess of the witches' guild I must rid the world of this grotesque wart.
And so I used my demonically evil mind to conjure up a wicked incantation.
"Boiled toad and frosted liver
hyena's gizzards (just a sliver)
Rid the source of childhood horror
May they see no more tomorrow.
Take a rod of lightening bolt
And toast the one who is at fault
Nevermore to whined and scowl
Obliterate this thing so foul
Tie up loose ends one by one
Let my evil will be done!"
Mmmm not quite what I had in mind. Darling Veruca still intact though stood next
to two pairs of smoldering boots.
Pondering this unexpected event I saw the dawn of a new era. It was not intact
the beastly child but the lazy loathsome parents who were the culprits.
So watch out shallow idle fiends IM ON TO YOU!
As a final footnote our precious Veruca is much improved now only twelve
tantrums daily instead of her old average of forty two.
All of which goes to prove the indisputable truth that Verucas are extremely
difficult to get rid of.
In the style of Roald Dahl.
Olivia Maddocks