Milk and Cookies with the Akatsuki
By Weird Kunoichi
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and the characters. If I did, there'd be more ecchi and shounen ai like nobody's business! XP
Chapter 1: Bad Morning
Somewhere in a distant and alternate universe, the rising sun was shining fiercely. It's rays determined to fight through the curtains of a certain Akatsuki member's windows.
The blonde man in bed shifted to his side and curled up, snuggling his hands between his legs to calm his raging morning hormones when he sensed something was a little off. Puzzled, he slowly opens his eyes, only to be startled by two glaring red pupils staring at him.
"Eeaaaahh!" he shrieks and kicked his feet, sending the sheets around his bare waist flying and falling off the bed. He yelps again at the impact of his bare bottom bouncing off the cold, hard floor. He aimlessly flails his arms trying to gain purchase but instead slipped against the silken sheets. Thus causing his head to snap back into the opposing wall and knocking himself unconscious. In his doings, he sadly managed to knock open the curtains, allowing the sunlight to fully enter the room and illuminate his nude, limp body.
The intruder peered over at the naked man on the floor, torn between the reaction to laugh hysterically or to freak out. His eyes twitching, his nostrils flaring, he bit his lips to suppress his laughter. Seriously, he had just witnessed the utmost comical thing ever since his joining the Akatsuki. He managed to stifle most of the outbursts and quickly calmed down to assess the situation. There was gaping hole in the wall and the man still hasn't moved yet. 'Crap! That's about 800 ryos in damages! No way in hell am I responsible for that!' He thought, then remembers the reason why there was a hole in the first place 'Oops. I should probably see if he's ok.'
The stitched man, saunters around the bed and squats down next to the still, naked man. He glances quickly over the man's body before deciding it's safe to move him. Sigh. 'Why does he insist on sleeping nude?' Hesitantly, he picks the man up, carefully not touching any sensitive areas and laid him across the bed. He pulled up the sheets to cover him decently.
He sat down on the bed and scoffed. He nudges Deidara in his shoulder with his finger, "Hey, wake up." No answer. He pokes him again, "Deidara." Nothing. "WAKE UP BLONDIE!" He was shaking the poor guy now by both his shoulders. Well, that can't be good for his head!
"Hm? Wha- what happened?" Deidara was regaining consciousness. "Oh my head!" Kakuzu lets go and gives him some space. "Shit, Kakuzu? What the hell are you doing in my room, yeah?" Kakuzu pauses, and then says, "How's your head feeling?" He rubbed the back of his head, "Eh, it hurts but nothing I can't mana-" he suddenly remembers what happened. Waking up. Red eyes. Falling. Cold floor. Naked. His eyes widened, "Tell me it was just a dream! Please tell me I didn't fall out of bed and pass out naked in front of you?" The look on Kakuzu's face seems to be answer enough. "Aaaaahh! What the crap? Get out! Get out you perverted old man! OUT!" He starts thrashing about, hitting Kakuzu's face with his pillow while clenching to his chest the sheets that concealed his nudity.
As he pulls back for a third strike, he felt a cable-like material wrap around his waist and the same around his wrists, slamming him back onto the bed. The sheets almost slipped off of him. "What the fuck do y-" Kakuzu clasped his hand over his mouth and climbed on top of him, resting his legs on either side of his hips. Bewildered, Deidara barely noticed how the older man's crotch was crushing his own. "Now that you've got that out of your system, please get dressed. Pain sent me up here because you overslept." His eyes were unblinking, his face void of any emotion. He waited a second before releasing Deidara from his bindings. He got off and walked out the room, closing the door silently behind him.
Deidara just lay there, he felt pretty stupid now that he realized how immature he had reacted. 'Of course! That's why he was in here! Damn it! Just when I was starting to get some respect around here, I screw up and acted like a child. On top of that I was hitting him with a pillow! ME! An Akatsuki member! Was hitting his comrade with a pillow. How pathetic.' Then he remembered how Kakuzu practically mounted him right now. But dismissed it as some sort of accident. Poor oblivious Deidara..
Moping, he made his way to the bathroom he shared with Tobi. He took out three toothbrushes from their protective containers and brushed his teeth. He put on his clothes then slipped on his cloak, turning to the mirror to fix his hair. Taking one last look, he lined his eyes. Sigh, 'What am I going to do now? Kakuzu had better not tell anybody!' With newfound determination, he quickly straightens his room and makes his way downstairs. Not noticing someone was huddled under his bed, watching the entire time..
So how was it? I thought it was pretty entertaining. Actually, when I started this story, I had no plot in mind! haha. I just thought having a title "Milk & Cookies with the Akatsuki" was an awesome title! haha Then I just sort of started winging it! And this is what I came up with. I'll probably continue this one. I wanna see how it plays out.. Hmm, who was that weirdo under the bed? Any ideas? Another question! What does any of this have to do with milk and cookies?