Here I was: in the finale of Nashville Star. People said that the show was on its last season. I was in an attempted revival that hadn't gone over well. People said that there wasn't much hope for the show since Chris Young had won several years ago. In fact, people said that I would have been better off doing American Idol, or even The Voice, but they would probably try to keep me as a rock singer. I really wanted to prove that I wasn't just a rock singer pretending to be a country singer. My band hadn't worked out.
"Now we have Portlyn Jacobs." The host, who just happened to be Chris Young said.
I was taking a bit of a different route. I knew that everyone expected me to perform a country song, but I wanted to take a risk and choose to do an acoustic version of an EDM song.
I dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life
Fight fear for the selfish pain it was worth it every time
Hold still right before we crash cause we both know how this ends
A clock ticks till it breaks your glass and I drown in you again
Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need
Changing relentlessly still fine and I don't why
If all love is tragedy why are you my remedy?
If all love's insanity why are you my clarity?
If all love is tragedy why are you my remedy?
If all love's insanity why are you my clarity?
Why are you my clarity?
Why are you my remedy?
Why are you my clarity?
Why are you my remedy?
If all love is tragedy why are you my remedy?
If all love's insanity why are you my clarity?
The judges actually loved it. They thought that I had a good chance to win. I didn't know if it would mean anything. I would still have to convince record labels that I wasn't just a rock singer pretending to be a country singer. The show didn't even come with a guaranteed contract. I knew that winning it would at least get me some facetime with some record labels, but it was pretty much up to me.
The next night, I was amazed that they had been able to get a two-night finale, I was on-stage as I waited for the news. They hadn't even gotten very many stars for the finale. It was amazing that Miranda Lambert had even shown up, but it was probably because she wasn't too big to forget where she came from.
"And now for the winner of Nashville Star…" Chris remarked before doing the dramatic pause that Ryan Seacrest had perfected. "…Portlyn Jacobs!"
I had done it. I had done it! I won the show! I was so excited. I could barely breathe. I wanted to thank my family. I wouldn't even have very much time because the show was almost over.
Of course, I wouldn't have much time to celebrate. I would have to start looking for a label. Part of me wondered what was even the point of being on the show. Of course, the point was that I had already tried to get a deal on my own and it failed and my YouTube page hadn't exactly taken off. I really hoped that I would be able to do it because the million dollars that I had won from the show wouldn't last forever. I could probably take at most a day or two off before I needed to get to work.
I didn't really have anyone to share my victory with. I kind of wanted to go out to a club and party, but I didn't know anyone and partying alone was probably a bad idea. I didn't even know if I was even that popular in Nashville because I wasn't sure how many people really watched the show. I just had to try something. I was willing to try anything as long as I didn't have to take my clothes off. I wondered if the labels would even be interested listening to the songs that I had been writing.
I wasn't sure why I wasn't doing it. I could have found another band. I could have made things work, but I really wanted to be a star. I wanted people to know who I was. I wanted to be known as Portlyn Jacobs, not as the lead singer of a band. I also didn't want to be a member of a girl group either. You could say that I had a lot of expectations, but I had a dream and I wanted to fulfill it. I promised my mom that I would always try my best and never settle.
I wondered if I could go out drinking without being bothered. Only a few people seemed to recognize me on the streets. Nashville had a few bars that I could hit such as Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville and the famous Wild Horse Saloon. I decided to do the smart thing though and turned on the news. As expected, they were covering the story of Juliette Barnes's mother's death. It was then that I was hit with a piece of breaking news. Rayna Jaymes had been in a car accident. I couldn't believe it. I really hoped that she would pull through. She was one of the reasons that I wanted to be a country singer along with Shania Twain.
I went to bed because I didn't want to see any more about it. When I woke up in the morning, I found out that she was in a coma. It was definitely better than her being dead. I didn't know how much longer she was going to be in a coma, but I knew that I couldn't put my career on hold while I waited for news. I had to strike while the iron was hot and it really wouldn't give me a lot of time.
Unfortunately, the calls weren't coming. I had to go to labels myself and it was tough considering that I didn't have a manager. I didn't have anyone. I didn't even know where to look for one. I wondered if I would be able to talk to Chris Young about it. Of course, I didn't know if I would be able to talk to him at all.
It was a week before I finally got an audition. It was like my being on the show was worthless. It was with Big Machine Records: the same label that had Taylor Swift and Tim McGraw. Being on the same label did give me a chance to possibly tour with one of them and that would be awesome.
The only problem was I tanked it. I forgot the words to my own song and they asked me to cover up my tattoos. My tattoos were a part of who I was and I didn't want to hide that. I decided to head home, doubting that there would be a contract offer.
On my way home, I happened to get a call. I didn't know the number but it was a 615 number, so it was definitely local.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Is this Portlyn?" The man on the other end asked.
"Yes." I replied. "Who's this?"
"This is Jeff Fordham from Edgehill Records." He responded. "I noticed your work on Nashville Star and I think that you have real potential to be a star."
"But I thought that Edgehill was in a transition period." I stated. It was why I hadn't bothered to do anything with them. It would be really cool to be on the same label with someone like Rayna Jaymes and also Juliette Barnes. I was shocked that they would even consider me.
"Well, we technically are, but I am in process of becoming president and I am also interviewing and acquiring new artists." He explained. "Are you in town? I'd love to meet with you face-to-face."
"Yes. Do you want me to come by the office?" I asked.
"No, the office is being reworked right now." He responded. "How about we meet for lunch? Do you like the Hard Rock?"
"Yes." I answered. I hadn't actually eaten there, but since it was where he wanted to meet, I wasn't going to say no. Plus, it was supposed to be pretty good.
When I got there, I was glad that I didn't have a car, because they did charge for parking. I was planning on getting one if I could find a permanent job and probably a more permanent residence.
"I'm looking for Jeff Fordham." I told the host. The host didn't seem to have any idea who he was. I hoped that I hadn't gotten there before him.
"Portlyn." A man interrupted. He was tall and kind of handsome. I went over to him and took a seat. I was kind of nervous. "You seem nervous."
"I am. I can't believe that I'm here with you." I admitted.
"You're really good. I want to know why you even went on Nashville Star when your voice is a hell of a lot better than that." He admitted.
"I want to be a country singer. I felt it would be a good opportunity to show that. I felt the other shows would try to market me to rock or pop, but I want to sing country." I explained.
"Well I think that you would do well in either of those genres, especially since country isn't the most accepting to new female artists. Hell, Taylor Swift is moving away from it." He stated. "But I want to get to work immediately if you decide to sign. Do you have any songs that you can record?"
"I have a few." I answered.
"Well I would need something good enough to release as a single." He said. "Of course, I know that it won't be a good idea to do anything until the transition is resolved and hopefully by then this Rayna thing will also be resolved because I don't think anyone releasing anything on any label is a good idea until we find out if she's going to live. Are you free tomorrow?"
"Don't I have to be signed to record with you?" I asked.
"That's why I planned ahead." He replied as he took out a piece of paper.
"There's just one thing that I want." I stated. "I don't want to be forced to dress a certain way and that includes covering up my tattoos."
"Fine." He agreed. "I think how you dress now is fine, except we might need to glam it up a little. Are you okay with wearing more expensive clothing and maybe looking the part of a country singer a little better?"
"Yes, I just really haven't had time to go shopping." I replied.
I took the pen and signed my name. I hoped that I wasn't making a mistake.
"Now, this signing won't be announced right away." He declared. "I don't want you to go telling anyone about this."
It turned out that my studio time got pushed back a week. Juliette had done a benefit concert for Rayna. I wished that I could have gone to be honest.
"Okay, take 3." The producer said. His name was Randy and he was one of the big producers for the label. I began to play before I started to sing.
Your voice is like a ghost inside my head
You whisper lies to try and hurt me again
All the times you doubted me you'll see
I was always better than you made me out to be
Not gonna let you down, let you down easy
You're gonna feel it inside, it's gonna eat you alive
When I walk away, walk away believe me
The pain will say I told you so
Tearing off the grip you've had on me
Time has told me you will never be what I need
The ashes from the hell you put me through
They will be the memories of what's left of me and you
Not gonna let you down, let you down easy
You're gonna feel it inside, it's gonna eat you alive
When I walk away, walk away believe me
The pain will say I told you so
All your promises to all my dreams were never meant to be
You never believed in me
Hiding your regrets, you'll come back wanting me to fall into your arms
Who do you think you are?
Not gonna let you let you down easy
When I walk away, walk away believe me
The pain will say I told you I told you so yeah yeah
Not gonna let you down, let you down easy
You're gonna feel it inside, it's gonna eat you alive
When I walk away, walk away believe me
The pain will say I told you so
I told you so
As soon as I finished, I saw him on his cellphone.
"Do you want to do another take?" I asked.
"I can't. I have to go. I just got a call saying Rayna's awake." He answered.
So I've never written for Nashville before. I don't know who I want Portlyn to be with yet. It could be anyone male or female except Rayna and Will. If you haven't figured it out, Portlyn is played by Cassadee Pope and is replacing Layla. The songs are "Clarity" by Zedd and "Told You So" by Cassadee Pope. Please don't forget to review.