Never to Forget
Yugao
Summary: Sakura wants to stay in love with Sasuke, but he makes it so difficult.
Author's Note: This is probably the first and the last SasukeSakura fic I am ever going to do. I'm not a particular fan of the pairing, but I can relate to Sakura's feelings. Everyone's loved a person who didn't love them back before. This drabble is dedicated to my close friend Gretchen who feels the same way as Sakura does.
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone presented in this fic.
"I want to stay in love with you, but you make it so difficult."
The sun is peeking out from behind huge white clouds. The rain has stopped, but the cool misty breeze remains. The grass I sit on right now is wet with droplets of rain… or are they perchance tears, shed by one like me? I sigh as I look back out into the horizon, to the point where the sky meets the sea. Over there, in the distance, a rainbow shoots out from the water and colors the sky marvelously.
Moments like this make me wonder if now, wherever you are, you still have time to look up at the sky and appreciate the beauty of nature.
Do you remember? A few months ago, you and I – along with Naruto and Kakashi-sensei, of course – sat here at the same hill, looking out over the same sea, the same boundless sky. Naruto was, as always, hungry; he made sure that all of us knew it. Kakashi-sensei seemed not to notice: he was over there, at that little nook beneath the tree, reading his little orange book.
And us? We sat there quietly. Or, more aptly, you sat there, and I stayed with you. I was never one for silence, but there was something incredibly solemn about the moment that I fell into reticence as well. Like always, you were quiet.
I never mention it, but I always see the same emotions over and over in your dark, brooding eyes: pain, anger, hatred, and a thirst to prove your self-worth. I always wished I could be the one to take that pain away, to let you know love, to be the one to save you.
If only I was strong enough to do such a thing.
Now, more than ever, I wish you were here. I wish you could sit here beside me so that we could, once again, look out onto the distance together. Even if I had the certainty that you would never feel the same way about me, the assurance that you are safe, that you are here, would always be enough.
But you aren't here, and each moment tears my heart apart ever so painfully.
I've always known that you see me as a burden, as someone who pulls you down whenever we're on missions. I am weak, and I admit that. But above everything else I would want to overcome my weakness.
I've grown since you left. Tsunade-sama has taken me under her wing, and from her I have learned many things about fighting, about medicine, and about life in general. Whenever she speaks and I seem not to listen, she knows I am thinking of you and she understands. Like at this moment – I am supposed to be with her, but she let me go. She knows that when my thoughts wander to you, I can no longer think of anything else.
I can imagine that you have no interest in hearing about Tsunade-sama. Perhaps you have no interest in anything regarding Konoha any longer.
Perhaps, you have no interest in me at all, and you never have.
Tears begin to well up in my eyes, and I let them fall. If for you this is another flagrant sign of my weakness, I ask you to forgive me. My own mother always told me that crying is a sign of true strength. I do not know which is true; I don't know if I really care.
Why have you left?
Why is it that the last time our eyes met, I saw in them pure hatred, an unstoppable, uncontrollable anger?
Why is it that whenever you look at me, you do not see me?
Why is it that, despite the fact that I'm crying and calling out to you, you do not hear me? Is it because of the circumstances fate has placed between us, or is it your own decision?
I want to stay in love with you, Sasuke, but you make it so difficult.
Author's Note: It's… overly emotional, I know. Do you think you can point out the good and the bad in it? Maybe some factual errors, if there were any? Please and thank you.