Disclaimer: I do not own anything. This is for entertainment purposes only and is not meant to infringe on any copyrights. Once Upon A Time belongs to ABC.
A/N: This is a little one shot that I've written for Jennifer Caitlin who won the OUAT Trivia Quiz on our fabulous facebook group OUAT Fan Fiction & Creations. Her prompt was a heart to heart between Regina and Snow during their time in the Enchanted Forest during their missing year. Hope you all enjoy. Reviews are always welcome and appreciated. Happy reading.
SUMMARY: Regina, suffering over the loss of her beloved Henry has a heart to heart chat with Snow during their missing year in the Enchanted Forest. Can a talk with her stepdaughter help Regina find peace in her soul that might help her to love again?
HEARTFELT
BY:
CharlotteAshmore
Snow White shook out the sky blue receiving blanket and put away her knitting needles in the basket beside her rocking chair. She loved spending time in the nursery, the same nursery that she'd spent the first years of her life in her father's winter palace. No matter the dangers they faced, she could always find peace and comfort in her childhood room. Now it would be home to her own child. Things hadn't been easy since they'd been forced to return to the Enchanted Forest. There had been a period of adjustment as everyone settled once more into a much simpler life than the one they had lived in Storybrooke under the curse. But sometimes…most times…she wished they could all return to the land where they had all been cursed. She missed her daughter and her grandson and the gut-wrenching sadness that burrowed in her heart could not be diminished with the thought of the precious life growing inside her. Nothing would ever be able to ease the ache in her chest that only her daughter and grandson could take away.
She placed the blanket she'd just finished into the cradle where her child would rest in a mere two months' time and couldn't help but remember the one she had made for Emma. She wondered where Emma and Henry were, what they were doing and if they had found happiness amid the false memories Regina had given them to start their new life away from the curse that would have left Henry all alone in the world. All magic comes with a price. She could hear those words in her mind just as clearly as if Rumpelstiltskin were standing there next to her whispering them in her ear. And there was another hole left by a senseless death. He had sacrificed himself to save them all and his absence had never been more clearly felt.
They had never realized just how much a part of their lives the magical mage had become until they had lost him. And it had taken one of her closest friends from her side. Not the Dark One himself, but Belle. She and Neal had left them months before on a quest to find a way to bring the imp back to them. Some part of her hoped they would succeed in resurrecting him, but she didn't have much faith in their efforts. After all, how many times had she heard Rumpelstiltskin say that dead was dead? Even his power couldn't bring back the dead. Oh, but how she wished he were here to guide them in their mission to vanquish Regina's evil and twisted half-sister.
Snow moved to the balcony and looked out onto her father's lands, the Dark Forest surrounding the palace sinister and forbidding in these troubled times. Why couldn't they have one moment where they weren't fighting something or someone and have just a second to breathe? She gazed up at the North Star, Polaris and closed her eyes, wishing with all her might that her daughter and grandson had found true happiness, even if she couldn't find it with her. Her musings were interrupted as the doors to the nursery were flung open and her stepmother entered the room, her footsteps muffled against the thick Agraban rug that covered the stone floor.
"There you are," Regina said, crossing the room to stand next to Snow. "Why weren't you at dinner?"
Snow leaned back against the stone railing and laid her hands against her swollen belly, rubbing soothing circles to help settle her active unborn child. "I wanted to finish the blanket I was making. I'm certain you didn't lack for dinner companions in the dining hall, Regina," she said, biting her lip to keep a smile from curling the corners of her mouth. Somehow, she didn't think the former Evil Queen would appreciate her humor if her stiff posture was any indication.
Regina laughed, a mirthless sound in the still room. "Oh, assuredly not!" she hissed contemptuously. "That man," she snarled the word, "and his disgustingly vile band of miscreants were all in attendance. I don't know how much more of them I will be able to withstand. They're loud, uncouth and have a blatant disregard for authority…"
"Oh, I don't know, Regina. Robin and his men don't have a problem following any of Charming's commands," Snow said with a gamine-like grin, enjoying her step mother's discomfort. It wasn't the norm to see her so out of sorts over a few bad table manners.
Regina's hands fisted themselves where they rested against the balcony's railing. "That isn't the point, Snow. That man is deliberately provoking. He baits me on purpose just to see if he can get a rise out of me," she complained. "They need to go!"
Snow arched an ebony brow. "Regina, we can't ask them to leave. It's entirely too dangerous to leave the protection of the castle with Zelena and her army of flying monkeys out there to wreak havoc on unsuspecting travelers."
"They're not unsuspecting and they're far from innocent. They know exactly what to expect out there," Regina argued, her dark eyes flashing venom.
Snow reached out and laid her hand over both of Regina's to still her fidgeting and smiled warmly, knowing the reasons Regina was fighting so hard against her attraction to the outlaw. But she wasn't quite ready to address those issues with the former queen. She would have to ease into it. For some reason, she suspected there was another reason that had her so distressed. "Would you really send them out there with little Roland in tow? Would you send a child out into such danger?"
Regina closed her eyes and sighed heavily. "No," she said, her voice barely more than a whisper.
Snow could see the conflict on Regina's pale features and her heart when out to her. They had formed a grudging friendship in the last seven and a half months, one that gave Snow hope for the future. If they could put their past behind them where it belonged, perhaps they could become close and have the kind of relationship Snow had always hoped to have with the woman who had married her father for all the wrong reasons. She firmly believed that if Cora hadn't forced Regina to marry Snow's father, they could have been fast friends. Regina was trying so very hard to be a better person, to break the shackles of her past and Snow would continue to be supportive and help her become the woman she knew was buried behind the icy wall where her heart resided.
"I think this is about more than Robin and his men. I think you're uncomfortable around Roland," she said, trusting her intuition.
Regina turned away from her stepdaughter and moved through the archway to sit upon the small settee. With a gesture of her hand, she conjured a tea service and busied herself preparing a cup of the steaming brew, giving herself time to collect herself. She was all too aware that she wasn't fooling Snow and her shoulders drooped wearily.
"He reminds me of Henry at that age, full of questions and curious about everything around him," she said softly, idly stirring her tea with a silver teaspoon. "It h-hurts, Snow. There, I admitted it, happy?" she asked, setting her spoon down and angrily brushing away a tear that escaped the corner of her eye.
Snow's brow knitted in sympathy and she rushed to Regina's side and sat beside her, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her into her embrace. She held her for a long moment, more than a little surprised that Regina would actually accept comfort from her. She pulled away and retrieved a pristine handkerchief from her sleeve, holding it out to Regina.
"We all miss Henry, Regina. There's no reason for you to shut yourself off and grieve alone. We've all lost someone by being sent back here, but we have to learn to rely on each other to see us through the hardest moments. Do you think Henry would want you to suffer in silence, to cut yourself off from those who care about you or to never let yourself love another person because you think it will somehow betray his memory?" she asked, brushing a long lock of Regina's unbound ebony hair over her shoulder. "He would want you to love again, Regina."
"How do you know?" Regina spat. "He doesn't even remember me! And I have to live every day with the knowledge that I will never see him again. I will never be able to look into his eyes again and tell him how much he means to me, Snow." Her voice cracked under the wealth of her emotions as she said, "I'll never be able to tell him how very much I love him and it's killing me. How can I replace him with another child?"
Sorrow colored Snow's features as she met Regina's gaze. "Regina, no. You can never replace Henry in your heart, I know this. Just I could never replace Emma in mine. But you have the capacity to love more than one person. You can love Roland and still love Henry. You can share your life with this child I'm carrying and even be with your true love. None of that will replace Henry in your heart, but you will be able to find a happiness that Henry would have wanted for you."
Regina stared down into her empty tea cup, pressing her lips together in a fine line to keep the lower one from trembling. "You really believe that? That I can love?"
"I've always believed that you could love, Regina, and it pains me the many years that we spent at odds with each other."
"Odds? I tried to kill you, dear," Regina said dryly, arching an ebony brow and fighting back a smile.
"Yes, well," Snow said, shifting in discomfort. "But that is in the past. And once the danger is passed, we have a bright future to look forward to…together."
A knock on the door of the nursery interrupted Regina and she turned toward the sound. The door opened and Roland came bounding into the room, his stuffed monkey clutched tightly in his arms as he made his way to Regina's side. Before she could stop him, he'd climbed into her lap and settled his dark curly head against her bosom.
"Gina, you missed dessert," he said, his dark eyes reflecting his childish exuberance.
Regina smiled hesitantly, her arms coming around the child to hold him close. He smelled of sandalwood and springtime and hope and she couldn't help but be thankful for him. Snow was right. She was already half in love with the child and held more than a slight attraction to his father, no matter how much she tried to deny it. And maybe in time she could learn to love them with her whole heart without feeling as though she were betraying her son.
Snow ruffled Roland's fine brown locks and smiled. "I've got an idea," she said, her voice taking on a note of mischief. "How would you like to sit here with Regina and have her read you a bedtime story to make it up to you?"
Roland clapped his hands, his monkey bouncing on his lap. "Would you, Gina, pwease?"
Regina smiled lovingly at the child on her lap, unable to resist spending more time with him. Snow moved to the small bookcase along the wall and chose a small tome that was filled with illustrations that would make the telling all the more interesting, and handed it to Regina. "I'll leave you two to enjoy the story," she told Roland and winked at her stepmother before taking her leave.
Robin leaned against the doorframe out of Regina's sight and watched as the former Evil Queen read softly from the book, his son's face alight with pleasure. Roland had taken an instant liking to Regina against Robin's better judgment, thinking no good could come from an association with her. But seeing them together, relaxed and content in each other's company, he was willing to rethink his previous concerns. He'd never seen her so soft, usually presented with her firm, I-am-the-bloody-evil-queen-and-you-will-bow-down-and-worship-me attitude. Now he was seeing her true self, one that wasn't afraid to show love and affection for a child. It made him want to know more of her this way.
He was drawn from his thoughts when her voice trailed off as she set the book aside. Roland had drifted off to sleep in Regina's arms and she rose to her feet with him nestled against her shoulder. "Oh, I'm sorry," she apologized, her voice no more than a whisper. "I didn't know anyone else was there." Her gaze was uncertain as her dark eyes studied his features, searching for any indication that he was upset by her spending time with his child.
"There is no need to apologize, milady," he said, his own voice low and soft, a soothing caress to her frazzled senses. The sound caused a shiver to trip down her spine and she had to bite down on her lip to quell the gasp that rushed to escape her parted lips. "May I escort you to his chamber so you may tuck him in? Or would you rather I take him from you if he's too heavy?"
Regina clasped him tighter to her, not wanting to relinquish her hold on the boy. "No…thank you. I'd like to tuck him in…if it's alright with you."
Robin stepped forward and brushed an errant lock of her hair behind her ear, taking liberties with her that he wouldn't have dared take earlier this evening when she'd been spitting snarled commands at him and his men in the dining hall. But now he knew what she'd been hiding from him and he wanted more of it. "I think I'd like that."
Regina smiled hesitantly up at him and followed him out of the room thinking that maybe she should have more heartfelt chats with her stepdaughter.
THE END
