Hate Me

Craig Tucker's hands fisted in his shaggy brown hair and he tugged mercilessly. He wanted to scream as loud as he could, but there would be no point. Nothing would change the overwhelming pain in his heart or the tears that burned his cobalt eyes. His arm swept out and knocked the perfectly arranged picture frames off of their dresser. His dresser now.

Why the fuck was he so stupid? How could he push away the only person that every loved him? How could he do the things he had done and continue to draw breath?

The answer to the last question was simple: he deserved to live in his agony and live to regret every stupid decision that led him to this point.

He was pathetic. A horrible person. He could never atone for his sins.

All he wanted was to see that beautiful smile again; to stare into those wide grey eyes and know that he was loved.

But that was never going to happen again. He'd sealed his fate. He deserved every bit of the heartache he was feeling.

He'd broken every promise and ruined their future together.

A sob tore through Craig's lips and he slammed his fist through the wall of the house they'd built, the one that was now filled with a cold silence. Memories of the love they shared haunted him every moment. He wanted to go back in time and erase all of his mistakes. He wanted Tweek back.

But he didn't deserve Tweek, he deserved to rot in the house they'd made their home with his memories of losing the best thing he'd ever know consuming him.

The last words Tweek had whispered before leaving were stuck on repeat in Craig's mind.

Craig dropped to his knees, raking his hands down his face as he cried harder.

He slammed his fists against the floor as sobs shook his muscular frame.

'This is my worst nightmare come true,' Tweek had said, his voice soft with the weight of his pain.

Craig collapsed, his body curling into a fetal position as his bloody hands twisted back into his hair.

He'd lied to Tweek, cheated on him, and made him feel like he was nothing instead of the gift that he was. All because of Craig's fears and insecurities.

He deserved to die alone in his self-created pain.

Craig's sobs turned to screams of sorrow as he remembered the pain in Tweek's eyes, pain that Craig has caused him.

Tweek had been Craig's world, and now he had nothing to live for. Tweek would never forgive him, never trust him, never love him and Craig couldn't and wouldn't blame him.

If Craig wasn't so hell-bent on taking every second of his well-deserved pain, he would swallow the pills, knot the noose, pull the trigger, whatever it took to get out of the hell that he had created.

Craig's sobs were still body wracking, and the suitcase that dropped in front of his face startled him into silence.

Craig's eyes darted up to Tweek's pale and red-rimmed orbs.

Tweek sat down beside him and pulled Craig's head into his lap.

"I don't understand," Craig cried, his chest heaving. "I don't deserve you."

Tweek sighed and stroked Craig's hair.

"You don't," he agreed. Craig's heart sank as the man he loved confirmed what he had already known. "But," Tweek continued. "You don't stop loving someone because they screw up. Love is forgiving and understanding. You hurt me so badly, and it's going to take a long time to even trust you again. Things will never be the same, but that's a good thing. We both know what's at stake, and we're going to come out of this stronger than we began."

Craig stared up at him with wide eyes.

"Are you sure? I mean…I don't deserve you." Craig repeated, dumbfounded by Tweek's willingness to move past everything.

"I know you don't, but you will. You're ready to be my everything now, the man that we both know you can be." Tweek said confidently.

"I love you," was all that Craig could manage to say as silent tears coursed down his cheeks.

"I love you too. You know, I tried to hate you, but my heart wouldn't listen." Tweek mumbled as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to Craig's temple.

Craig reached a battered hand out and placed it over Tweek's heart.

"Thank you," he whispered.

The ending that many of us wish for. Thank you for reading. Feedback please.