Exodus

"I'm never going to live like that again," Carol hears herself say. The words are quiet, spoken softly because they are mostly to herself, but her voice doesn't shake and there's a certainty that comes with speaking them aloud that she isn't sure she'll feel ten minutes from now.

Beside her, Daryl stiffens. She almost doesn't notice.

"Excuse me?" Rick says. He seems taken aback after his little speech, the one that simultaneously took credit for their survival and blamed them all for Shane's death.

Every muscle in her body is tight and it's hard to control her breathing, but Carol takes a deep breath and looks him in the eye. "I got married the day I turned eighteen years old and have spent my life hearing that every one of someone else's sins were really about me. About taking care of me. That's bullshit. And I will not ever be in that position again, living a life of trying to stay in someone else's good graces."

"You'll die!" Rick stalks toward her, still angry, still intent on declaring himself Lord Grimes over them all.

"Probably," when she says it, she feels like she's floating. "I probably will. But if I do? It will be because of my own shortcomings, not yours. I escaped my daddy's will by trading it in for Ed's. I'm certainly not trading his in for yours. Everyone else can follow you if they want, but I'm finished following behind someone that tries to make me feel responsible for their actions. You probably really think you've done everything you've done for the good of the group. But the kindest despot is still a despot, and I am finished with that."

"Get out, then," Rick says. He moves into her personal space, leaning in, "you think you're better off on your own, then go."

She sees his eyes widen before she notices the reason why. Daryl is stepping between them, his hand landing on Rick's chest and pushing him away from her.

"Close enough." Daryl says. He doesn't even sound angry when he says it, and Daryl usually sounds angry even when he isn't. "You can say what you want to say from back there."

There is absolute silence.

"You think I'd hurt her? I'm tryin' to save her!" Rick shouts.

Daryl doesn't shout. He shakes his head as he meets Rick's eyes. "Know you won't. Ain't nobody or nothin' gonna."

The certainty of her own impending death falters. Just a moment ago, he'd been arguing with her, telling her that Rick had done alright by him. She didn't have any idea what could have possibly changed in the moments in between.

Whatever had been possessing her to allow her to speak to Rick that way was passing. She didn't want it to. She tries to cling to that feeling of freedom even as it fades away. Her voice shakes when she says, "Daryl?"

"Figure I ought to be lookin' for Merle," Daryl says, looking away from Rick and her gaze out of the corner of his eye. "Likely won't find him. Could use some company."

For some reason, Carol can't stop swallowing long enough to speak, so she just nods.

Everyone is talking at once and she can't make out a word of it. Daryl is nodding in Rick's direction and walking toward his bike. He looks back over his shoulder at her and she realizes she's still standing, staring, when she'd been the one to declare her intent to leave.

"You comin with me, or headin' your own way?" She nods again and he rolls his eyes at her. "Weren't no yes or no question. Had plenty to say a minute ago."

"I'll go with you," she says, and she half walks and half runs until she catches up with him.

She's climbing behind him on the bike when she hears him mutter under his breath, "Other way around, I reckon. Probably a dumbass idea, you know that?"

"I didn't ask you to go," she snaps, only to immediately regret it. What if he changes his mind? She isn't sure she can walk away alone, not now that she thinks she might survive after all. Daryl can teach her not to be a burden. They can be fine.

So quiet she almost doesn't hear it, he says, "You ain't the only one spent a whole life in some asshole's shadow. World's ended. Ever gonna try it another way, gotta be now."

The revving of the engine would cover any response she makes, so instead of speaking she puts her hands on his waist and just holds on.