A/N: Like I said in the summary, this is mainly what I think would happen if L were chained to a woman. THIS WILL NOT TURN INTO SLASH. I WILL NOT PAIR L WITH THIS OC; there's a reason I didn't choose "romance" as one of the genres. There we go, now that that's cleared up...
Chapter One: In which Ryuzaki meets a weird chick, and all hell breaks loose.
"D'you think it's smart to chain him to a girl?" Soichiro asked.
"Probably not, but what choice do we have?" Aizawa countered. "When's she being brought here, anyhow?"
"Matsuda's bringing her," Soichiro said, checking his watch. "They should be here soon."
"You chose Matsuda to get her?" Mogi questioned, arching an eyebrow. "Forget the whole L situation; is that smart?"
"Obviously so; there they are." Soichiro gestured to the elevator, where four people were emerging. One was Matsuda, happily chatting away and smiling. Two security guards walked behind the naive man and the girl next to him. She was probably in her early twenties, or maybe nineteen. Her dark brown eyes were glazed over, like the guards', from listening to Matsuda. Her arms were behind her back, stuck together with handcuffs.
"Ryuzaki, where are you?" Soichiro asked, glancing around behind him.
"Right here, Yagami-san," L replied from next to him. Soichiro hadn't noticed the detective's arrival, which wasn't exactly uncommon. Nor was the fact that L was finishing off a chocolate bar, which had been schlepped to him by Watari. Soichiro pinched the bridge of his nose as Matsuda and his group approached.
"Good afternoon gentlemen," Soichiro said to Matsuda and the two guards. The latter two left instantly at Soichiro's word, probably ecstatic to get away from Matsuda's incessant rambling.
"And this would be Kai Hiroko," he said to the girl beside Matsuda. She nodded, looking around warily.
"They said I'm supposed to be under surveillance," Hiroko asked. "But they wouldn't tell me anything else."
"What is going to happen is that you're going to be chained to this insomniac until he's sure you're not Kira," Light explained, gesturing to L. The detective turned to him.
"No need to be so blunt, Light-kun," he said to him. L then looked back to Hiroko. "But yes, that is essentially the plan."
"Okay, chained?" she asked. "Can we clarify a bit?"
In response, Light held up the shackles that had once been used to bind him to L. Hiroko's eyes widened slightly, then became defensive.
"No. No way. I'm not being tied up to anyone," she said. "Not in a million years."
"Well, this is simply too bad," L commented, "as you have no choice in the matter. You are a high suspect in the Kira case, and therefore you will be under surveillance."
"Yeah, 'under surveillance' doesn't mean strapping my arm to you," Hiroko claimed. "It's perversion, and just plain weird!"
"Actually it isn't," L pointed out, "as it is for safety purposes. Until you are cleared from all suspicion, you will wear these chains. And that is final," he added as Soichiro snapped one of the shackles to Hiroko's arm. She tried to jerk away, but hadn't been expecting it, and now she could only watch hatefully as L clamped the other end to his own wrist.
"What am I supposed to do now?" she asked exasperatedly. "Stop my whole life because of a false accusation? I've got friends and stuff, you know."
"If you wish to go on any social outings, I must accompany you," L said.
"You're kidding, right?" Hiroko asked hopefully.
"Nope, he's not," Light told her, smiling grimly. "Best of luck; I was tied to this lunatic for over a year, almost. It's not so bad; once you lose your sanity it's tolerable. But he's not kidding about the whole accompanying thing; I'd advise not setting up any dates while you're tied. It's downright awkward."
"No need to make it sound so repulsive, Light-kun," L said to the younger male.
"Need I remind you that I'm the one with the most experience in this?" Light asked rhetorically. "I was bound to you for what seemed like forever. Need I remind you that Misa still thinks you're creepy?"
Hiroko inwardly groaned. "Fine," she said to L, putting on her most defiant face. "I'll be tied to you for as long as you freaking want. But let me tell you that I am going to be the most insufferable female you've ever met."
"I do believe Misa has already claimed that title," L commented. For a second, Light looked as if he would defend the model, but thought better of it and just nodded in agreement.
And that was how Hiroko was sitting less that two feet away from L in the Task Force headquarters, staring at him. Well, more at his weird posture; that couldn't be healthy for his back. And in the three hours that she had been chained to him, she hadn't seen him eat anything of substance. Hiroko sighed and looked back to her own computer. Since she had aced her technology course in high school and first year college, she had been given the task of repairing a few laptops, black hair tied behind her head to prevent it from getting in her face.
"Is something the matter?" L asked, not moving his eyes from his own computer. "You do not seem pleased."
"Why would I be pleased?" Hiroko asked. "I'm stuck here, chained to you, being accused of someone I'm not."
"Every time you say that, your Kira percentage raises by two percent," L simply said.
From the next station over, Hiroko heard Light call, "Better get used to that; he says it all the time. And I do mean, all the damn time."
Hiroko went back to the laptop, flipping it upside down and unscrewing the case to get a look at the wiring. After a few pokes, she determined that a few wires were loose, and a screw had fallen out on the inside. She could fix the wires, but the screw would require tools.
"Ryuzaki," she asked. L didn't move. "Ryuzaki!" she said a bit louder. He finally glanced at her questioningly. "I need a screwdriver," she explained. L, looking slightly put off, dug around in a drawer for a moment. He retrieved candy wrappers, a stack of dusty papers, and finally, a small tool kit. The detective tossed it to Hiroko and quickly resumed his work.
Glaring at the laptop, Hiroko began working with the screwdriver to get the little screw back in and not electrocute herself at the same time. "Dammit," she muttered as the screw came loose again.
"Do you often voice such vulgarities?" L asked. He had noticed her plight out of the corner of his eye, but refused to take his sight off the spreadsheet on his monitor.
"When I'm frustrated," Hiroko said shortly. "There, done." She transferred the laptop to a cart beside her and picked up another one.
After another hour of working, with Hiroko becoming more and more annoyed by L's behavior, she began fidgeting in boredom. Eventually, she stopped working on her laptop and looked around the desk, searching for something.
"Do you require anything, Hiroko-kun?" L asked.
"Where's the key to these damned things?"
"And why would you need the key? As I said, you are not allowed to unlock the chain at any time," L said. "What purpose would they serve if I allowed you to run off any time you pleased?"
"So I'm not allowed to go anywhere without you?" she clarified. L nodded once. "Then how am I supposed to go to the bathroom?"
"I would accompany you, of course."
"What?" Hiroko's voice had risen an octave. "Okay, forget the chains. Now this is creepy."
"This is my job," L explained patiently. "I observe you to determine if you are or are not Kira. If you are, you will be arrested. If not, you will be cleared and unchained."
"Come on! I just want to use the bathroom! I'll come straight back here, I swear."
"No," L said simply. "I will not unlock you. If you wish to use the facilities, I will come with you to accommodate the chain."
"No, no, I'll wait. I can wait," Hiroko said, staring back at the laptop in front of her. It had a virus from a time when Matsuda had gone to some strange website, trying to follow a lead. Perhaps it was best if he just stuck to playing solitaire like usual, Hiroko thought. Thirty seconds after Hiroko's outburst, she finally sighed and stood, yanking L up after her.
"Fine, you're coming with," she said in defeat. "But we're going to the damn store first."
"But why?" L asked, confused. "The facilities are just down the hall-"
"Because I need tampons!" Hiroko said, a bit louder than necessary. She didn't really need tampons; she was just frustrated and already fed up with the detective. A few of the members of the Task Force looked up - including a snickering Light - also curious as to L's response. He merely furrowed his eyes a bit, but conceded, calling Watari to bring the car around front.
After Hiroko and L left, followed by Watari, Light looked to Matsuda, who was also refraining from laughing too loudly.
"Do you think Ryuzaki even knows what tampons are?" Matsuda asked, tilting his head to the side a bit. Light thought about it and shrugged.
"Who knows what enters that guy's mind?"
At the nearest convenience store, Hiroko was getting a little pissed. Everyone was staring at her, and she couldn't blame them. She was basically handcuffed to this weird slouchy guy who seemed eternally hungover, and the slightest bit ADD. L, hands in his pockets, seemed to be trying to look anywhere but in front of him. Hiroko took a slight satisfaction in watching the brief flash of comprehension on L's face when he realized what it was she was after. She made sure to stay in the aisle for longer than truly necessary; it was going to be one of the highlights of her time spent chained to L, she could deduce.
Finally taking pity on the detective, Hiroko randomly took a box off the shelf. She couldn't help notice how L's pace seemed to quicken when he realized they could get out of the aisle. Instead of heading to the register, L swerved and moved to the back of the store. He grabbed a can of soda and a few packs of chocolate.
"Do you eat nothing but sugar?" Hiroko finally asked.
"Yes," L said as they approached the checkout. The cashier gave them a funny look as she rung up their items. Hiroko had to admit that they made quite a weird sight. Hiroko tried not to meet her eyes when she handed the woman the money.
Once back in the car, Watari driving them back to Task Force, Hiroko chanced another question at L.
"What's with the sitting thing?" she asked.
"Sitting like this increases my reasoning abilities by forty percent," L told her.
"How much longer do I have to spend stuck with you?"
"Hiroko-san, it hasn't even been one day yet," L told her. "In fact, it has been five hours."
"Feels like five years," Hiroko muttered, staring out the window. If she concentrated hard enough, she could almost imagine that it was her mom in the front seat, driving her to soccer practice in the eleventh grade. However, the clinking of the chain and L's constant mutterings shattered her imaginary world often.
"Uh, I think they're back," Light said, turning his head toward the source of the commotion. L and Hiroko had indeed arrived, and they were arguing about something rather heatedly.
"The fact remains that you tripped me to fall down the stairs," L claimed, rubbing his arm.
"You idiot! Why would I trip you? When you fell down the stairs, the chain yanked me after you and I fell, too! I'm not that stupid!" Hiroko was yelling, limping along after him.
"Arrogance raises your Kira probability by one percent."
"Oh will you just shut up?"
"Fine then, if that wasn't on purpose, then neither was this." Light smirked as L quickly darted his foot out into Hiroko's path. Landing hard on the floor, she glared up at him and scowled.
"You bastard! How was that not on purpose?" she asked furiously.
"Then admit that you are Kira and you were hoping that by tripping me, I would die!"
"Excuse me for having bad coordination! I'm not Kira! If I were, you'd be dead by now, I swear to God!"
"That comment raised your Kira probability by five percent."
"I told you to shut it!"
"I don't want to."
"Then I'll make you!"
"With what, may I ask?"
Light and Matsuda weren't even trying to hide their amusement now. "Who do you think kills the other first?"
A/N: ...and that's the first chapter. I know it's weird, and it doesn't follow the actual story plot. Get over it. It's just my drabbles. There is no following of timeline, it's not written in any "arc" or whatever. :D