Okay so yeah, my first Lost fic. I just don't think there are enough Liam POVs out there. So yeah... CHARLIE IS AWESOME!!
'You never looked out for me!'
Liam woke with a start, his wife beside him stirred restlessly. He laid a hand on her shoulder and she quieted, a contented smile lighting her face.
Liam gazed down on her, but shook his head abruptly, he had a headache, Charlie always managed that, to break down his last defense. But God, he deserved it.
He knew how much his brother had looked up to him, how much Charlie had wanted his approval. And Liam had thrown it all away on drugs, sex, and drinks.
He inhaled sharply and rubbed his temples. Charlie was lost, Liam had seen it when his brother had visited that morning. If only they could talk maybe Liam could get him off the drugs. Could try to make up for what he did to his own brother,
He whipped the covers off his legs angrily and went to start some coffee. Sleep was out of the question tonight.
The pot burbled and the steam hissed in the bright kitchen light.
Whenever he thought of Charlie his insides squirmed guiltily. Liam couldn't remember much of what happened in those years when he became what Charlie was today. His thoughts would stick when he tried to recall a gig or a song. Now and again he would see a flash of color or Charlie's shocked and hurt face. Garbled conversation and the little piles of drugs.
He slammed down the cup, his fingers trembling He knew he had no excuse for those wasted years, no excuse for the way his brother's eyes became hooded when he showed up for dinner,. The little flinching movements whenever Liam talked. And of course the torn skin that wound itself up Charlie's arms magically every time he visited.
Why did Charlie torture himself? He was always so happy, so optimistic and light. He always had an answer even if it was the wrong one, but something was gone, some spark that had always been there before, it had been eaten away.
And Liam knew that it was his own fault, he didn't have the guts to find help for Charlie, to question him about the cuts. Didn't have the guts. He was so afraid that he might break Charlie apart again.
It was like the two brothers had fallen such a long way, Charlie was still falling, and Liam was watching him go deeper and deeper.
The twitching hands, the sweating, the shifting eyes. How long had it been going on? When had Charlie's nightmare begun?
Almost a year ago Liam had gotten a midnight call, Charlie had overdosed. Was dying in a cold hospital bed. Two weeks later, when Liam was sure that his brother was dead, Charlie had shown up at the house, a present for Megan, groceries for Karen, and some vague comments about a girl from Canada.
Sometime Liam wondered if their lives had gotten mixed up, if Charlie's perfect life had been replaced by Liam's mess.
Liam had a daughter, a wife, a house, a job, even a Dog. Everything was set in place, too good to be true.
What did Charlie have? A failed image, his guitar and his drugs that was all.
And it was all Liam's fault.
GO CHARLIE!! I don't know when I'll update, probably by next weekend.