A random fic I thought up while working on my Russian Revolution essay…enjoy!

A middle aged blonde woman sat at her desk, screwing up a ball of paper and chucking it at the window, her hands shaking in frustration. She pushed her blonde wispy hair behind her ears and sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Argh!" She shouted randomly, anger overcoming good sense.

Opening up her word document, she read for five silent minutes before she again became frustrated. She slammed a button on her computer, deleting her entire day's work. "Nothing works anymore!" She grumbled, shuffling her papers aside and furrowing her brow.

"It's because you killed me," A voice said calmly. It came from a behind her, a voice that she had imagined, clearly.

J.K. Rowling massaged her temples. "Yes," she whispered to herself. "I've had a hard day, but Sirius Black is not real and he is not talking to me right now. I'm just tired."

A tap on her shoulder made her jump out of her skin. "Of course I'm real," he said snappishly. "I mean, I won't be for much longer, because you killed me."

J.K. Rowling jumped back across the room, and then realized what an opportunity this was. "You look way more like Johnny Depp than I imagined," she murmured, reaching out to trace the lines of his face. She pulled back quickly, because not matter if he was her character,. It was still weird and stalker-esque to do that to someone. Especially a rather hot someone.

"And I'm way more cheery than you make me out to be, love," Johnny-Sirius said, quite blasé, as he leant against the back of her navy couch. Joanne had the bizarre urge to burst out laughing. Who would've thought that one day her very own character would just be chilling in her living room? "Don't know why Gary Oldman played me in that bloody movie. Far too depressing, that chap. I nearly nodded off. And, my hair is not that grey!" He said, clutching a lock of his raven black hair. Of course, Joanne thought, that's the vain Sirius coming out now.

J.K. Rowling was still rocking back on her heels because of the fact that a Sirius Black who looked like Johnny Depp had turned up in her living room. "Anyway," Sirius brushed back his long hair and then gestured towards her. "The point is, I know where you live, so if you don't let me live, I will find you."

"Let's not be hasty," Joanne said, placating. Who knew what Sirius Black/Johnny Depp would do if he got angry?

"Hasty," Sirius said. "Hasty? You killed me off, you bloody mad woman! I'd only been in two of the books!"

She stepped forward and touched his arm, shocked to find him actually substantial. "It's alright," She soothed. "This is the way I have to write it."

"Not, it's not." He argued childishly, poking his tongue out. "Maybe you'd be finding it easier to write is I was still alive and you could introduce a bit of comic relief into the story. It's getting depressing, man. Not cool."

"I beg your pardon," Joanne gasped. He was a character and she was his writer. He was supposed to bow down to her and do what she told him to, not get his own ideas and start threatening her!

Sirius's face began to swim before her, his body becoming a smoky sort of substance. "And just remember," He gave her a toothy grin. "If I don't hunt you down and punish you, all of my fan-girls will. And I'm one of the most popular characters in the books" He jutted his chin out. "So there."

And with that, he disappeared in a puff of steam and Joanne sank to the floor. "Perhaps I shouldn't have made him so childish and arrogant," She murmured to herself. "I definitely shouldn't have made him so childish and arrogant," She said firmly.

She closed her eyes, only to see Johnny Depp-Sirius Black swimming in front of her eyelids. "Oh dear," she sighed, heading towards her computer to rewrite her entire draft.

Review please; it'll make me cheery while studying for my History exam!