Chapter 1: Free Prize Inside!!
"C'mon you guys!! Hurry up!" Naruto hollered back to his friends, Sasuke and Sakura.
"What're we doing here, Naruto? Where are we going?" Asked Sakura
"Why, we're going to the flea market, of course!!" replied Naruto with his usual enthusiasm.
"You said that we were going to the ramen bar. You never said anything about any stupid flea market." Said a very irritated Sasuke (But then again, he always sounds that way.)
"I know I SAID that, but what I MEANT was that I would buy you ramen if you came with me! Way to read underneath the underneath, guys!!" said Naruto sarcastically. "Sheesh, and you call yourselves ninjas!"
"Whatever. Just do your shopping quickly, 'cause I'm getting hungry." Said Sasuke
"It's a bright sunshiny day! Doesn't it just make you want to shop for cheap, below average items?!" Naruto said
"Let's get going, Naruto!" said Sakura impatiently
The three of them walked up and down the streets of Konoha village, looking at stupid things while Naruto held his froggy wallet close to his heart, nuzzling it and showering it with sweet nothings. Naruto had almost forgotten entirely about what he was at the flea market for, until he saw one stall in particular that had a leather recliner inside, and was attended by a girl with short brown hair wearing strange clothes.
"STOP!!!" yelled Naruto "THAT is the one!!!
"What? Wait a minute, Naruto! What are you talking about?" asked Sakura
But she was too late. Naruto was already frolicking towards the recliner with Froggy wallet held on high. Sakura and Sasuke sighed and followed along, slowly starving to death, but being too lazy to do anything about it. Neither of them wanted to pay for their meal, seeing as Naruto DID offer to buy them lunch.
"Hey, you there!" Naruto yelled and pointed to the girl "Tell me about this uh, item here!"
The girl looked up from the magazine she was reading, and all of the sudden her eyes lit up.
"Oh my GAWSH! Are you Naruto?!" she asked as she began to stand up, looking as though she were about to pounce.
Naruto eyed her suspiciously "Yeah.... What's it to ya?"
If anyone even cared to know who he was, or if they knew who he was they either wanted to kill him or run far, far away from him.
She shrieked and tackled him, holding him in a bear hug.
"EEEEEK!! You're even cuter in person!!!" she screamed
"Hey, wait a sec! I don't even know you!!" Naruto yelped as he desperately tried to get away.
"You want to know who I am? I'm Jordan, but you can call me Jo-Chan!" she announced rather loudly. "Your cheek whisker birthmark thingies are so cute, I can hardly stand it!!" she added
As Jo-Chan sat there stroking Naruto's cheeks and squealing weird things, Sasuke and Sakura walked up clutching their stomachs, which were slowly turning into black holes and sucking up the entirety of their bodies into total oblivion.
"Who are you?" Sakura asked
"Who? Me? I'm Jo-Chan!" Jo-Chan said brightly, still holding Naruto, who was totally limp in a sad attempt at feigning death, hoping to escape Jo-Chan's Kung-fu grip.
Sakura was utterly confused. WHO in the world could ever like Naruto of all people? Sasuke would be understandable, but no one would ever freak out like that for Naruto. At least nobody in the right mind would.
Sasuke stood there, still clutching his stomach. He took a look around the stall and noticed a sign hung outside.
"'Free Prize' huh?" he muttered
"Yup!" Jo-Chan said rather happily "Oh, yeah! I should probably let you go now, huh Naruto-kun?"
She decided it was time to let him go after his face started to turn blue.
"Sorry about that, Naruto-kun! I guess I lost my cool for a minute there! Hee hee hee..."
"Yeah, I guess..." Naruto mumbled cautiously "anyway, about this recliner and free prize."
"Yes?" Jo-Chan said sweetly
"Umm, well, how much is the chair?" Naruto asked
"Oh! I am SO glad that you asked!" she said, suddenly putting on a totally suave salesperson act. "This quality, 100 leather name brand La-Z-Boy comes to you at a once in a lifetime price of $25!"
"WOW!" By this point Naruto was totally drawn in. Nothing short of the hand of God could stop him from buying that recliner. But Sakura wasn't as convinced as Naruto was. What could possibly compel someone to sell expensive furniture like that along with a "free prize"? It seemed like Jo-Chan was practically trying to give it away! So she went to inspect the recliner. She sat in it, and it didn't give way. That was a good sign. Then she leaned back.
"Hey, Jo-Chan," Sakura asked
"Mmmyess?" answered Jo-Chan in a very odd fashion
"Isn't it funny how when you lean back in this chair, that the back of the chair almost touches the floor? I mean you lean back and instead of stopping where it should, it just keeps going and going..." Sakura said in a half laughing half sarcastic-accusatory tone.
Jo-Chan saw Sakura was trying to ruin her sale and came up with a clever counterattack.
"Well Sakura-Chan, we have a term for things like this..." said Jo-chan in her cool, suave salesperson tone.
"What? A term for stuff that's busted?" Sakura said confidently, almost sure she'd have Jo-Chan caught in her own web of lies.
"Busted," Jo-Chan started "Is such an ugly term. In this particular case we call it a 'functional comfort adjustment'!"
The moment the term was uttered Sakura and Sasuke both sweatdropped simultaneously and decided it was a lost cause. Naruto was free to spend his money however he wanted, even if he wanted to waste it on a broken recliner.
However, when Naruto heard the term 'functional comfort adjustment' his face lit up in a way that said "I'm totally clueless as to what that's supposed to mean, but I'm sold!". Naruto made this way too easy. Almost like shooting fish in a barrel. In fact it was so easy; he might've even made the devil feel guilty.
"Did you hear that Sakura-Chan? It's only a functional whatchamacallit! Don't you worry your pretty pink head!" Naruto said, sounding victorious
"By the way," Sasuke grunted. Yes, he grunted because his stomach hurt him so. "What's the 'functional' part of it?"
"Well, you see Sasuke-kun," Jo-Chan walked over to demonstrate on the chair "Because the chair goes so, er, level, you could almost have it double as a guest bed!"
"WOW!! A chair AND a bed!! No, wait it's more like a, uh, CHED!!" Naruto was totally awestruck at the thought of having a bed and a chair in one.
"Sasuke-kun," Sakura whispered "what do you say we get out of... Hey! Where? Where'd you go?"
"I'm way ahead of you."
Sakura looked all around and saw Sasuke walking away.
Sasuke and Sakura ventured off in search of food, while Naruto and Jo-Chan excitedly discussed all the possibilities of the ched.
Naruto suddenly leaned in."Hey, Jo-Chan? What's the Free Prize?"
"Well," Jo-Chan motioned for him to move in close "It's perfectly beyond your wildest dreams!"
"Woah! Really?!"
Jo-Chan smiled "Yep!"
"OK! I'll take it!!" Naruto once again held his froggy wallet on high.
"Alrighty! I'll have my movers take it over to your place! It should be there by 5:00!"
And so after some other things were said, Naruto said goodbye to Jo-Chan , had a bittersweet separation with his money, and gave a big hug to his new chair (making Jo-Chan mildly jealous.) and started on his way to the ramen bar for lunch, even if it was 4:00 in the afternoon.