Killing Curiosity

:: Some say that curiosity killed the cat. But for people who have tasted desire, such as I, know better- that curiosity fuels all, and I'm pretty sure I haven't been killed yet :: "Is that an Uchiha thing, or just a Sasuke thing?" "Shut up, Haruno."

To.

Trust. Love. Betray. Deceive.

.o.o.o.

I haven't seen him since he tried to kill me..

.o.o.o.

He tried to kill me.

.o.o.o.

Still, I just can't get that bastard out of my thoughts..

I hate his guts after all..

.o.o.o.

Did I mention that I just lied?

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"I'm taking your silence as a yes."

I remained quiet after this statement, thoughts racing through my mind..

What if I chicken out at the last possible second?

What if he kills me instead?

It wouldn't be the first time he tried..

"Tsunade…" I made sure to choose my words wisely, "I'm not sure you're making the most sensible decision by choosing me."

In other words, I just don't want this mission.. But I know Tsunade won't let me decline.

The blonde sighed, setting her gaze on the empty sake bottle resting on top of dusty pile of paperwork and looking among the few elite ninja present at the meeting. ANBU Black Ops that I'd never met in my life. "If anyone could complete this mission, it's you. Not Naruto, not Neji, but you," She paused, "I can't bring myself to trust anyone but you with this." Her gaze was set on me. I averted my eyes from hers. I knew I couldn't decline this mission. It was my job. However much I hated it sometimes, it was my job. "You know I'm not asking you to kill him."

I have the hands of a healer.. Yet, I'm always expected to kill. Does anyone else see the sweet, bitter irony behind this?

"I understand Lady Tsunade but-" I don't think I could bring myself to do it, no matter how much stronger I've gotten. It's his life and no matter how hard we've tried in the past, he's always pushed us to the back of his mind and done his own thing.

"Sakura! Why can't you be reasonable? You know for a fact that if this mission isn't complete, he will come. The village will be demolished." Tsunade was getting more irritated by the minute. I know it's my fault. I regret to say that I don't really care. "He wants to kill every person who's ever laid foot in this place. This isn't a mission for just anyone. It's a mission for you."

"What makes you think he will listen to me?" I asked exasperated, running my petite healer-gloved hand through long pink locks.

"Sakura, all men have desires.."

Oh no, not this speech again..

"..And you are a beautiful, youthful lady-"

"Tsunade, you're starting to sound like Gai-sensai.. And petty words and persuasion tactics don't work on guys like him.. If they did, this mission wouldn't exist."

I think Tsunade was at a loss for words. Therefore, I spoke in her place. She's always been a woman to speak her mind. A woman of many words, you could say. But words she would never say came out of my mouth..

"I can't just tell him to calm down, get over it, and come home. The elders had his entire clan murdered. He spent his whole life chasing down the person he found responsible for it, and ended up wasting almost ten years of his life. If it were up to me, they would be prosecuted and put to death." Harsh words for a harsh cause, I guess.. "But his anger goes even beyond that. The elders are few of the many people he wants to kill. It took us a year just to get Konoha rebuilt after Pain.. and Sasuke's goal is more than destroying buildings and causing pain. He wants everyone dead so that there's no one left to rebuild this time. Then, he believes that he can rid himself of the pain that he feels by accomplishing this goal. It's not as simple as you make it sound."

Tsunade rested her forehead on her palm whilst sighing. I couldn't help but feel minutely responsible for a small percentage of her stress. Accepting this mission would bring her at least a small slither of hope that this village wasn't going to be in ruins within the next year. Her façade had been slowly diminishing over the past few weeks. She's been back and forth between villages, trying to get the latest treaty documented. She's been stressing over recent attacks and failed assassinations, keeping Konoha's citizens out of panic, even if it meant keeping them in the dark about what was going on, and dealing with the wavering trust among countries. Our village has fallen upon hard times, indeed. Of course, if you are a normal civilian, then you would have absolutely no idea about the trivial matters going on. Know nothing of the various enemies peeking in every crack, plotting their next attack or of the slowly disintegrating economy that was falling apart right before them. Falling into pieces and crumbling into nothing but mere pebbles. At. Their. Feet.

They are blind.

Blind as to what is so obviously happening around them.

Clueless.

They were clueless.

Something that I am not.

Tsunade is no beggar.

She says the word and obedience follows.

"Sakura, please… What can I do to make this mission appeal to you?"

I guess I'm the exception.

The positions were switched. Now, I am at a loss for words..

"Tsunade.. I don't want anything from you.." The words spewed out of my mouth before I could process them.. As did the following words that I wish I could take back. What do they call it.. Verbal diarrhea?

"But I do have one request.." The tired woman stared me down, "If and when I bring Sasuke home, I ask that he doesn't receive the death sentence after interrogation."

Did I just give in? I think I just did..

Without a moments hesitation, her mouth fell ajar. She was stunned.. And I think I was too. How did my brain come up with that request?

"I offer you anything you want, and you waste your free pass on that bastard! You are one sick puppy. I understand that you and your team want to be together and happy again, but this too far. I might allow you to leave this village and hunt him down, but I sure as hell won't let you fall into his sadistic traps. I know what it's like to lose a teammate like this. Hell, me and Jiraiya never got ours back. We tried for years with no avail. In the end, we had no hope left in us. But you and Naruto are pretty freaking adamant about it, aren't you? Is this really what you want?"

If I'm going to do this, I need to do it with my whole heart.

Insert dramatic pause.

"Yes, Tsunade."

"..Fine. You'll get your wish, if and when you bring him home. But now I must ask for an explanation for this madness."

I set my eyes downcast.

"Because I know that after interrogation, they'll find some reason as to why he should be killed. Whether it's true or not."

Tsunade looked at me, expression swapped from previous confusion to the empathy now shown in her eyes.

"I guess, for lack of better words, it would be like Orochimaru returning to the village. Even if he vowed to never kill again, his punishment would have been worthy of death. No mercy would have been shown on him." I said, my voice lowering and quivering for some odd reason.

I know she understands. I can feel it in the way she looks at me. The way she her gaze almost looks sympathetic. I don't want her pity. She's dealt with the same heartbreaking decisions, and no matter how many times that I tell myself no one understands, I know that Tsunade does.

"You leave early tomorrow morning. Say your goodbyes. Don't tell anyone the goal of this mission, especially Naruto."

..Sympathetic my ass.

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My audio obsession as of now: Thunder by Boys Like Girls

"Today is a winding road that's taken me to places that I didn't want to go.. Today in the blink of an eye, I'm holding on to something and I do not know why."

Basically I was trying to portray some kind of bitter emotion and raw feelings through the first chapter. Getting things started and setting up the story. Most of the italicized words are thoughts, other than the ones in spoken sentences or just stressed words in a non-verbalized sentence. I wanted to express the irony of the situation... She's a healer/medical ninja, asked to do just the opposite of her job to a man who she should hate, yet she's basically pleading for his mercy for when he comes back.

I l o v e a l l m y r e a d e r s a n d r e v i e w e r s !

- Y o u k e e p m e w r i t i n g :]