Hiatari
Her eyes flickered open. For a long time she was just content to lay there on her back, letting her mind float around. Her senses returned to her after a while. She became aware the dim clatter of her mother washing dishes below her. The warm sunlight beat down on her face with the warmth of a sister's embrace. Her mind pulled itself back to reality, and she sat up.
She looked around her room, with an almost sad expression on her face. This room will never be the same, she thought to herself. There were always too many memories. Too many laughs, too many smiles, too many whispered words, and after a while, too many tears.
No one knew, of course. That would be like throwing all of her hard work away. And it really wasn't so bad- all these memories. Because that was all they were: memories. Memories of good times that should not be forgotten, but not be ached over either. There was too little of life to spend her time grieving over what had been lost.
She smiled faintly at her slumbering cat and slid carefully out of bed. It would not do to wake her feline companion this early in the morning. That would not be appreciated. Actually, it sometimes seemed that maybe her cat had acquired some of her bad sleeping habits, she thought with a sudden spark of humor. The cat stirred, and she froze.
Her blue eyes didn't waver from the form until she was absolutely certain that there was no danger of being found out. She stood for a few more moments for good measure, and then crossed the room to her dresser.
Without making a sound she stripped out of her pajamas and slipped into a short green pleated skirt. She reached into her closet to grab her crisp white shirt with the green cape and the red bow when her hand brushed her other uniform. With a tiny, ironic smile, she pulled it out of her closet and gazed at it. She hadn't worn the knee length blue skirt and the uniform top on so long. She touched the center of the bow, where the cloth was slightly worn from the brooch she had always worn. Her finger came away dusty. The smile disappeared from her face, and she placed the skirt and top back into the closet at the back of the wooden hangar-bar. That was where it would always stay: in the back of her closet and her mind, gathering dust.
She struggled into her shoes and padded over to the mirror. Her reflection looked back at her, and she smiled. Yes, life was a beautiful thing, and so are memories. Her reflection nodded in unison with her, and she swooped her hair up into her trademark braid. The girl in the mirror was a different person than she had been a few years back. A few years back she had been lost, confused, and perfectly willing to follow whatever anyone told her to do. Maybe it was because she was older, or maybe it was because she had been through too much, but now she believed in making her own destiny, whatever it was.
Come what may, her reflection mouthed. She nodded and walked quietly towards the window. It opened without a sound. Probably from so many months of late-night visits, she thought with a reminiscent smile. Her heart beating more quickly, she swung her legs out the window and onto the tree limb right outside. She knew she could do it-she had seen him do it often enough.
She grasped the branch above her head and walked sideways down the branch to the trunk. Breathing heavily, she wrapped her arms around it and waited until her heart had resumed it regular beat. With that accomplished, she climbed down as far as she could go and screwed up her courage. With a tiny gasp, she dropped from the lowest branch and landed on the ground on her feet, but then fell backwards onto her rear. Muttering softly to herself, she stood up, dusted her bottom off, and ran to the garage for her bike.
He had bought the bike for her at the very end of school, as an end-of-the- year present, he had said. It was a dark, dark purple, to remind her of him always. She had taken it with a delighted smile, and had given him a present in return. She had always felt so safe around him, but they both knew it wouldn't be able to last. And it hadn't. She had been terribly depressed, but then for some reason it had all changed. If there was one thing he had taught her, it was that you couldn't live life pining after one person or thing. He had tried it, and he had died for it. You had to live your life for the moment, enjoy the good time, take the bad times, and remember them for what they were.
She had always valued his advice, and he had given it freely. She really only had one regret about the affair. She wished that she could have told her friends about it. Her entire body seemed to sigh. She wished she could have told her friends how deliriously happy she was-but they wouldn't have believed her. They probably would have charged her house demanding justice, she thought with a smile.
Another thing he had taught her was that there was no such thing as "good" and "evil". There were always catches. There were always situations that prompted actions that classified someone as "good" or "evil". Sometimes it was in the eye of the beholder. She no longer fought for "good". She didn't fight because it was expected of her. She didn't fight because she was a reincarnated princess. She fought because there were creatures out there in the world that were going to hurt innocent people. With this revelation, her powers had swelled to immense levels, surpassing that of the woman she would one day become.
Or not.
Smiling, she touched the sticker of a foul little creature named "Happy Bunny". He had given it to her. It was her most treasured possession, besides her bike. She mounted the purple contraption and pushed on the pedal. Her bicycle jerked, and then began its wobbly way down her driveway. It was in bad shape-it had always been that way. He had made it himself, sold it, and then bought it back for some insane reason. It was one of the reasons that she loved him.
Her bike picked up speed and she whizzed down the streets. It was all familiar to her, but it just seemed that it was different. Everywhere her eyes landed she saw something a new way, and she knew why. It was because she had changed. He had shown her a different way of looking at things, and now she was seeing through his eyes-somewhat literally.
Due to their blood, a simple change had occurred the first time he had ever kissed her. Her face was impassive as she remembered. It had been her first dance at her new school, and she had gone as Princess Serenity. She had had a perfectly miserable time, and so left the dance early. She had walked into her room, and there he was. He had looked so choked with emotion that she hadn't known what to do, and when he kissed her.. Luckily for her, no one noticed that her once completely blue eyes were now sporting odd, beautiful specks of violet. His eyes had undergone the same change, and he had complained loudly that her lovely blue eyes had invaded his own violet. After a bit of artful persuasion, he had decided that sharing the same eyes wouldn't be so bad. It had taken her virginity, and she wasn't regretful in the least. They had been in love. That was all the reason she had ever needed.
She came to a stoplight and pulled on the brake handles. She heard people calling out to her, and she glanced over. Her old friends Minako, Rei, Ami, and Makoto were all sitting at a table outside of a fancy café. She smiled warmly at them and gave a little wave. They turned back to their business. The light turned green, and she began to pedal again.
It was a little strange to see how much people could grow apart. She really didn't have any close friends anymore, besides Naru and Umino. Strangely enough, she had told them everything from her debut as Sailor Moon to her affair with the prince who had captured her heart. They had accepted the story and welcomed her into their circle of friendship with open arms. Sometimes she felt guilty for being there with people obviously so untainted, but then Naru would smile at her and it would all be right again.
Someone yelled at her out of a car window, and she ignored him. There was no point in getting upset about it. Hooting at her probably made him feel better about his lack of a social life, so why not let him? It wasn't like she would ever see him again anyways. She rose over a hill and sighed softly when she saw the grassy park looming before her. She spotted Mamoru kissing a girl on what she used to think of as "their bench" and smiled. He was happy. That was all she ever really wanted.
She turned to the left and cut down through an alley. Swerving to avoid the trashcans, the alley abruptly opened up to a large, grassy hill. They had set the hill-world up together. The alley was a portal to a small pocket of peace where she had created a hill that was always covered in the greenest grass. There was a tall metal frame; from which hung two flat wooden swings attached to the frame by metal chains.
Bending forwards, she pedaled furiously as her bike took her up to the top of the hill. She smiled to herself in satisfaction and set her bike gently down on the ground. Biting her lip and trying to restrain the tears, she walked slowly over to the swing. Smoothing her skirt under her, she sat gently down on the wooden plank. Her eyes moved to the right, and she watched the empty swing sway beside her in the breeze.
She sighed very softly and pushed lightly off the ground. The blue sky stretched endlessly above her, broken up by wispy fragments of white. The breeze picked up, slanting across the unreal green grass and blowing her hair into disarray. She was faintly aware that cool tears were gliding down her cheeks, and she bowed her head.
It was truly time to let go. She couldn't hold on to him forever- he was never coming back. It was a fact that she had to face, or she would waste her life away exactly the way he always told her not to. He would have wanted it to be this way, she told herself firmly. He had defied the gods and their world just to be with her, and when they found him again they had let him stay with her for six months. He always knew that it wasn't enough time, but he had made her learn what she could in that time.
She could do this.
Her mind reeling and her heat thumping painfully in her ribcage, she stopped the swing and just sat there with her head bowed for a moment. She reached into her pocket and drew out a photo taken by a photographer. They had been lying on the grass under a sakura tree. His hands had been under his head, and his silver hair had been spread all over the grass around his head. She had been lying curled up against his side, head resting on his shoulder. They had both been laughing.
Tears rolled off her face, and she brushed them away impatiently. There was a time and place for everything, and this was no time or place for tears. She flipped the photo over and lovingly traced the names on the back. Then she slid off the swing, bent down and placed the picture in the grass below the wood.
She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and remounted her bike. She flew down the hill and out of sight. She couldn't afford one last look-it would ruin her.
There was a low flash of silver light as she left the hill-world forever. The abandoned wind howled despairingly, and picked up speed. The clouds moved at an unreal pace through the too-blue sky, and the picture flipped over and tumbled down the hill that went forever, clearly showing the message on the back.
"To Usagi- I know you always wanted a picture of us together, and well, I'm not really photogenic. Remember that calendar man that took our picture? I got a copy from him, and here it is. - With love forever, Diamond."
Her eyes flickered open. For a long time she was just content to lay there on her back, letting her mind float around. Her senses returned to her after a while. She became aware the dim clatter of her mother washing dishes below her. The warm sunlight beat down on her face with the warmth of a sister's embrace. Her mind pulled itself back to reality, and she sat up.
She looked around her room, with an almost sad expression on her face. This room will never be the same, she thought to herself. There were always too many memories. Too many laughs, too many smiles, too many whispered words, and after a while, too many tears.
No one knew, of course. That would be like throwing all of her hard work away. And it really wasn't so bad- all these memories. Because that was all they were: memories. Memories of good times that should not be forgotten, but not be ached over either. There was too little of life to spend her time grieving over what had been lost.
She smiled faintly at her slumbering cat and slid carefully out of bed. It would not do to wake her feline companion this early in the morning. That would not be appreciated. Actually, it sometimes seemed that maybe her cat had acquired some of her bad sleeping habits, she thought with a sudden spark of humor. The cat stirred, and she froze.
Her blue eyes didn't waver from the form until she was absolutely certain that there was no danger of being found out. She stood for a few more moments for good measure, and then crossed the room to her dresser.
Without making a sound she stripped out of her pajamas and slipped into a short green pleated skirt. She reached into her closet to grab her crisp white shirt with the green cape and the red bow when her hand brushed her other uniform. With a tiny, ironic smile, she pulled it out of her closet and gazed at it. She hadn't worn the knee length blue skirt and the uniform top on so long. She touched the center of the bow, where the cloth was slightly worn from the brooch she had always worn. Her finger came away dusty. The smile disappeared from her face, and she placed the skirt and top back into the closet at the back of the wooden hangar-bar. That was where it would always stay: in the back of her closet and her mind, gathering dust.
She struggled into her shoes and padded over to the mirror. Her reflection looked back at her, and she smiled. Yes, life was a beautiful thing, and so are memories. Her reflection nodded in unison with her, and she swooped her hair up into her trademark braid. The girl in the mirror was a different person than she had been a few years back. A few years back she had been lost, confused, and perfectly willing to follow whatever anyone told her to do. Maybe it was because she was older, or maybe it was because she had been through too much, but now she believed in making her own destiny, whatever it was.
Come what may, her reflection mouthed. She nodded and walked quietly towards the window. It opened without a sound. Probably from so many months of late-night visits, she thought with a reminiscent smile. Her heart beating more quickly, she swung her legs out the window and onto the tree limb right outside. She knew she could do it-she had seen him do it often enough.
She grasped the branch above her head and walked sideways down the branch to the trunk. Breathing heavily, she wrapped her arms around it and waited until her heart had resumed it regular beat. With that accomplished, she climbed down as far as she could go and screwed up her courage. With a tiny gasp, she dropped from the lowest branch and landed on the ground on her feet, but then fell backwards onto her rear. Muttering softly to herself, she stood up, dusted her bottom off, and ran to the garage for her bike.
He had bought the bike for her at the very end of school, as an end-of-the- year present, he had said. It was a dark, dark purple, to remind her of him always. She had taken it with a delighted smile, and had given him a present in return. She had always felt so safe around him, but they both knew it wouldn't be able to last. And it hadn't. She had been terribly depressed, but then for some reason it had all changed. If there was one thing he had taught her, it was that you couldn't live life pining after one person or thing. He had tried it, and he had died for it. You had to live your life for the moment, enjoy the good time, take the bad times, and remember them for what they were.
She had always valued his advice, and he had given it freely. She really only had one regret about the affair. She wished that she could have told her friends about it. Her entire body seemed to sigh. She wished she could have told her friends how deliriously happy she was-but they wouldn't have believed her. They probably would have charged her house demanding justice, she thought with a smile.
Another thing he had taught her was that there was no such thing as "good" and "evil". There were always catches. There were always situations that prompted actions that classified someone as "good" or "evil". Sometimes it was in the eye of the beholder. She no longer fought for "good". She didn't fight because it was expected of her. She didn't fight because she was a reincarnated princess. She fought because there were creatures out there in the world that were going to hurt innocent people. With this revelation, her powers had swelled to immense levels, surpassing that of the woman she would one day become.
Or not.
Smiling, she touched the sticker of a foul little creature named "Happy Bunny". He had given it to her. It was her most treasured possession, besides her bike. She mounted the purple contraption and pushed on the pedal. Her bicycle jerked, and then began its wobbly way down her driveway. It was in bad shape-it had always been that way. He had made it himself, sold it, and then bought it back for some insane reason. It was one of the reasons that she loved him.
Her bike picked up speed and she whizzed down the streets. It was all familiar to her, but it just seemed that it was different. Everywhere her eyes landed she saw something a new way, and she knew why. It was because she had changed. He had shown her a different way of looking at things, and now she was seeing through his eyes-somewhat literally.
Due to their blood, a simple change had occurred the first time he had ever kissed her. Her face was impassive as she remembered. It had been her first dance at her new school, and she had gone as Princess Serenity. She had had a perfectly miserable time, and so left the dance early. She had walked into her room, and there he was. He had looked so choked with emotion that she hadn't known what to do, and when he kissed her.. Luckily for her, no one noticed that her once completely blue eyes were now sporting odd, beautiful specks of violet. His eyes had undergone the same change, and he had complained loudly that her lovely blue eyes had invaded his own violet. After a bit of artful persuasion, he had decided that sharing the same eyes wouldn't be so bad. It had taken her virginity, and she wasn't regretful in the least. They had been in love. That was all the reason she had ever needed.
She came to a stoplight and pulled on the brake handles. She heard people calling out to her, and she glanced over. Her old friends Minako, Rei, Ami, and Makoto were all sitting at a table outside of a fancy café. She smiled warmly at them and gave a little wave. They turned back to their business. The light turned green, and she began to pedal again.
It was a little strange to see how much people could grow apart. She really didn't have any close friends anymore, besides Naru and Umino. Strangely enough, she had told them everything from her debut as Sailor Moon to her affair with the prince who had captured her heart. They had accepted the story and welcomed her into their circle of friendship with open arms. Sometimes she felt guilty for being there with people obviously so untainted, but then Naru would smile at her and it would all be right again.
Someone yelled at her out of a car window, and she ignored him. There was no point in getting upset about it. Hooting at her probably made him feel better about his lack of a social life, so why not let him? It wasn't like she would ever see him again anyways. She rose over a hill and sighed softly when she saw the grassy park looming before her. She spotted Mamoru kissing a girl on what she used to think of as "their bench" and smiled. He was happy. That was all she ever really wanted.
She turned to the left and cut down through an alley. Swerving to avoid the trashcans, the alley abruptly opened up to a large, grassy hill. They had set the hill-world up together. The alley was a portal to a small pocket of peace where she had created a hill that was always covered in the greenest grass. There was a tall metal frame; from which hung two flat wooden swings attached to the frame by metal chains.
Bending forwards, she pedaled furiously as her bike took her up to the top of the hill. She smiled to herself in satisfaction and set her bike gently down on the ground. Biting her lip and trying to restrain the tears, she walked slowly over to the swing. Smoothing her skirt under her, she sat gently down on the wooden plank. Her eyes moved to the right, and she watched the empty swing sway beside her in the breeze.
She sighed very softly and pushed lightly off the ground. The blue sky stretched endlessly above her, broken up by wispy fragments of white. The breeze picked up, slanting across the unreal green grass and blowing her hair into disarray. She was faintly aware that cool tears were gliding down her cheeks, and she bowed her head.
It was truly time to let go. She couldn't hold on to him forever- he was never coming back. It was a fact that she had to face, or she would waste her life away exactly the way he always told her not to. He would have wanted it to be this way, she told herself firmly. He had defied the gods and their world just to be with her, and when they found him again they had let him stay with her for six months. He always knew that it wasn't enough time, but he had made her learn what she could in that time.
She could do this.
Her mind reeling and her heat thumping painfully in her ribcage, she stopped the swing and just sat there with her head bowed for a moment. She reached into her pocket and drew out a photo taken by a photographer. They had been lying on the grass under a sakura tree. His hands had been under his head, and his silver hair had been spread all over the grass around his head. She had been lying curled up against his side, head resting on his shoulder. They had both been laughing.
Tears rolled off her face, and she brushed them away impatiently. There was a time and place for everything, and this was no time or place for tears. She flipped the photo over and lovingly traced the names on the back. Then she slid off the swing, bent down and placed the picture in the grass below the wood.
She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and remounted her bike. She flew down the hill and out of sight. She couldn't afford one last look-it would ruin her.
There was a low flash of silver light as she left the hill-world forever. The abandoned wind howled despairingly, and picked up speed. The clouds moved at an unreal pace through the too-blue sky, and the picture flipped over and tumbled down the hill that went forever, clearly showing the message on the back.
"To Usagi- I know you always wanted a picture of us together, and well, I'm not really photogenic. Remember that calendar man that took our picture? I got a copy from him, and here it is. - With love forever, Diamond."