A/N: Better 2 years late than never….right? My grandest apologies for the delay. To those who have been with me since the beginning, if you're still out there, I hope it was worth the wait. And to those just joining us…it's essential to have read Traveling Light before this one; not so much The Christmas File, but I wouldn't be sad if you wanted to read that one too.
Chapter 1
Cuddy inhaled deeply through her nose, stretching her muscles as she slowly came to consciousness. She opened her eyes, squinting at the early morning sun peering through the sheer drapes in her bedroom. It was a beautiful spring day and the weather was supposed to reach the mid- 70s by this afternoon, no rain expected. She expelled a sigh of relief, a smile splitting her face. It was perfect; perfect weather for a wedding, her outdoor wedding. It was the day she had been dreaming about since House had proposed to her several months ago. The day that just over a year ago she thought she'd never experience in her life, having given up on the dream years before.
For a while she began to think marriage and family just weren't in her future; they weren't meant for her. She had spent most of her adult life concentrating on her medical career, leaving almost no time for dating and relationships. The relationships she did have she screwed up fairly quickly. A lot of that having to do with the fact that no one she was with, made her feel that lifelong happiness she felt she deserved to have. House was in no small part to blame for a lot of those problems either. Every time she had a date or had begun seeing someone new, House was there to screw it up. It was like he had it out to make her personal life just as miserable as he made her professional life.
But it was funny how life turned out. They'd known each other since college and had spent one night together before he disappeared. It was ok though, because one night was all it was supposed to be; no hard feelings. Later, she'd found out why he disappeared, but she never pursued him. She had heard his name here and there throughout the years and was fully aware of his reputation in the medical profession, but it wasn't until she was Dean of PPTH and he came around looking for a job because he couldn't get hired anywhere else, that she first laid eyes on him again. Years went by where he was practically the bane of her existence (most of it having to do with the infarction and her part in it) and yet somehow she still managed to harbor strong feelings toward him. It wasn't until many years later when Bella came into their lives that they finally gave in to their feelings for one another, and they now shared a daughter and were about to be married.
Cuddy turned her head at the thought of her daughter, seeing her little body cocooned beneath the blankets, and her head with a mass of dark curly hair spread out over the white pillow beneath it. Cuddy smiled at the sight of Bella asleep next to her. Bella had wanted to sleep in Cuddy's bed while House had been out having fun at his bachelor party last night. For her part, she didn't have a bachelorette party, merely a small get together with her daughter, mother, and few other people. They had talked, laughed, and generally had a great time. She didn't need anything else.
She sighed softly, bringing herself out of her thoughts and glancing at the clock. She needed to get up to pack a few last minute things to get ready for her big day. It was then that she heard Bella slowly begin to stir, her head turning to face Cuddy, a soft breath escaping through her nose. She turned over onto her side, curling her body into the warmth of Cuddy's, still asleep. Cuddy reached her left hand over and gently ran her fingers through Bella's wild curls. Bella mumbled something unintelligible at the feel of Cuddy's hands in her hair and she smiled widely, loving the cute sounds her daughter made when she was sleeping and imagined she'd made the same ones as a baby. She placed a kiss on Bella's forehead and continued combing her fingers through her hair, causing her to sigh softly and stir once more in her sleep. After a few moments, Bella slowly opened her eyes, blinking against the brightness of the room. Cuddy watched as Bella slowly became aware of her surroundings and glanced up at Cuddy.
"Morning." Cuddy whispered with a smile.
Bella returned a sleepy smile, curling into Cuddy a bit more. "Morning." She mumbled sleepily.
"Did you sleep ok?"
Bella nodded. "What time is it? Is it time to get up?" She whispered, her voice slurry with sleep.
"It's just after 7:30, but we have a little time before we need to be up."
Bella nodded in response before a huge smile came to her face. "You and Dad are getting married today." She mumbled into the pillow, happiness shining in her eyes.
Cuddy smiled, nodding her head. "Yeah."
"Are you nervous, Mom?"
"Mm, not yet. I will be later, though."
"Me too. I don't want to mess up anything, like drop the ring or trip or something. That'd be embarrassing."
Amused, Cuddy chuckled softly. "You won't, you'll be just fine."
Cuddy continued combing her fingers through Bella's hair, brushing her curls away from her face and placing another kiss to her forehead. Bella's hair had grown out quite a bit and was now down to the middle of her back. It was soft and beautiful and Cuddy couldn't wait to see it styled for the ceremony.
"Do you think Dad is awake yet?" Bella asked suddenly, glancing up at Cuddy.
"I doubt it. You know how your Dad likes to sleep in." She scoffed, knowing that House would sleep as late as he could get away with before getting ready for the wedding.
"Maybe he'll make an exception on his wedding day." Bella pondered. "But I bet Uncle James will have to wake him up."
"Yeah well, hopefully they're not both-." Cuddy mused before stopping herself, glancing down at Bella as she listened intently. She knew that her fiancée and his best friend had probably done too much drinking last night and could possibly be suffering from hangovers this morning but she didn't want Bella to know that.
"Hopefully they're not both what?" Bella asked curiously, her lip curled upward in amusement.
Cuddy narrowed her eyes at Bella, suspecting she was already aware of what Cuddy meant.
"Drunk?" Bella supplied.
Cuddy sighed and rolled her eyes. "Hung over…how do you know about-."
"I'm nine, Mom, I'm not stupid. Besides, I've seen a lot of drunk people in New York before. It's no big deal. Like this one time at New Year's, there was this guy who was walking down the street with a party hat on, screaming 'Happy New Year', wearing nothing but his underwear, even though it was like, really freezing outside, and then he started taking them off and-"
"Ok, ok, I don't think I want to hear this story." Cuddy stopped her, horror in her eyes. "But, oh god, please tell me you didn't see his…" She asked, shifting her eyes downward.
"No, Mattie covered my eyes just in time." She assured with a shiver of disgust.
"Oh thank God for Mattie." Cuddy breathed a sigh of relief.
"Besides, it's not like Dad would be like that anyway."
"Oh I wouldn't be so sure of that." Cuddy replied dryly, rolling her eyes.
Bella curled her lip in disgust at the thought of her father taking his clothes off. "Gross, Mom."
Cuddy laughed at Bella's horrified expression before hugging her tighter against her side, placing a kiss to her forehead again.
Bella rested her head on Cuddy's shoulder, curling closer to her, seeking warmth in the slight chill of the room. After a few moments of comfortable silence between them, Bella spoke up once more. "Mom."
"Mm."
"I'm going to miss you and Dad when you're on your honeymoon." Bella told her, tilting her head up to look at Cuddy.
"We're going to miss you too. But you'll be having fun with Grandma and Oma while we're gone, so you won't have time to miss us much." She told Bella sweetly.
Bella nodded before giving a slight shrug of her shoulders, tilting her head down again. "I wish I could go with you."
Cuddy glanced down at her daughter, troubled over the slight melancholy in her tone. It was the first time she had expressed conflicting emotion over them leaving on their honeymoon. To this point, she had been excited about it, joking that she would finally have some 'peace and quiet' around here. But now as Cuddy really thought about it, it did seem kind of unfair that she and House were going off on their honeymoon while their daughter had to stay there and go to school.
Bella was still curled into her, her index finger playing with a loose thread on the comforter as Cuddy's finger mimicked the motion with a strand of Bella's hair. She sighed. But what if there was more to it than her and House, essentially taking a vacation without Bella? What if it was about something else entirely?
This would be the first time they'd be separated from each other for that length of time. Bella had been through a great trauma in the past, losing her family; and while she was doing incredibly well these days, Cuddy knew she still suffered through the loss at times, and it would never truly go away. In that instant, she wanted to kick herself; she couldn't believe she hadn't seen it before. She had been so caught up in planning the wedding, she hadn't been thinking of how this would affect Bella. Cuddy sighed again and tilted Bella's chin up, meeting her eyes. She needed to get to the bottom of this now.
"Hey." She said softly.
Bella's lip quirked. "Hey." She responded.
"What's bothering you?"
Bella shrugged. "Just going to miss you, that's all."
Cuddy shook her head. "Tell me the truth, I can tell something else is bothering you."
She shifted her eyes away from Cuddy's for a moment before moving them back.
She gently brushed her thumb over Bella's cheek. "We're going to be fine, nothing is going to happen to us." She assured her daughter, getting to what she thought was the issue.
Bella stared into Cuddy's eyes. "I know." She replied, trying to sound confident but a slight waver in her voice giving her away.
"Sweetheart, have you been afraid of us leaving and never coming back?"
Bella stared silently, her jaw dropping slightly in surprise.
"How long have you felt this way?" Cuddy asked gently.
Bella sighed, shaking her head, moving in to hug her mother. "Not long, just now that it's closer. It's stupid, I know you're coming back."
"It's not stupid. I wish you'd said something sooner, though. If you don't want us to go, Bella, we won't. We'll stay here and go another time…all of us."
As she spoke, Bella was shaking her head, still secure in her mother's embrace. "No, I want you to go on your honeymoon, Mom. I can deal."
"Sweetheart, I don't want that for you, ok? You are important to your dad and me, your feelings are important to us." She stressed. "It's not something we just deal with, we've tried that before, remember? It didn't work out so well and we can't go back to that." She paused, leaning back, watching Bella's expression as she processed what Cuddy was saying. "We have to talk about it with each other, we handle it the way it's supposed to be handled. If you need to go back to Dr. Sloan, then we do that too."
"Mommy, I'm fine, it's not that bad. I told you, I don't feel like that all the time, I promise. I don't have the nightmares and I feel happy most of the time. I just got a little apprehensive." Bella insisted. "I'm fine, ok?"
Cuddy studied her face, looking into her daughter's eyes, hoping to see sincerity and not appeasement; while simultaneously and perhaps less importantly for this moment, in the back of her mind, noting her pride over Bella's use of the word 'apprehensive' and wondering when she'd learned it. Shifting her mind back to the matter at hand, she placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before speaking. "Sweetheart, if-"
"Mom, don't worry about me." Bella interrupted, propping herself up with her arm. "I'm doing good; I mean well, I'm doing well. And it's your wedding day, you're only allowed to worry about not tripping down the aisle." Bella added with a teasing smile.
Cuddy huffed a laugh, shaking her head. "Thanks a lot."
Bella giggled.
Not sure if she should let it go so easily, Cuddy watched Bella carefully for a moment. "You'll tell us if it ever becomes too much?"
Bella nodded, sweeping her finger in a cross over her heart.
Finally satisfied that she was being truthful, she gave her a nod, accepting her reassurances and adding, "Tell you what, I'll talk to your Dad and maybe we'll plan a trip for all of us later in the summer, ok? I think it's well deserved."
Bella's face brightened in surprise, nodding her approval. "Really? Can we go to the ocean? I want to play in the waves and swim with the dolphins, they're soooo cute. And I want to play on the sand and hunt for seashells and go snorkeling and…" She rambled.
"Ok, ok…I'll talk to Dad about it, but I think it could be arranged." Cuddy interrupted Bella's animated rant.
"Yes!" Bella squealed, bouncing up and down on the mattress. "Thanks, Mommy." She said, throwing her arms around Cuddy's neck.
Cuddy chuckled, wrapping her arms around Bella in a tight hug. "But I'm still gonna miss you." Bella added, her face buried in Cuddy's hair.
Before she could reply, there was a knock on the bedroom door. It opened to Laura Cuddy peeking inside the room. "Good morning, you two." She said with a smile.
"Morning, Mom." Cuddy answered, returning her smile.
"Morning, Grandma." Bella replied, moving out of Cuddy's arms and sitting up once more to face her grandmother.
Laura stepped inside the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Happy Wedding Day, darling." She told her daughter.
Cuddy's smile widened as she glanced at her mom. "Thanks." She replied.
"Well, I thought I'd make breakfast before we all start our busy day? Bella, would you like to come help me and Oma make breakfast for the bride?"
Bella turned her head to look at her, a smile playing on her lips. "Ok, Grandma."
"Mom, please don't make a feast." Cuddy begged, knowing her mother would do just that. "It's just the four of us and I'm not that hungry and we have too much to do before we have to leave for the salon." Cuddy told her mother.
"We have plenty of time, honey. You need to eat so you don't pass out while you're up there reciting your vows to Greg." She teased Cuddy, winking at Bella as a smile appeared on her lips.
Cuddy rolled her eyes. "If I pass out it won't be because I didn't eat, it'll be from nerves." She mumbled, sitting up in bed and passing her hand through her hair.
"Oh, you'll be fine, Lisa."
Bella crawled out of the bed on the other side, eager to start the day. "Yeah Mom, you'll be great."
Cuddy gave her daughter a grateful smile as she stepped out of bed, making her way to the bathroom. "I'm going to get a shower." Cuddy told her mom.
"Ok, honey. We'll get breakfast quickly before we start gathering everything together to leave."
Cuddy nodded as they walked out the bedroom door, closing it behind them; but not before she heard Bella ask her Grandma if the Maid of Honor was supposed to cook breakfast for the bride. Her question brought a smile to Cuddy's lips.
A while back, when they started planning the wedding, she had asked Bella to be her maid of honor because she couldn't think of anyone better for the job. After the shock from being asked went away, Bella gratefully and excitedly accepted but had been nervous about what a maid of honor was supposed to do. Cuddy had informed her of what the duties were and promised that Grandma and Oma would be there to help her as well. Her favorite part was telling her daughter she would be responsible for handing her the ring during the ceremony. Bella's face had lit up with so much joy; she looked like she was going to explode with it. Cuddy knew that giving Bella such a responsibility would mean the world to her and that it would be something she'd remember for the rest of her life. But also, Cuddy couldn't imagine not having her daughter participate in the wedding. Not only would Bella remember it, but Cuddy knew she would cherish the day even more by having Bella at her side as well. It just felt right.
Just before she closed the door to the bathroom, she heard her phone beep, letting her know she had an incoming text. Cuddy doubled back and grabbed her cell from the nightstand, looking at the text message and seeing that it was from House.
Wilson's bachelor parties suck. Looks like I'll be sober 4 this shindig. I think I deserve to be rewarded with a quickie before our nuptials commence.
Cuddy rolled her eyes and typed her response.
Sorry stud, you're not allowed to see me before the wedding. Especially not for a quickie.
She smiled, already picturing his eye roll. House wasn't exactly in favor of keeping wedding traditions such as that, but she insisted. They were already a non-traditional family, it couldn't hurt them to follow a few traditions now and then. She set her phone down and made her way into the bathroom. She'd wait to read his response; after all, she had a wedding day to get ready for.
After spending more time in the shower than usual, Cuddy came out of the bathroom with her hair wrapped in a towel and another around her body. She moved to check her phone, noticing another text message. She wondered how long he had been waiting for her response. Cuddy smiled when she read it.
You know better than anyone how I feel about rules…
Cuddy couldn't help rolling her eyes at his text, typing out her response to him.
Behave and I'll make it worth your while…later.
Fine, but at least send me a nudie pic of you to tide me over.
She laughed, responding. I think you've seen me naked enough times to conjure the image.
True, but I was thinking of setting it as the wallpaper on my phone.
Forget it. Shouldn't you be busy getting ready for a certain sacred event taking place this evening?
Is there a monster truck rally happening that I'm not aware of?
Cuddy laughed. Since it's our wedding day, I'll b forgiving, and forget you said that.
Cuddy set her phone aside, shaking her head. She was unable to stop smiling as she thought about her wedding day. The butterflies began fluttering in her stomach as she sat there, thinking about walking down the aisle, seeing House for the first time in his suit as he waited for her at the altar, slipping the ring on his finger, saying 'I Do', kissing him for the first time as his wife. She couldn't believe she was going to be married to Greg House in a matter of hours.
"Mom? Breakfast is ready." She heard Bella call through the closed bedroom door, startling her out of her thoughts.
"Coming, baby girl." Cuddy answered, standing from her seated position on the bed and grabbing some clothes out of her dresser.
The morning was flying by. At the salon, Cuddy was getting her make up done while Bella got her nails painted and her mother and Blythe got their hair styled. To save time, Cuddy had gotten a mani/pedi the day before. The nerves had begun to set in a little more as Cuddy sat there, nothing like she imagines will happen once she's ready to walk down the aisle in a few hours though. Bella was chattering away, completely excited about everything that was happening and going to happen. Lena, the young woman painting Bella's nails, listened attentively as Bella described the wedding, and every once in a while would patiently tell her not to talk with her hands. Cuddy smiled along, but her thoughts were never far away from her fluttering nerves. She was beginning to shake a little but that could be low blood sugar since she only picked at her breakfast and it was now nearing lunchtime. Cuddy wondered what House was doing at this very moment and if he was just as nervous as she was.
After nails were dry, and make up done, Cuddy and Bella moved over to get their hair styled. Cuddy watched and listened to her daughter throughout the process as she was now retelling everything she told Lena, to the stylist, Carmen. Cuddy dared say that Bella was more excited by this wedding than Cuddy herself was…but that wasn't true, she was just holding it in better. Sort of.
Leaving the salon, they made the hour long drive and pulled into the parking lot at the Ashmore Estate, where the wedding would be taking place. It was a beautiful old plantation house built in the 1860s. As they exited the vehicle, Cuddy smiled and took in the beauty of the place. The grand columns supporting the old house, the wrought iron railings along the stairs leading to the front door and along the balconies on each end, the green expanse of the property, and the tall oak trees lining the drive were simply breathtaking. The ceremony itself would be in the lush gardens at the back of the house and a tent was set up for the reception afterward.
They made their way inside the house where the owners of the property welcomed and congratulated them. The manager, whom they had met when she and House toured the estate, showed them to the suites they would be using. The room was gorgeous and spacious. It was called the Blue Room, obviously for the décor. The walls were soft periwinkle with white molding around the room. The furniture was antique and well cared for; she was almost afraid to touch anything, it was so beautiful. The hardwood floors creaked under their feet as they moved. Cuddy always loved that sound. This place was amazing. It felt lived in and comfortable; it told so many stories of all of the people who had stayed there or lived there throughout the years. It was one of the reasons they had chosen this place for their wedding.
When they were settled in the room, they took a couple of minutes to admire the room and the view outside the windows.
"We need to get some lunch before you get into your dress, Lisa." Cuddy's mom said as she set one of the bags on the floral print couch near the window.
"Yeah, I'm starving, Mom." Bella agreed as she hopped up onto the old oak desk in one corner of the room.
"Bella, please get down, there are other places to sit." Cuddy turned to her mother. "Mom, the catering staff have some sandwiches prepared for us in the kitchen, all we have to do is call down there and let them know we're ready." Cuddy answered, hanging her dress up on the door of the wardrobe.
"I'll do that, you relax. You look faint, darling."
Cuddy rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, Mom, I'm not going to pass out."
Bella looked at Cuddy with concern as she moved toward the sofa, studying her carefully for any sign that that may happen.
Cuddy smiled reassuringly at her. "Baby, I'm fine, ok? I promise."
"Your hands are shaking." Bella pointed out.
Cuddy sat down on the couch, realizing she was right. "Ok, yeah, I guess I should eat something."
There was a knock at the door before it opened and Blythe stepped in. "I just spoke to Greg, he said he and James are on their way."
"Good. At least he'll be on time." Cuddy replied teasingly, her eyebrows arched in surprise.
"Can I go see him when he gets here?" Bella asked.
Cuddy nodded in approval.
The sandwiches arrived a few minutes later. There was a small table where they placed their lunch and sat down to eat. Bella's excitement had not waned all day and she was having a hard time containing it as she moved about the room before finally sitting down to eat her lunch. But even then she couldn't keep still. Cuddy decided caffeine would be ill advised. However, it didn't keep Bella from asking.
"Mommy, please? I need a Coke."
Cuddy laughed. "I don't think so. You're going crazy, kiddo, no caffeine for you until the reception."
"So what am I supposed to drink?" She argued, shoving the last of her sandwich into her mouth, wiggling in her chair.
"How about water? You've heard of that right?"
Bella rolled her eyes. "Water is boring." She replied with her mouth full.
"Manners, please. Your grandmothers and I are drinking water, so you'll just have to suffer through with the rest of us."
"It's good for you, darling. It'll help you grow big and strong." Oma told Bella.
"I thought that was milk." Bella responded smartly.
"Do you want milk instead?" Cuddy retorted, knowing Bella really wanted that Coke so she was going to fight for it.
"No." Bella sighed, giving up, and reluctantly grabbed a bottle of water. She made her way back to her chair, a smile on her face now. "Mom, can we go outside to the gardens? I want to see it, I bet it looks beautiful."
"Sure, but Grandma or Oma will have to take you down. I need to stay up here."
"Because you're not allowed to see Dad yet?"
"Yep."
"No offense, but I think that's a stupid rule. I think you should get to see the groom whenever you want. Who made that up anyway?"
They each chuckled. "I think your Daddy would agree with you, sweetheart." Laura told her.
"Dad does like to break the rules. I bet he'll try to sneak up here."
"Probably." Laura agreed.
"Definitely." Blythe corrected. "Someone should keep an eye on him."
"That's what Wilson is for." Cuddy replied.
"Yeah, but not even Uncle James could keep Dad away. He's pretty sneaky."
Cuddy nodded her agreement.
"I'll keep him away, Mom. I'm pretty sneaky too." Bella volunteered.
"Don't I know it." Cuddy teased with a wink.
They sat around a few more minutes, finishing their lunch and relaxing before it was time for Cuddy to get into her dress. Everything else seemed to be done; her hair, makeup, nails.
Now it was time for the dress.
Cuddy stood in front of the mirror, dressed in her wedding gown, just a few minutes away from getting married to the love of her life. She was alone in the room. Her mother and Blythe having gone downstairs while Bella went to see House for a few minutes.
The butterflies were fluttering uncontrollably now as she stared at herself. She closed her eyes, taking deep, calming breaths as she stood there. She was so nervous, but in the best of ways. A few moments of controlled breathing and Cuddy opened her eyes again, a smile curving her lips at the thought of what was about to happen…finally. After years of waiting for the right man to come along, only to have had him right in front of her face the entire time; the months of preparation and planning, the fights and disagreements, to finally be standing there. She wondered for the thousandth time that day how House was feeling right now. Was he just as nervous? Of course he was, but he would never admit it.
She heard her phone beep with a new text message. Cuddy grabbed her phone; speak of the devil.
Can't wait to see you.
Cuddy smiled. God, the majority of time that man was insufferable, but then he said things like that and he was the sweetest man in the world. She quickly typed her response.
Me too.
A moment later she heard another message come through.
You can't wait to see you too? Conceiiiiited!
And the insufferable man was back. Cuddy huffed a laugh, typing.
You know what I mean, don't be an ass on my wedding day. ;)
It only took a moment for him to reply.
Just get your FINE badonkadonk down here, the sacred ball and chain is ready to be strapped on.
She couldn't help but roll her eyes as laughter slipped past her lips. See you soon, honeybuns. She replied, setting her phone down.
After a moment, Cuddy heard a light tap on the door before it opened to reveal her mother.
"Lisa…" She breathed. "You look stunning."
Cuddy smiled nervously. "Thank you, Mom." She whispered.
Laura Cuddy walked over to her daughter, standing beside her in front of the full-length mirror. "You're marrying a good man, Lisa." She told Cuddy softly.
"Yeah, I am." She nodded, agreeing with a brilliant smile.
"I'm so happy for you, darling. And so, so proud."
Cuddy looked up, seeing her mother's reflection in the mirror and meeting her eyes. Her smile grew at her mother's words, feeling the sting of tears in her eyes. "Mom, don't make me cry."
Mom laughed. "I'm sorry, honey. Come on, we need to go."
Cuddy took in a deep breath, before taking her mother's arm, walking with her out of the room. They made their way down the long stairway to the main floor, turning the corner, which would lead them to the back of the house and outside to the gardens. The double doors were open already and Cuddy could hear the music. She couldn't see House yet until she turned one final corner where a cobblestone path would lead her to her groom. She took in a deep breath and released it slowly, preparing herself. She had no sense of timing as she waited nervously. She knew Wilson and Bella were to precede her down the path but she was too anxious to take note of when it happened.
Finally, her mom gave a reassuring squeeze to Cuddy's hand in the crook of her elbow.
"Let's go darling, it's time." Her mom said.
Cuddy released a nervous breath and they took the remaining steps down the path, rounding the corner and walking toward her future.
A/N: Ok so, instead of describing Cuddy's wedding dress in the story, I decided to show it on the cover art. I found a wedding dress I liked and Photoshopped Lisa's face onto it. It's not a great job, but it was the best I could do. Also, now you know the picture I've had of what Bella looks like in my head this whole time. ;-) If anyone has trouble seeing the cover art, PM me and I'll send you a version of it. Next chapter will be up tomorrow. No really, it will.