Author Note: So this is for Beth.
In The Night
Ever since she had left the barn her body still felt the ghost impression of his lips, his hands, it had taken every bit of strength inside of her to walk out the door.
She had spent the months since he left remembering the kiss at the police station, the drug and alcohol filled tumble in the sheets. He would escape into her thoughts whenever she allowed them to.
In the silence of the night.
In the early morning hours.
While sipping tea and reading a book.
If she allowed her thoughts to drift, if she allowed herself to think about what she wanted, it always landed on him.
Eric Brady.
Kind. Compassionate. Riddled with guilt.
It had been an accident.
She got out of bed, anxious. Feeling the walls closing in on her. She dressed to go for a walk, pulling her hair into a ponytail as she glanced at the clock, six-thirty in the morning.
She hadn't slept.
Where at the night gone?
Thoughts of him.
She moved quickly down the stairs, grabbing her keys as she opened the door.
The air was thick around her when she saw him getting out of his truck.
His gaze heavy on her.
She couldn't remember ever feeling something like this before. It was different and new. Something she never thought she could experience again at this point in her life.
Her heart was pounding as he moved up the walkway. "What are you doing here?"
He was silent, obviously still struggling with his inner demons.
"Eric, say something."
He opened his mouth to speak, his eyes dropping to her lips as he reached out for her, pulling her tiny body against his. His hands caressing her cheek as he sucked in the courage he needed, "Jennifer" his mouth took hers in a hungry kiss, the kind of a man starving for a decade.
She moaned in pleasure as she held onto him, needing to feel as close to him as possible. She didn't even realize it at first but they were up against the front of the house, his body pressed against hers.
The door only five steps away.
Then how many up the stairs? Down the hall to her bedroom?
She was sure she might pass out from bliss before they could move that far.
Just as she was calculating those first five steps he pulled away.
She stared at him, trying to catch her breath, "Why did you"
"I'm not good for you Jennifer, I'm not good for anyone."
"Eric," She reached out for him, taking his hand in hers, "You are a good man, you are a kind man, you can't let this darkness destroy you."
Slowly he looked into her eyes, "I can handle it if it destroys me, I can't handle it if it destroys you." He confessed.
Pulling herself into him her hand caressed his cheek, she watched as his eyes closed and for a moment he gave into her touch, "The only way it will destroy either of us, is if you hide away from everyone that cares about you, if you hide from yourself. Is that what you want Eric, to hide for the rest of your life?"
"No" His voice thick with desire as his lips kissed her wrist.
"What do you want Eric?"
He kept his eyes shut tightly, afraid to speak, afraid to admit it.
"Eric, what do you want?" Her voice pleading, needing, coaxing him.
"You" He watched her lips curve into a smile before he captured them with his own again. He needed to taste her, to have this moment, and he hated himself for that.
He didn't deserve this.
But damn did he want and need it.
He could feel her hands slide up his arms, behind his head.
One step backwards, and then another, another before he lifted her off the ground, her legs tying themselves around his waist before he took two more steps, her back pressed against her front door.
Jennifer dropped one hand to open the door, and they almost fell backwards when it swung open.
Eric wasn't sure when he set her down or how they'd gotten in the house, just that now she had his back against the closed door, her fingers sliding down the front of his chest.
This only happened in the fantasies, the dreams he'd had the last few months. The actual sensation an entirely different feeling than what he'd been expecting. It was vibrant and electric, and he heard her moan as she kissed his neck.
Jennifer sat up, her body coated in sweat, her heart racing as she looked around the room, three-twenty-four in the morning.
It had been a dream.
One that ended too soon.
They always ended too soon.
That moment with Eric earlier made it feel even more real than they had for months.
She threw her sheets back and went to the window.
Knowing he wasn't outside, but wishing he was.
No.
Wishing he was in her bed, making her feel alive like she hadn't in far too long, wondering if that's what she made him feel—and if so, was that why he was running away?